Wednesday, June 22, 2005


[Quote of the post]
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. -Jay Leno

Humour is always based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? -Dick Clark

Wrinkles only go where smiles have been. -Jimmy Buffett

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me a person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. -Julia Roberts

Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have. -Jerry Sienfield

Thats the key to comedy: allowing yourself to look stupid. -Megan Mullally

If you can find humour in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. -Bill Cosby

Part of what makes us a human being is the imperfections. Like, you wouldn't give a robot my ears. -Will Smith

One doesn't have a sense of humour. It has you. -Larry Gelbart

[Song of the post] Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make em' laugh! -Some old Groucho Marx movie I can't remember

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. -Tim Allen

When I eventually met Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was Always. -Rita Runder

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice. -Bill Cosby

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. -Roseanne Barr

I always wanted to be the last man on earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me. -Ronnie Shakes

A man in love in incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. -Bob Hope

Money won't buy you friends, but will get you a better class of enemy. -Spike Milligan

Imagine if there were no hypothetical situations. -John Mendoza

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. -Thom SHarp

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, and the tallest guy in the National Basketball Association is Chinese. -Chris Rock

This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a president, we get two choices. But when we have to select Miss America, we get 50. -Jay Leno

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. -Fran Lebowitz

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. -Jeff Valdez

Times fun when you're having flies. -Kermit the Frog

The trouble with the rat race is that even though you win, you're still a rat. -Lily Tomlin

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him how to fish, and you can get rid of him for the weekend. -Zenna Schaffer

It's not that I'm afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens. -Woody Allen

If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone, come sit by me. -Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them. -Bette Milder

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. -Mae West

Deep down, I'm pretty superficial. -Ava Gardener

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time. -Marilyn Monroe

I just recently had my Visa card stole. Now it's everywhere I want to be. -Scott Wood

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. -H. L. Mencken

I drink to make other people interesting. -George Jean Nathan

Have you noticed that everyone drinving faster than you is a lunatic, and everybody driving slower than you is an idiot? -George Carlin

Instant gratification takes too long. -Carrie Fisher

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? -Robin Williams

I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. -Henny Youngman

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. -Jerry Seinfield

Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance? -Phyllis Diller

When you're eight years old, nothing is your business. -Lenny Bruce

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. -Dick Cavett

When I was born, I was so surprise I couldn't talk for a year and a half. -Gracie Allen

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you've given birth. -Erma Bombeck

Men who have pierced ears are better suited for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. -Rita Rudner

If God meant us to be naked, he would have made our skin fit better. -Maureen Murphy

If a woman has to chose between catching a baseball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. -Dave Barry

The trouble with jogging is that the ice cfalls out of your glass. -Martin Mull

Football combines the two worst features of American life: violence and committee meetings. -George Will

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. -Rodney Dangerfield

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. -Robert Wilensky

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. -Sam Levenson

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? -Vince Lombardi

What's another word for thesaurus? -Steven Wright

If convenience stores are open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks on them? -Gallagher

In sum...
I really didn't say everything I said. -Yogi Berra

Phew. Haven't blogged for a while. -Uncle Edna

Monday, June 06, 2005

First you got to Colorado... Denver. Because Ver is braver and Boulder... Episode VI

[Quote of the post] We don't wanna spon with you!
[Song of the post] Dum de dum dum...

Day 6 - D-Day
This was technically our last day in Colorado. In the morning was spontaneous, and over breakfast we were spawning - sorry, I meant sponning - random things like, "If I were a fork, what would I say?" That sort of thing.

We went to the holding room and waited for half an hour - we thought we were in the wrong room. During our wait, the official there had some sort of introductory game to break the monotony - basically, your team went down to the front and introduced yourselves by name. Well, we had a little time to think while we were just sitting there, so we came up with - obviously - punny stuff.

