Saturday, March 12, 2011

Tirade (Parody)

Tirade, parody of Grenade by Bruno Mars

Ferry comes, ferry goes; every single week
Oh, paint, paint, paint it all; stripes across the cheek
Should've known you was trouble from the field camp
When you stunned my rifle; why stun my rifle?

Followed what you said and you still treat me like trash
You let me get heat rash, you did
To book us out on time is all we ever asked
But what I don't understand is

I threw the grenade for ya
Dug shellscrape with my spade for ya
I drank cordial lemonade for ya
I have to do everything for ya

I spent my whole BMT
Just high kneeling on my bad knee
And what did you do for me, sergeant?
You gave me extra: three

No, no, no, no

Knock, knock, knock it down, pump me 'til I'm dead
Told the OC; I said, "Hey, is this guy right inside the head?"
Mad sergeant, sad sergeant, why you have no life?
You make me RT and then you make me clean my wife

Right after route march then you made us SOC
You treat us like trainees, yes you did
To let us have some sleep is all we ever asked
But what I don't understand is

I water parade for ya
Never stood in the shade for ya
I made myself not downgrade for ya
Yes I'm doing everything for ya

When I go through all this pain
What the hell is going through your brain?
It's only for two years, sergeant
Why be so inhumane?

If I jumped out of the fire
Ooh, you'd catch me with the frying pan
Leaders supposed to inspire
But you never, ever, ever did

But sergeant, I still manned the blockade for ya
Area cleaned like a maid for ya
I do my work underpaid for ya
You make me do everything for ya

If war does come to our nation
This is my only consolation
If I must die for my country
I'll make sure you do the same

Yes, make you do the same
I'll make you do the same
Ooh, you better do the same
Yes, yes, yes, yes


Honestly, I wrote this simply because I was surprised how many rhymes for "grenade" there actually are. I don't know any screwed up sergeants.

Girl, you're amazing; you're a superstar
The Edna Man


Why do we love?

What is this emotion that powers us through the very essence of our being and propels us through life? Why is it so incomprehensible, so intangible, so incorrigible, so integral, so inexplicable? What is this primal phenomenon that courses through the very fibre of humanity, and is the root of our very existence? Why is it, that when you tunnel to the core of any human situation on Earth, there you will find a soul who is afraid to be alone?

Why does every story on this planet revolve around love? What makes it so compelling that whole industries can be founded on creating stories about love? Is it something that they put into their cast, their characters, that makes them come alive, that makes unreality become reality?

Then, why do we love others who fall in love?

How powerful is this force, that can cause one to love someone who isn't even real? How can you feel for people who don't even exist? Where are these people so I can meet them, talk to them, fall in love with them?

Is it a transferrence of emotion, or maybe a conversion? Or maybe it's the only way in this world to create something from nothing.

Needless to say, I enjoyed Toradora! a lot.

"There is something in this world that no one has ever seen before. It is gentle and sweet. Maybe if it could be seen, everyone would fight over it. That is why the world hid it, so that no one could get their hands on it so easily. However, someday, someone will find it. The person who deserves it the most will definitely find it.

"That is how it is created."
The Edna Man

EDIT: Oh, that's why.