Thursday, January 31, 2008

A Part

I once had a friend with a nephew,
Who decided to look at his clock.
"Uncle, come here!" the nephew cried,
As he loosened the clasp from the lock.

He wondered at the gearshafts,
And marvelled at the wheels;
That intricate mechanism
Seemed totally unreal.

But then he noticed something;
A spanner in the work;
A coiling strip of metal
That seemed to twist and jerk.

"It's a spring," my friend explained,
And before he could but speak;
"It looks totally useless!" was
The interrupted shriek.

"It doesn't whirr, it only spins;
It doesn't tock and it doesn't tick.
It just sits and whirls, twangs and twirls,
And makes that funny click."

"So why don't we just take it out?"
My friend, with great suspicion.
And slowly, steady, carefully,
They proceeded with their mission.

Seconds passed, nothing appeared,
Or stopped, or went kaboom;
But slowly, swiftly, silently,
The timepiece met its doom.

He tried to put the spring back in,
Explaining as he went,
That though something looked useless,
It wasn't, to any extent;

And that people, being people,
Are like raindrops in the mud:
A couple doesn't hurt you,
But more will cause a flood.

As as he taught his lessons,
The spring, out of its place,
Crumpled as he attempted
To close the lid on the case.

Not wanting to get a brand new clock,
(After all, he had this one for years)
He decided to just get a new spring,
And hang on to his sprockets and gears.

At the clockmaker's shop he inquired,
"Do you think I can sell you this spring?
It might be a little bit dented,
But I'm sure it's got use for something."

Without a glance at the metal,
The shopkeeper hurriedly said,
"That coil's worth not even a penny;
Would you like to buy something instead?"

This poem's ending is ironic,
But one of the truths of this earth:
Just because you are necessary
Doesn't mean that you have any worth.

Monday, January 28, 2008


A soul among six billion,
A face lost in the crowd.
A sand grain on a shoreline,
A droplet in a cloud.

Survival of the fittest,
Culling of the weak;
But will you die unspoken
If you're neither base nor peak?

I was never best at racing,
I've not been in Top Ten
Exams I'm always midway,
Still failing now and then;

There's always people better,
There's always people worse;
There's always someone speedier
Who wrote their thoughts in verse.

"We're best in different areas!"
Or so the saying goes,
But there's always better people
Always wearing better clothes;

Better artists! Better writers!
Better students, bestest friends!
Better thinkers, better speakers,
Better stuff of odds and ends;

Better know-it-alls and leaders,
Better runners, swimmers, sleepers;
Better programmers and heralds,
Better sowers, better reapers;

And it's not just the betters-
That's just one half the curse;
You conscience also knows that
You're better off than worse;

Worser artists, worser writers;
Worser students, worst of friends!
Worser thinkers, Worser speakers,
Worser than can make amends;

Worse idiots and worse followers,
Worse bouncers, jokers, talkers;
Worse heretics and lovers;
Worse players, worser stalkers.

So when you're just plain average,
The loner in between;
You'll never stand out anyway:
Perhaps you're just plain mean.

Hui Jun is influencing me to write poems. o_o And, ha, I mentioned him again, so he's going to freak out. Again. Ha. XD

If you can't spot the pun in the last line something is seriously wrong with you.

Recent astrological evidence shows that one in twelve people is compatible with your personality!
The Edna Man

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Pleasantly Surprised

My MSN nick is currently "Be pessimistic! Then you can only be right, or pleasantly surprised." Jonny, upon seeing this, changed his to: "Be optimisitic! Then you'll never feel like you lost out." Then comes Hui Jun, who goes, "Be dao! That way, if anything happens, you don't care!"

Then, there's this:

Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
u noe
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
the be pessimistic thing
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
and be optimistic
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
Be pessimistic! Then you can only be right, or pleasantly surprised. says:
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
i have a better idea
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
That way
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
you can be right
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
you don't evenneed to think
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
just agree
Jarrel - Why are there random things in my ctrl C buffer?. "no its already" and "ok back" says:
and you will be inevitably be RIGHT

The Edna Man

Friday, January 25, 2008

And it's all right now...

Jumping Jack flash is a gasp gasp gasp...

Hm. I haven't blogged in a while. Time to update my public diary I guess.

MY BOOK. The DC encyclopaedia I ordered from Amazon on the night before Christmas (I'm not joking) FINALLY ARRIVED but my mom wasn't in to collect it. So after waiting a whole MONTH when it was advertised FOURTEEN DAYS I finally have to wait THREE MORE while they find the package which got lost because the postman didn't write the Article Reference Number on the collection slip which was posted in the mailbox because there wasn't anybody home to collect the parcel. That was a stupidly long sentence, wasn't it.