Job: Hi! I'm Noddy! Audience: Hi, Noddy!
Isaac: I'm on drugs! Audience: High on drugs!
Henry: I'm five! Audience: High five!
Joshua: I'm Bond. Covalent Bond. Audience: Hi Bond... Covalent Bond...
Me: I'm how are you! Audience: Hi! How are you! Me: Fine, thanks!
Herrick: I'm sexy! Audience: Hey, sexy!
Gid: I'm Fi-System! Audience: Hi-Fi System!

Stupid, yeah... >_> but it broke the monotony...

Anyway, our spontaneous problem was weird. Basically, you're given a bunch of junk, and you ise it to make a scene. Then, you're given 7 minutes to tell a story based on that scene. You're given 5 cards each, and each time you speak you put a card in the container and MUST move something in the scene.

We did pretty well for that, I think. Isaac was in denail, be we still thought we did pretty well.

After that we just went around supporting other S'pore teams. Then we had a bit of free time. Herrick and I were aiming to go to another dorm across campus to trade pins - but, the only other shuttle bus service didn't go there. Dang.

We spent some time and 50 cents on the planetarium. There wasn't a show that day, so... unfortunately. They were doing maintanence work. Pah. I bet they were sabotaging it so that the moon crashed into Jupiter or something.

We then went back to our dorm and found our buddy team had returned from wherever they had went that afternoon. We talked and I found out a lot of interesting things about the US. We checked out our buddy team's homework, and realised that it's MORE FUN THAN OURS! >_> In maths they're doing something called Logic that looks so fun it makes trig look boring. (BTW, they've already DONE trig.)

Thet night was the closing ceremony and announcement of the champions. We were very excited when our name wasn't called during the 2nd to 6th placing. It meant that we would most probably be first. But we were devastated when our name wasn't called for the first place. I can't even remember who won. That's the thing: when you lose an international competition after putting your heart and soul into it for six months, you don't remember who beat you to it. Unless you WANT to know about it and you have nukes and missiles and a huge orbital ion cannon hovering in space above them, you're really not interested.

The teens party later that night wasn't very appealing. The music was too loud and the place was too dark. And they had lined the floor with bubble wrap, as if they were going to hit their head on it when they woke in the middle of the night or something. It felt like I was walking across a minefield. We went back to celebrate with our buddy team, because THEY WON 1ST PLACE IN THE WORLD!!!

Yes, that's right, they won. We were SO happy for them. Their amazing and unique performance pulled through and got them a humongous shiny trophy. Whee! I think we only slpet at 1am that night.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

First you got to Colorado... Denver. Because Ver is braver and Boulder... Episode V

[Quote of the post] *kzzt*
[Song of the post] *bzzt*

Day 5 - Judgement Day
That morning was a hectic one. We rushed to the holding area early in the morning, to practise and reherse moving in. Unfortunately, we only did it once before it was our turn. Which didn't really matter; I was anxious to get started anyway.

Our coaches went off to get seats in the audience. They appeared very calm, like there wasn't an international competition championship at stake. That's the beauty of teachers. They have the uncanny ability to appear perfectly calm in the most hectic situations.

However, something happened backstage that proved our downfall. The judge backstage said that two of our style items were already being judged somewhere else, and so we needed different style items. We got two different ones, but... (For more information, see later episodes.)

Well, we moved from the holding area to the starting position, and what a sight met our eyes. Our buddy team was there, wearing the Singapore T-shirts we gave them last night, and so were most of the ACS contingent, as well as some RGS girls (this I heard of after the competition).

I lost most of my nervousness at this point. I could tell that Josh, who was standing next to me, was positively rattled, but I was calm as can be. I don't know why, but it's the pre-show I get nervous. I NEVER get stage fright. NEVER.

The performance went off without a hitch (as in, nobody got married >_>). Everything went smoothly. We had the audience laughing so much, that after we finished, they gave us a standing ovation. Wow. Quite rare, that.

After the performance I was on a high for about an hour. I always was like that after performances, jist like the nationals. Only OM has managed to do that for me.

