Pick-Up Lines for Muggers, Part IV: Physics
1. Ever since you came here, you've inverted the population, causing me to have a spontaneous emission. (Credit: Ernest)
2. You won't need a compound microscope to see my simple telescope.
3. If I were a light ray, I'd diffuse through your thin slit anyday.
4. Let's go back to my place and make some simple harmonic motion.
5. Are your legs tired? 'Cos you've been accelerating around my head at 9.8 m/s all day.
6. I wish you were the image distance, so I could be the object distance and v all over u.
7. I must be looking through a convex lens, 'cos the image I see is real, magnified and upright!
8. I'll increase my frequency if you can increase my amplitude.
9. You'd light up my life, if you were a monochromatic coherent light source on a disc with angular momentum of 3.14 rad/s shining on a diffraction grating which is then incident on a thin slit in front of a cathode ray oscilloscope measuring your intensity.
10. You're so hot, I don't think I can take you with my low specific heat capacity.
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"Dreams are a testament to human creativity. If your subconscious minds can make up a story so vivid and captivating that it can give us a good show while we're asleep, there's no limit to what we can create. All that remains now is to bring that creativity forward from the subconscious." --Quoth the Raven (nevermore)
I had an awesome dream this morning. I had to get a number of tattoos (for medical reasons). They were all done by one of my uncles, and they all looked more like company logos than tattoos: square, and multicoloured. I remember that there also about five or six of them, about 10cm a side, which all would not have fit on my arm normally, but I seem to recall flipping through a book-like thing to see all of them. Problem is, after the tattoos were done I suddenly remembered that tattoos weren't allowed in school (fancy that). So I asked my uncle if these were permanent and he said, "Yes, those are permanent, 'cos I didn't put the Dettol." Well, so now I've got some reality-defying tattoos on my left arm and I've got to go to school. Or maybe I was already in school, 'cos I remember walking past the Auditorium on the 4th floor (with Ernest, who had appeared from I have no idea where) and a teacher (I can't remember his name, but I know who it is) called me over and said that I wasn't allowed to have tattoos in school. Well, I told him it was for medical reasons, and he said, okay, but next time he would have to see a letter from an independent doctor. So anyway I keep walking and I meet Lorraine and Juztin (Ernest has mysteriously disappeared at this point), presumably coming from BB 'cos they're wearing BB polo tops, and Lorraine says, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Then she explains something about being late for her English class, and asks me if I would like to see the reason behind why she was late. I agree, and she leads me to this entrance of an underground carpark, and it's raining now for some reason, and she points at it and says, "There! That's why!" So I'm utterly bewildered and when I turn around I'm at the roundabout at my school and Hui Jun is there and he asks if I'm taking a bus home. I say yes, and soon enough a bus come round to the roundabout (haha) and we both hget on. Then after a short while I think I missed the stop we wer supposed to be getting out at, and I said, "Whoops! I forgot to press the button!" The bus wouldn't stop for two more stops because Hui Jun and I were supposed to be going somewhere we've never been before. We got off at some weird bus park to chheck if we were at the right place and then the bus leaves without us! So with all our bags and stuff on the bas, we try chasing after it, but we got confused because all the buses looked the same and we couldn't tell which one was ours. Then I remember seeing some tall African guy, really tall like twice normal height, dressed in pure white clerical robes and stuff, and I remember folding my arms to hide my tattoos (Remember? I had tattoos!) in case I attracted the attention of some rival biker gang. Then I woke up.
My dream beats yours, Jonny.
The Edna Man
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