What else... oh yeah, my O level results. My L1 is SIX! So with CCA, Hicher Chinese and Affiliation School, my O Levels score is practically ZERO! Well, C6 is... not to say I expected it, but I didn't think I'd get a B anyhow. Pessimism rocks. I didn't think I'd get that high, and I didn't. You can only be right or pleasantly surprised. I didn't even cry. Hah. Oh yeah. I BEAT BOEY! =P K sorry.

Uh... new class. Well, 5.2's all really nice, and I'm trying to fit in and like/be liked by everyone, and I'm like the nosiest guy in class along with Jarrel Seah and Justin Poh o_o Uh but yeah, everyone's really nice, and I think we're staying as an intact class 'cos everyone got good O-Level results! Yay!

Hui Jun's got a funky new blog. It's kinda strange 'cos he's one of the few people I know outside the circles of my class. He write nice poetry, better than any adult writer, 'cos it's not complicated and people (in this case, I) can understand the point he's trying to make SO CLEARLY. Isn't that what's important in any form of presentation, making sure that your point is brought across clearly? And, oh my gosh, they actually RHYME, which is the whole point of poems in the first place, because so many other poets are phonetically impaired and can't rhyme their stanzas.

Which reminds me. I'm thinking of starting a Comedy CCA called Laugh out Loud. Think it will work? It's either that or I hold a course for teachers (or maybe students) and uh. try to propagate. the art of humour. I have no idea whether it'll work or not; just an idea for now.

I really miss GEP and 4.9, and all I'm doing now is just being in denial and pushing aside the pain by trying to be funny and trying to move on but I know it's just an illusion of the senses, a veil of humanity over my tortured soul, lost among the sould of others going the other way. Why make friends if you have to keep making new ones? Why hold someone dear when you have to move on eventually? Let no one depend on you, and likewise you depend on no one, for then you have true freedom.

Which reminds me. Siddhartha is emo. And ... is ellipsis, not --, contrary to the claims of certain teachers.

(Uh, I'm going to expound on the earlier point as an afterthought. Our CT this year said that if we wanted to change our subjects we should choose according to what we want, not because we don't like the teachers or our friends are in different classes. Well, what if what I want is to stay friends with my old classmates? Apparently, no man is an island, but we seem to need to move through friends rather quickly, don't we? On the basis that people relate based on common experiences, and we drift apart when that common experience is gone, don't all friends become acquaintences inevitably?)

Yeah, teachers. My class got some pretty awesome teachers this year, but most of them are cancelled out by some who are at the other extreme. Like ToK, Econs... English originally, but it got better. =D Chem is awesome, Physics, Math are awesome, and Chinese is just EPIC. I've never had such fun in Chinese lessons before. You know, I think this year, I might actually become interested in Chinese! *gasp*

By the way, the ToK course companion is such a good book. I finally understand what existential angst is: it's the realisation that there is nothing stopping you from killing yourself (or doing practically anything) right now except things like, societal expectations and stuff. It's kinda cool. It's so easy to understand and read...

Hmm what else. Hui Jun's really emo, 'cos he says he isn't fitting in. And the whole thing about being conscious of your unconsciousness came up again. Like, when your imagination is very active and you're conscious of the fact that an argument has three sides - your side, my side, and the right side - and when you're conscious enough to see all four sides then you start questioning your intentions to see if you're really doing them because of logical reasoning, or subconscious affecting your rationalism, or if it's your subconscious affecting your conscious to think about the subsconscious in the first place. You get the idea that it's all horribly confusing, and very... existentially angsty.

Well... yeah.
The Edna Man

Monday, January 14, 2008

Why Does Fate Hate Me So?

Stuck in eternal hell for two years.

What have I ever done to destiny that causes her to hate me?
The Edna Man

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Ambidexterity Update! #001

I've started training to become ambidexterous. So far I've practiced writing the alphabet with my left hand, using chopsticks, and using my mouse. So yeah. I'm going to get better though, then pwn Econs essays by doing two questions at the same time.

Asides from that, yeah. I've got more questions and observations about the world.

On Humour. It's actually a very amazing thing. What I've noticed is that humour is so universal to human beings. I think it's to show that "Hey, I'm not a threat, let me into your herd so I can get extra protection from predators." Almost (I mean almost; certain "enthusiastic" teachers display very little sense of humour at all) everybody uses humour almost everyday. Like, new people dumped into unfamiliar OGs. Jokes are the greatest form of acceptance. There are even people who make a living out of being funny. I've been watching a lot of Stand Up Comedy on YouTube, to get out of being emo all the time. Some of them are really quite good.

On Literature. Again I wonder why so many modern books aren't part of literary syllabus. I caught sight of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time (hope I got the title correct) being a core book in the English B syllabus. So why can't books like Dark Materials or Harry Potter be examinable as well? It'd get students more interested in Lit, for one. And there's so many similarities with them and Huck Finn. They're all controversial, difficult to read (in a sense) and are, seemingly, children's books. Maybe they just don't have the depth of all the other so called "literary works of art". Isn't that just an opinion.

