Friday, March 27, 2009

Comic Life

I just experienced something at dinner tonight. See, my dad took the bus to work today; normally he drives. My brother asked him why, and he says that he takes the bus to work when he's late; his office is undergoing renovations and the car park space is halved, so if he's late it's so much more convenient for him to take the bus. So when I heard that, I said, "Life is weird." So my parents as me why, and I say, "When dad's late, he takes the bus. When we're late..."

Aside from the fact that it's one of the few times I actually made my parents laugh, I felt really good about it and I just had this urge to repeat the joke sometime in the next few minutes of conversation. But I knew that you just can't do it again, because most jokes are one-time-deals, and it's worthless repeating the same joke to the same audience within a short span of time. It's useless because they're not unsuspecting anymore.

And you see how the above two paragraphs relate to life. People only like to talk about what they're interested in, which is the reason for the explanatory paragraph leading up to the punchline. Comedy is all about timing, and when the moment passes, it's often a good idea to give up the joke for the time being. Which is why you should learn to be opportunistic, and keep the timing of everything in consideration. Repeated jokes have no kick; people get bored with repetition, even in things like the personalities of their friends. So the comedian keeps coming up with new ideas to keep things fresh.

Life's a laugh anyhow,
The Edna man

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Right to Vote

I still haven't found anything more suitable, so here it is again.

"It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."
--Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Perhaps you can ponder this quote over as you mull over the idea of the limits (or lack thereof) of human greed. Like they've never seen a burger before. Then there's old Chinese women who lived in mountain who've never seen a car before. Or little African kids who've never seen a digital camera (or even themselves) before.

But well, that's life for you. And democracy.
The Edna Man

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dream Sequence #002

Okay, hey, I just woke up from doing my math portfolio, and I had another awesome-ish dream that I don't want to forget.

If I remember correctly the Joker managed to capture a bunch of superheroes but I can't remember where or when or what for. I do remember it was in some wooden crate thing and all he was using to keep them in there was some demoralizing taunts. So there's this whole bunch of superheroes stuck in the wooden crate but one of them, a girl with completely blue skin (I don't have details; don't ask me) isn't affected by the demoralization and slips out "disguised" as Harlequin. I say "disguised" because she wasn't wearing different from her original costume (which looked like one of Santa's elves except it was red, not green - but heck, I'm colourblind). So in the corridor she meets the Joker and her "disguise" works; the Joker asks who she is, and she replies that she's Harlequin. Then (I remember this very distinctly) the Joker bends over to sniff her, and says, "Well, you do smell like Harlequin... off you go then." So she roams around the lair, which is (I think) some modern castle with marble handrails and stairs and solid oaken doors, and she's rummaging around the place for clues and stuff. I can't remember exactly but I have a vague idea of Joker's plans to do something with packaged food. So little blue elf girl is sneaking around and I remember she narrowly avoids another face-to-face with the Joker while darting down a corridor. Then the whole cinematic tension-building scene where she runs through rooms and corridors until she reaches an area which looks like a delivery area full of plain white delivery trucks and large blue vats of dark liquid, which is in darker shades (dark blues, clinical colours, etc.) than in the other parts of the dream, and she swerves around another confrontation with the Joker by avoiding eye-contact and slipping into the shadow of a nearby pillar and walking in the shadows (a la Golden Sun Cloak Ball Psynergy) annd I remember hearing something about "Yes Mr. Joker, the delivery is in place..." or something like that. But when she gets to the dark blue double doors and bursts through them, the Joker is standing there with Two-Face, and they both look sad; Two-Face is leaning on the Joker's shoulder and crying. I can't remember what the Joker said at this juncture but it was something about how disappointed he was with Harley for something, but then he pulls out a gun, so little blue elf girl starts running past him into a large room with a black-and-white mosiac tiling on the floor. All this is in first-person view at this point, so she hears the gunshot and she turns round to look; at the same time flipping backwards (Matrix style) so that the bullet just misses her and as she lands on the floor she catches the bullet, which is considerably more like a silver ammunition shell than a tiny bullet. So as she was lying there on the floor with the cold bullet in her hands and the sounds of sobbing echoing off the walls, I woke up.