Then, not meaning to boast or anything, but we had people coming up to us on the street, members of our audience; they just kept coming up and telling us how good we were. There was this coach of another ACS team's buddy team, she talked to me for about a quarter of an hour about how good we were, and how she has never seen this sort of energy, etc. Wow again.

We spent the rest of the day watching other ACS teams perform and pin-trading. Never can forget pin-trading.

That night we practised spontaneous with our buddy team. Of course, they spent an hour talking to us about our play, but, as Job always says, that is not the point.

Their coaches got two spontaneous problems ready. (Our coaches were exhausted, so we let them sleep.) One hands-on and a verbal. Our buddy team did the hands-on first while we did the verbal, then we would switch places and watch how the other team did.

Our verbal went pretty well, and I had an interesting answer without meaning to. As in, I had trouble remembering what I was going to say, and was casting around for something to say, when I caught sight of a bear on somebody's shirt. I just said, "A bear can't catch a baldness disease, because... then... it would... be... umm... bear." And I think I got good for that. (The problem, was, by the way, Name an animal and a disease it would be bad to catch. For example, it would be bad for an elephant to catch a head cold.)

For hands-on, we used exactly the same idea our buddy team used. Conicidence? I think not. >_> {Cue the Dah da DAHHHH!}

Saturday, June 04, 2005

First you got to Colorado... Denver. Because Ver is braver and Boulder... Episode IV

[Quote of the post] >_>
[Song of the post] >.>

Day 4 - The Buddy Team's Performance
Today was SMASHING! (Oh, I fired that stupid Private Eye. Didn't like his style of writing.) Our buddy team's performance was totally our of this world! Actually it was on this world, in Colorado, so let me tell you about it.

They did In Your Dreams, and let me tell you, first, that the judges had a weird way of saying they were ready. See, the Head judge would ask if the judges were ready, then ask if the team was ready. So the judges would say, "Dream on!" which was really weird. For our problem, it was, "Leave a message after the beep. BEEP." and for the Div III Get the Message it was "Where's the monster?" Then the head judge would say, "Guys, this isn't In your Dreams... didn't you guys get the message?" >_>

Well, our buddy team's performance was themed around racism. And the monster fed on fear, and stuff. But however, they adopted an a la Stomp type of performance, and didn't say a word. I mean, that REALLY got their message across. It was unique, it was original, it was creative, it was exactly what (I think) the OM judges wanted. (P.S. To any buddy team members or coaches who chanced upon this blog: that's exactly what I told you guys, and that's exactly the truth, so you're not getting another word out of me, coppers! =))

Basically after that we went back to our dorm to finish up the props. We finished at about 8pm in the evening. Our buddy team coach then very helpfully offered to drop our props off at the centre in his rented SUVs. Such nice folks, now, you've gotta learn to be like them. HEAR THAT, ALL YOU SINGAPOREANS?

We slept late that night, even though we had to wake up early the next day. We did last minute backdrop construction, light attachment, TV frame fixing, etc. I think I didn't bathe that night; I was too tired when I got back.

First you got to Colorado... Denver. Because Ver is braver and Boulder... Episode III

[Quote of the post] Bah.
[Song of the post] Bah again.

Day 3 - The Day of Ice-cream (Sunday!)
Right, see. My name's Tective. D. Tective. And I've been assigned with writing a report of this day. Totally classified information, of course, so get ready the greenbacks while you're reading this thing.

That day was basically building props and repairing backdrops and, simply, putting back together what we had dismantled on the flight there. Gets a bit haggard, see? What with all the hammers and saws and duct tape we managed to smuggle through the customs, plus glue, there was more work than a 2.12 classroom. Not that that actually says anything, really.

Our buddy team arrived at about lunch. Looked like a friendly bunch, but who knows. This Private Eye job gets you somewhat paranoid about strangers, y'know? Who knows? They could have been wanted by Interpol for the past six years. You just never know.

I took the liberty in drawing up these very simple police dossiers, just in case.

