Pick-Up Lines for Muggers, Part II English

Pick-Up Lines for Muggers, Part II: English

1. If you come back to my place, I'll let you Huckle my Berries.
2. Jim's not the only one with big magic hair-balls, if you know what I mean.
3. I'll be your Siddhartha if you be my Kamala.
4. You've experienced enlightenment! Let me kiss your forehead! Or your lips; I'm not picky.
5. You must be an unseen text, 'cos I don't think we've met.
6. Say, when a cow's laying down, which end of her gets up first? Answer up prompt, now - don't stop to study over it. Which end gets up first?
7. I'm one-thirds a Brahmin: I don't think, I don't wait, but I can do it real fast!
8. I'll get my canoe, you get your raft, and let's go down south together.
9. I'll be your ferryman if you let me cross your river.

-----

Once again, I fail to understand the logic behind English exams. Here I am, working through the texts, and wondering how on Earth am I supposed to memorize quotes for a host of topics which could be anything under the sun, and not having a clue or an ounce of confidence that I'll be able to do anything tomorrow. I hate quotes. Whoever first came up with the idea of quoting for examinations should be shot, even if he's already dead.

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10. I forgot my pickup line because I couldn't memorize my quotes.
The Edna Man

Pick-Up Lines for Muggers, Part I Chemistry

Pick-Up Lines for Muggers, Part I: Chemisty

1. Would you like a covalent bond? No? Then how about a dative?
2. Woah! You're so hot, you're exothermic! *sizzle*
3. Let's you and me go and hybridize our orbitals, if you know what I mean ;)
4. You must be a visible wavelength of light, 'cos I'm an electron and you excite me.
5. How'd you get through security, 'cos baby, you're the nitroglycerine!
6. You've got more curves than a charged particle in a mass spectrometer.
7. You're like silicon chloride and I'm like water; when we're together it's basic chemisry.
8. Excuse me, does this smell like ammonia to you?
9. Whew, you're so hot, the temperature's going up... and my volume is increasing.
10. You're so perfect, you make the entropy of the universe decrease.
11. Your face is real symmetrical, it's like cis-but-2-ene.
12. Call me a ligand, 'cos you're so complex.
13. Are you an atomic spectrum? 'Cos I think I just had an emission.
14. You must be reducing the vapour pressure, 'cos you're making my blood boil.
15. Sick of Biology practicals? How about a little more Chemistry... (Credit: Elvira)
16. With dipoles like that, you're the solution to all my problems. (Credit: Elvira)
17. Wanna have my test tube baby?
18. Are you sulphuric acid? I want to test out my contact process.
19. You must know the Valence Shell Electron Pair Repulsion theory, to have such a perfect shape.

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In other news, today was another case of Jarrel Seah's "for someone so smart, you're quite dumb". Note to self: never let Jarrel pick two from a list of four ever again.

-----

And my number 1 top Chemistry-based pick-up line:

20. If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together.

The Edna Man

What do you do when it's the end of the world?

The student's prayer: "I hope I've covered everything, and if I haven't, may it not come out."

Good luck for exams, see you at the end of the end of the world.

12 days. Survive.
The Edna Man

Savvy?

Arrr, another Talk Like a Pirate Day has sailed off inter tha sunset, and yet again I find meself all alone at sea. Thare were rare few pieces-of-eight in this here sea of shipmates, and I found meself manning tha sails while everyone else was weighing anchor, if yer get my drift. A whole day devoted ter callin' yer shipmates scallywags and scurvy curs, swashing yer buckles and wondering why the rum's gone. It does seem a shame to lose something so fine, ain't it, lads? But tha devils of examinations rob tha fun of days like this, since them landlubbers have their noses pressed so close to their parchments they fail ter observe tha finer points in life.

Also, it be tha only day in tha whole year where yer can say, "Nice booty!" and get away with it. What's not ter like?

This year, I'd be comin' to tha realization that thare arr countless ways ter speak like a swashbuckler, without referrin' ter tha normal "Ahoy!", "Avast!" and "Aye!". That thare be simple talk, naught but fer simple pirates. Thare be much more ter piratin' that cannons and keelhauls; thare be storms and shipwrecks and Kraken and tha like. But arrr, they're more like guidelines than actual rules.