On War. A poem by what'shisnameIcan'tremember about the horrors of World War One and how it was all useless to the next generation. Someone raised a point about how, in those times, soldiers were all 18 or 19 years old, too young to live through the horrors of war (most of them didn't). So I was wondering, why if 18's too young to go to war, why's it old enough to go to NS and train for war?

Memorized Thesaurus
The unnecessary, inessential, dispensable, unimportant, disposable, peripharal, redundant, superfluous, replaceable, insignificant Edna Man

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I'm From GEP and I like it that way

Way back up in the history, back in the past
Down in the classrooms where the marks surpassed
Having awesome teachers and ownage friends
Mad assignments and funky trends
That’s where I’m from and I’m proud to say
I’m from GEP and I like it that way

Everybody knows everybody, everybody calls you friend
It's the premier in education, there's nothing more that you can win
Yeah, we know how to work and we know how to play
We’re from GEP and we like it that way

All day long we do our homework
Then when it's all done we just go berserk
Mugging or LANning, we do it late into the night
And 'cos we're all just GEPs like the mainers all say (hey)
We’re from GEP and we like it that way

Everybody knows everybody, everybody calls you friend
We all hate this separation, if only GEP would never end
Yeah, we're all one family, wish it would stay
We’re from GEP and we like it that way

Everybody knows everybody, everybody calls you friend
C'mon, join the celebration, we'll party till we don't know when
Yeah, I'll say it again, though it's getting cliche
We’re from GEP
We’re from GEP
We’re from GEP and we like it that way

Parody of I'm From the Country by Tracy Byrd

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Human Nature

Another thought. I know how from Christianity humans are all sinful and stuff, but from an evolutionary standpoint human nature is perfect. It's all planned, worked out. First the basic premise: Survival above all. Then, the emotional and psychological programming which subliminates the first one so much that no one can sense it proactively. And then, all the crazy people like me, who don't care about survival anymore can all die out lonely, ensuring that the freak DNA isn't passed on to the next generation. All, again, for survival's sake.

The Edna Man

Highlights of 2007

I was just reading through my blog posts of last year. And so now I'm going to put all my angsty thoughts of yesteryear in one place.

"I don't expect any help. Come on, this is Singapore."

So let's all shut up now. Even if it's wrong, or we don't believe or agree with it, keep it to yourself. Let the unjust go unspoken; let the problem go unsaid. Children should be seen and not heard. Everything that is disagreeable, or contrary, or different, just keep quiet. Silence for survival; survival above all.

A sock is a symbol, as is the act of not buying it. Symbols are given power by people. A symbol, in and of itself is powerless, but with enough people behind it, not buying a pair of socks can change the world.

Put the notes together and you get the melody of my life.

I guess that's why people with new ideas, who go against the flow, always feel so alone. When you're going the opposite way from everyone else, it sure is creepy.

What made you continue when nobody believed in you?

Why don't we all just work with the system, who cares about the flaws, accept that life is what it is, screw creativity, screw progress, screw point of view.

Why is it when kids do it it's wrong, but when adults do it, it's alright?

Nations become extremely closed-minded and unreceptive to new ideas, isolating themselves and then warring when they can't resolve their bipolar conflicts.

If you wanted to be so damn uniform about it, why not just plug up everybody in this whole damn universe to a gigantic pulsing brain so that IT controls everything and everything and everyone will be exactly the SAME. Why must you humiliate, shun, repremand me, just because I am different?

If one could ignore everything else the book was trying to say, about life and religion and the quantum theory; about multipule universes and the original sin; about knives and compasses and spyglasses and honesty and trust and belief; then we'd be left with the most important thing of all: Love. And everything else would be inconsequential; what would matter most would be human being's ability to love.

I've gotten started thinking again, but I'm not going to put it here 'cos then people like Juzzie and Kwong are going to say I'm angsty again and etc.


You know what? I don't think anybody really likes me. They're just putting up with me because they have to. After all this is over, and they don't have to be with me anymore, it's the perfect chance to get away, forget about everything else, only pay attention to new friends and forget the old ones.

I guess that's what I really hate about splitting friends. They ignore you for the rest of your life. Newer, better friends. It's like having a family member disown you.

Wonder what it's like to have a real family.
The Edna Man

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Ohana Means Family

It means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.
The Edna Man

Friday, January 04, 2008

It's kinda like a story in verses of different songs.

Forever and ever
Is a very long time Pooh
Forever isn't long at all
When I'm with you

Together forever, no matter how long
From now until the end of time
We'll be together and you can be sure
That forever and a day
That's how long we'll stay
Together and forever more

Til' the end I will be with you,
We will go where our dreams come true,
All the times that we have been through,
You will always be my best friend...