Name: Matt (surname unknown)
Most commonly used phrase: Bobo! (whatever that means)
Age: Div II
Description: Matt doesn't talk very much, but when he does, it's almost always Voot Voot Yah!

Name: Sara (surname withheld to protect privacy)
Most commonly used phrase: NO!
Age: Div II
Description: Umm... no distinguishing features I can make out. No very distinguishing features, but I'm very sure she has her own special talents.

Name: Keith (surname unknown)
Most commonly used phrase: Not sure, but he knows the "I'm my own Grandpa" song
Age: Div II
Description: Tall, thin, and wears glasses (sometimes)m Keith is a lot like me in the group. He knows the "I'm my own Grandpa" song, and the whole team knows the Beer/Coke/Twinkie parody of Do-Re-Mi from Sound of Music.

Name: Laura (surname unknown)
Most commonly used phrase: N/A (At least, none that I know of)
Age: Div II
Description: Laura is the most quiet of the group. I didn't get to speak to her much, so little information was gathered.

Name: Allison (surname unknown)
Most commonly used phrase: N/A (At least, none that I know of)
Age: Div II
Description: Allison, a.k.a. Alli, is like a mix of Laura and Sara: Not very talkative, and not very distingushing. >.>

Name: Lindsay (surname withheld to protect privacy)
Most commonly used phrase: MICAH!
Age: Div II
Description: Has relationship problems with Micah (see below). Basically Micah grosses Lindsay out and she retaliates. Then he retaliates back. But I think they're just having their fun, you know, from a detective's point of view.

Name: Micah (surname unknown)
Most commonly used phrase: *CENSORED*
Div II
Description: Has relationship problems with Lindsay (see above).Basically Micah grosses Lindsay out and she retaliates. Then he retaliates back. But I think they're just having their fun, you know, from a detective's point of view.

Well, to sum it up, our buddy team was one of the best you could ever find, maybe even better than that. There were tremendous similarities between their team and ours, like the fact that Lindsay was just short enough to be the target of friendly teasing, just like we do with Henry. What fun.

In the afternoon the buddy team went to repair props that had been damaged, just like what we had to do. More vague memories of this time delude me, and I cannot remember much. Thus we can conclude that it must not have been very important, or that a passing mugger hit me on the head with a cudgeon too hard. A Private Eye's job is never an easy one.

Friday, June 03, 2005

First you got to Colorado... Denver. Because Ver is braver and Boulder... Episode II

[Quote of the post] I'm skipping this because it technically follows the previous post.
[Song of the post] This too.

Day 2 - The Day of Reckoning
What happened on the second day? Ah, I'm... losing words... (-Premir Romanov, Red Alert 2)

Herrick woke us up at about 5 am that day. Which meant that instead of the targeted half an hour I planned for getting ready for breakfast, I now had one and a half hours to get ready for breakfast. Naturally I was done in one-third of that time, so we - that is to say, Herrick, Job and I - went for a walk.

The walk was nothing much. Just around the block and back, into the field, blowing dandelions and commenting on the grass which was so different from Singapore grass. The ground was so cold you'd swear it was wet when you lay down on it, but when you touched the back of your shirt it was dry. I think Mr Quek and Josh tried to jog all the way to where we were supposed to perform, but only managed half the distance.

After breakfast we went to rackey our performing stage - thus, the day of reckoning. We spent about fifteen minutes at on stage thinking that it would be ours when we realised it was just the stage in the holding room. Our real stage had no boundaries, so no 80 POINT PENALTY! (Sorry, just had to do that. It's the penalty you get if you or some prop falls off the stage.)

But this posed a new problem. The main element of our play meant that we had to change behind our backdrop but there was not enough space if we hanted enough acting space onstage. The judges were so close you could reach out and smack them on the cheek, but that was not a wise idea to do to someone who held the decision of life or death over your puny actor's/actress's shoulders.

