Extreme!

I had a vaguely interesting idea this morning while I was snoozing in my bed, trying not to get up. In a bid to practice my narrative ability, I'm going to do it this way:

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John shivered with excitement as he looked out of the porthole. The sky was clear and cloudless. John was slightly disappointed; the propect of passing through a cloud was the second-most event he was looking forward to.

"We'll be going off soon, dear!" Rachel said, seating herself beside him. "The pilot just told me."

John nodded, holding her hand in his. "This is going to be awesome," he grinned. "Think anyone's done it before?"

"Well, it's rare, but I'm quite sure there are people crazier than us," Rachel replied with a laugh. "But I don't think it's as fun underwater," she added.

"Yeah, how will you hear anything?" John asked. "This way is much better."

Suddenly, one of the personnel came over. "Almost time," he said. "The priest's good to go, and we're almost there."

"Excellent," John said, zipping up his black suit. Beside him, Rachel did the same to her pure white one. She laughed as she said, "Well, at least we save a ton of money on the gown."

Chuckling, John and Rachel made their way over to the sliding door. The priest was waiting there, all suited up. "All ready to go then?" he asked them.

John and Rachel grabbed the heavy packs and strung them over their shoulders, tightening the straps and making sure everything was in place. Years of experience had taught them the importance of safety.

"Let's go," said John, his body numb with expectation. Smiling slightly, the priest grasped the handle and shoved the door open.

Instantly, a howling wind tore at them, rushing into the cabin and dragging their voices away. Rachel had squeezed John's hand more tightly as the wind rushed in, and John patted it with his other hand consolingly. He had a perfect view of the fields below, with a streak of blue winding through the flatlands, a river snaking through the plains.

"From one plane to another!" Rachel shouted, her voice dampened by the raging high-altitude winds. John smiled at her again; she always know how to make him laugh.

"We'll be simplifying a lot of things today," the priest yelled, "since there's not much time to do it traditionally." John and Rachel nodded in assent, keeping a firm grip on the railing above their heads.

"On the count of three, then!" bellowed the priest. Rachel's grip tightened. "One... two... THREE!"

The couple leapt off the aircraft, enjoying a fraction of a second's worth of the sensation of flying, before gravity grabbed at them and dragged them earthwards. Adrenaline pumped in John's veins as the wind rushed through his hair; he looked to his right and saw Rachel's hair sticking straight upwards behind her head. She was exhilerated: her mouth was open in screaming laughter which was carried away by the wind.

In seconds, the priest was beside them, a couple of feet away. "All ready?" he shouted again.

"Yes!" they replied.

"Alright!" Sticking out his hand as far as air resistance would allow, he shouted, "John, do you?"

"I do!"

"Rachel, do you?"

"YES, I DO!"

Smiling, the priest roared, "Then I pronounce you man and wife! You may now kiss the bride."

Pulling themselves closer to each other, Rachel and John managed to hold each other close enough, so that they were kind of hugging sideways, fifteen thousand feet in the air. Then his lips met hers, and John forgot where they were; the entwined newlyweds spiraled to the ground, lips locked for what seemed like eternity, still kissing as they popped their chutes and drifted slowly back to reality.

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- How has the writer used concealment of information and suspense/mystery to achieve his effect?

- Comment on the writer's use of dialogue in the passage.

(25 marks)
The Edna Man