And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

Close your eyes, give me your hand.
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?

Wise men say,
Only fools rush in.
But, I can't help
falling in love with you.
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin,
If I, I can't help
Falling in love with you?

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

First we touch, and we hurt each other
Then we tear our hearts apart
We are too close and I can feel the pain
Fill my empty heart

Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone
But there's nothing I can say
to change the things I've done
I'd do anything within my power
I'd give everything I've got
But the path I seek is hidden
from me now

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give ev'rything I own
Just to have you back again

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz' I know I won't forget you

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay

I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins, going to waste.
And I need to feel, real love
And a life ever after.
I cannot get enough.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

It's kinda like a story in verses of different songs.
The Edna Man

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

My life is hell

Life sucks.

But that's life isn't it? Deal with it. A whole series of 'Deal with it."s until you die.

People talk about anthropology. Going to the same cafe and every day for a couple months, and just look at people. Takes me just one day to see that orientation is just primitivity in disguise. I read the Midnighters trilogy (sans book two) recently. All this stuff we're doing, is just the same tribal things the cavemen used to do: accepting newcomers into their tribe, fostering the sense of safety in numbers, exhibiting the humiliation and danger of not being one of the pack. Bloody conformists.

There's so many things I had in my head that I've lost track of them all and have no idea how to put into words. There was something about separation, and how our class was more like a family to me than my relatives; something about me being the screwed up one not supposed to be in the world; something about me being conscious enough to acknowledge that all this is some stupid cry for attention or something. Ignorance is bliss.

I'm probably going to become a writer when I grow up, if I live that long. Which means I probably don't need to go to school anymore. I am pretty damn sure that you can learn everything and more, on the Internet. More than school will teach you. I have a feeling that in the future, that's what people will be doing: Internet schooling. You can have a class full of friends, going up all the way from K1 to Uni. Friends forever. Friends... forever.

Friends are my only angels, and I'm going to lose them all.
The Edna Man

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Just Some Thoughts

I dunno why I feel compelled to write again. Maybe I really don't believe in my opening paragraph in the post five minutes ago.

First: blog titles. I don't know if you've noticed, or if you're one of those people that don't write titles, but blog title-rs tend to make sure that they don't repeat their titles? Is it something conscious, or is it just because people are changing every day that even when they write about the same thing the title's different? It's just like the chapters of a book.

Second: new classes. Tomorrow, new school, new classes, new people to make friends with. I guess if you're someone like Michael Wee and you have like, friends of friends of friends of friends halfway across the globe, thousands and millions of people, acquaintances, relations, then you'll be comfortable about all this. I'm feeling that even though I have fewer friends, I like, treasure, appreciate them much more than some people like, who have church or have friends outside school/class/Singapore. Like, all those links on the sidebar, they're going to have new names, names of people I don't know, newer people, further away. And even now, people have started drifting apart, discarding and ignoring old friends in favour of new ones. I feel even more like a drifter, just wandering through life without close companionship, people just being people, coming close, then shooting off somewhere else where they belong.

Maybe that's who I'm supposed to be.

Thirdly: parentals. I got kinda uh... pissed last night 'cos of stuff adults tend to say that just pisses kids (well, me) off. I mean, they're always talking about how well-trained you are. Like dogs, like pets. "Oh, he's washing the dishes! He's so well trained!" Haiz. Like all we're brought in life to do is to serve adults.

Chapters of Life
The Edna Man

Happy New Year, I guess

Wow, it's been so long since I blogged. For some reason, I don't feel like writing much anymore. It's just so... words can't get close enough to whatever I'm feeling to express it properly. I'm still going to blog, I guess; 'cos someone reminded me that memories are important; they can't beat the real thing, but they're better than nothing.

I guess I need to update. It feels so long since Jonas' Pirates Marathon, but so fast too. I've had an operation, removed my adenoids, experienced anesthesia (which was darn cool). I've watch Golden Compass and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember. I've been playing Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom. I've wrapped Christmas presents for class party and I really hate splitting up.

Let's Make A Resolution
I'll Drink To That
Let's Always Stay Friends
Tho' We May Have Our Disputes
This Family Tree's Got Deep Roots
Friendship Is Thicker Than Blood
That Depends

Depends On Trust
Depends On True Devotion
Depends On Love
Depends On Not Denying Emotion

It's Gonna Be A Happy New Year
I Guess
It's Gonna Be A Happy New Year
You're Right
It's Gonna Be A Happy New Year

Yeah, right.

I've recently been introed to Steven Wright, stand-up comedian. Man is he good. It's wit; pure, sharp, unadulterated wit. It's genius. Like a peripheral visionary: seeing into the future but way off to the sides.

"I ended up playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

Happy New Year, I guess
The Edna Man