Wouldn't it be cool if I just psychically saw some upcoming DC comics issue?
The Edna Man

Saturday, March 14, 2009


Happy Birthday by Weird Al Yankovic
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what's the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, we'll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger's on the button, all they need it an excuse

It doesn't take a military genius to see
We'll all be crispy critters after World War III
There's nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried

(Come on boys and girls, sing along, ok?)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
wow! (background screaming, sound effect)

Well there's a punk in the alley and he's looking for a fight
There's an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There's a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there's misery and greed

I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

(Happy Birthday!)

And a pinch to grow an inch!

Friday, March 13, 2009

On the Brink

It's Friday the Thirteenth, the one just before my birthday.

Tomorrow I'll be eighteen. This is probably the last moment I'm can be a juvenile delinquent, or sneak into a M18 movie illegally. The last moment before I start getting drunk, or driving (or both), or smoking, or taking dru- no wait that's illegal whatever age you are. Uhh, before I start having sex or getting married or childbirth (oh wait that's not for me). The last moment I can be a little boy, or think and act weird and interesting because society doesn't let adults do that. Far beyond getting children's price at restaurants and buffets, and the last moment I have leglistative immunity from being a child soldier. The last chance at Hogwarts sending my invitation letter, and to be young and sweet, like a Dancing Queen. The end of years of haiku syllables, and of distinct wallpaper groups, and of fashion magazines.

So once that clock strikes twelve, in three seconds, I'm- oh, it's twelve.

Damn, I'm old.
The Edna Man

Sunday, March 08, 2009


Boredom and monotony are the mothers of discovery. And this is what I discovered while doing my ToK essay:

Once again, I marvel at the brilliance of human ingenuity. And I laugh in the face of the people who look down on Midi music; this is all driven by a Midi file. Absolutely amazing. It's like a combination of Rube Goldberg machines, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and One-Man Bands all rolled into one. Brilliant. Go check out the others if and when you've got the time, or need to distract yourself from work.

Pipe dreams,
The Edna Man

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

The Billion Dollar Question

I have just finished reading the book Q&A, reprinted as Slumdog Millionaire because of recent silver screen popularity. How did I find it?

a) I picked it up off the floor.
b) With a bloodhound and a magnifying glass.
c) Using a GPS and Google Maps.
d) Absolutely brilliant.

It is my great fortune to have been able to finish yet another unparalleled piece of storytelling. This novel by Vikas Swarup has completely blown me away. Aside from the insights it gives us about modern India, which I cannot claim anything about because I don't know how accurate the depiction is, it does show us a lot about human nature and life in general. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I love the plot twists. There's even a cipher in one of the chapters. This book has everything.

Because luck comes from within,
The Edna Man

Monday, March 02, 2009

Lost Generation

Lost Generation by Jonathan Reed

I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within.”
is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy.”
So in 30 years I will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
is more important than
I tell you this
Once upon a time
Families stayed together
but this will not be true in my era
This is a quick fix society
Experts tell me
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it.


Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Which generation do you belong to?
The Edna Man

Sunday, March 01, 2009

The Secret to Success

Yes, I've finally figured it out. It's not whatever all those grown-ups or principals or self-help books tell you. It's very simple actually, and everyone can do it.

You see, when I was doing my EE, I realized that I got distracted very easily and went to do other stuff to procrastinate. So I managed to do a whole lot of stuff, but my EE took very long to do.


All you have to do to succeed in life is to find an immensely monotonous, long-term project which is VERY IMPORTANT. By putting it at the top of your "Things To Do" list, your procrastinative tendencies will ensure that all your other goals and work gets done, because they look more interesting by comparison. Voila!

Okay, now I should probably go do my English outline.

The Edna Man