We followed the other teams to their acting stages because we had to stay in a group. That's the main element in OM - teamwork. It was cool traversing all over the university campus and trading pins (more of which I will talk of at the end of the whole thing).

After lunch, I can't remember what we did. I told you, I can't remember mst of what happened on this day at all. It's like aliens abducted me and erased my memory of that day because I had spotted their spaceship or something. Or maybe it was the MIB. I fear that I may never remember what happened furing that space in time. Sigh.

I think on the second night was the opening ceremony. That was a whole lot of fun, with great music, officials throwing T-shirts into the crowd and pin-trading. (Pin-trading is one of the basic FUNdamentals in OM, so it'll come up a lot.) Unfortunately, the speakers were not humourous as I expected them to be (it isa creative competition, after all) but otherwise it went smoothly. It's quite fun to see halk a thousand teenagers do the YMCA dance deliriously while participating in it as well.

We had to walk the way home. It's fun to walk back to your dorm which is a hundred miles away in the dark while people are whizzing by on the shuttle bus sleeping or settling down comfortably. Still, it beats waiting for the bus.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

First you got to Colorado... Denver. Because Ver is braver and Boulder...

[Quote of the post] You think this is over? There's still next year... {cue thunder and lightning}
[Song of the post] The Beer/Coke/Twinkie Song

We're back from Colorado and let me tell you people, it was really great, and everything was just... PEACHY! It's blogging time!

Day 1 - The Longest Day
Well, it WAS the longest day. We reached the airport at 5am in the morning and only reached our destination at 5pm at night. On the same day. But we spent at least 18 hours in between. No, your maths isn't wrong. We went westwards, so gained a day.

Nothing much happened the first day. I think I watch more movies out of cinemas than in them. On the plane(s), I watched The Incredibles again and Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Job was playing with somebody's gameboy and I was watching.

Unfortunate Events was quite interesting, as it turned out. I don't read the books, but it seems quite interesting. Jim Carrey is the best when it comes to jobs like this. Love the work of the make-up artists. The best. (For a full review of the Incredibles, check previous posts.)

I slept most of the flight(s). Flying UA is so boring when you've got no personal TV. Bah. I didn't even write TNN like I said I would.

Colorado is pretty neat. It's cool, hot only in the daytime. I fell asleep on the bus ride to the University... AGAIN!I usually fall asleep on the bus rides in America.

We spent 1 hour guarding the bags outside the University hostels while Ms Loh went to register. Mr Quek went trigger-happy and took dozens of photos of us in various... how should I say... unusual poses. You don't want to see them. Really, you don't want to. Really.

I can't really remember what happened that night. Actually, I don't think much did. We waited and waited, finally realised that we were at the wrong end of the complex, dragged all the luggage half-way across campus, got our free-food wristbands (red) and had dinner in half an hour before the cafeteria closed. Then we all met in my room (a disadvantage of having the biggest room) and was briefed by our coaches, and Mr Quek introduced a fine system. No, as in, he had to fine people, not that the system was fine. Well, actually, it would have been, if it had worked. (Based on a system of trust-payment, obviously nobody admitted to any of the crimes, namely: swearing, shouting and insulting team members.)

I was bunking with Job and Herrick. Not the best combination, I can tell you that. If you recall the OEP post, Herrick says "goodnight" once every five minutes, bounced all over his air-mattress and wakes up at dawn (5am if I'm not mistaken) and then wakes everybody else up.

Job, on the other hand, makes weird noises and goes on complaining about his pin collection (Herrick does this too). Also, he's most usually in the company of the RGS teams in his free time.

But otherwise, the room was nice, the top bunk was nice and the roommates were not too bad. Except for the fact that every time I sat up in bed, my head hit the ceiling or the blasted pipe which somebody (a previous occupant of the room) had written in very neat handwriting: "I love you guys." So the first thing I did when we unpacked the props and stuff was to recycle the bubble wrap and cover the whole HEPP pipe with the stuff. My forehead never hurt again. Not much, anyway.

More coming soon!