Unfortunately, I completely overlooked tha bearing of this particular circadian until tha postmeridian temporal, atwhich tha bisected diurnal had erstwhile dissipated, and although my efforts in aggrandizing this festivity was ineffectual, and my acquaintences were disinclined to acquiesce to my request. Means "no".

Arrr, but if ye consider time zones, it still be midday in tha Caribbean!

I'll be damned to tha depths of Davy Jones' Locker if I'll be stopped by tha likes of yer.
*Captain* Edna Mann

Now that's a presentation!

Woohoo! I did my Theory of Knowledge mock presentation today - what a blast! It doesn't matter so much that my presentation didn't conform with the dictated standards; I had my presentation, I knew what I was going to do, and I had fun doing it!

I'm diagnosed with an oprical anomaly. I'm not colour-blind; the rest of the world is.
The Edna Man

I'm Taking Taxi Back!

I'm Taking Taxi Back - Parody of Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake
I'm taking taxi back
The MRT's fallen off the track
The bus is full of people; really packed
Got to get home so I can hit the sack

Take me to the bridge

[Bridge]
Uncle, please
Can you take me right down to Tampines?
Why your back seat don't have those small TVs?
How come government must raise all your fees?

Take me to the city

[Chorus]
Please keep right
Twenty cents, per half minute
No traffic lights
Twenty cents, per half minute
ERP
Twenty cents, per half minute
No gantry
Twenty cents, per half minute
Let me see you've got peak surcharge
Twenty cents, per half minute
Pay me more tips
Twenty cents, per half minute
Out of range
Twenty cents, per half minute
Keep the change
Twenty cents, per half minute

And hail that taxicab
Twenty cents, per half minute

And hail that taxicab
And hail that taxicab
And hail that taxicab
And hail that taxicab
And hail that taxicab
And hail that taxicab

And hail that taxicab

I'm taking taxi back
It's really late now and the sky is black
I'm scared if I walk home I get attacked
Who knows what kind of weird people I attract

Take me to the bridge

[Bridge]
Taxis are
The best alternative to driving car
Perfect for people who drunk half the bar
But if you see ghost you should drive far far

[Chorus]

I'm taking taxi back
You see the driver's name carved on a plaque
When you pay fees it better be exact
I only wish it were a Cadillac

Take me down to Clarke Quay

[Chorus]

------------------------
I have to say I don't really like the original song. It's kinda... fail. But oh well; for the parody!

2:22:22

Couple of stuffs recently. Let's rewind and go back in order...

Teachers' Day celebrations on Friday. (Incidentally, Happy Teachers' Day today for all you educationals out there.) Kinda spent the week working on a massive Lyrics Project, which is a PowerPoint version of Don't Forget the Lyrics. Kinda epicly failed on Friday 'cos of unforseen circumstances with the timetable and harrassed teachers who (I just realized) weren't... um... I don't know how else to put this because each and every way I phrase it in my mind, it sounds like I'm insulting or complaining about them, which I'm not. I'll just say that they're not westernized enough to just cut loose and sing along with the music. This remark is in no way insulting or condescending at all, okay? I just had higher hopes that my teachers were more awesome than they appear to be (and most of them are quite awesome already, so.). As I said before, I'm not blaming them, I'm not complaining or anything. As it is, I kinda feel bad for trying to force them into doing something they're not comfortable with. High expectations and the excitement of making something so awesome must have clouded my judgement.

Kinda makes you wonder, what's so important about face. Must be an Asian thing. There's a lot of theories that I could come up with explaining why "face" is held in such high regard in our society, but I don't really want to talk about that now.

On a semi-related yet unrelated (quasi-related, I think the term is) note, it's quite disappointing that my parents don't appreciate the creativity and ingenuity that went into making the presentation. It's similar to the one I did last year, with The Millionaire Show, but it's much much bigger than that. It's the little things that make you jump out of your chair and shout, "YES! I DID IT!", but it's depressing when your mom comes back and roars at you to "Go do your homework and stop spending so much time on that thing!" It's like there's nothing left for my parents to be proud of me anymore; I'm doing stuff in areas which they think is a waste of time. Sigh, oh well, at least my friends liked it. Got positive comments from Ernest and Elvira and Herrick and Shaun; don't know about The Jarrel Seah, Programming Lord and Master though.

Fast forward to... Saturday. Went for MGS Eccentrics OM celebrations party-slash-get together. Quite fun, seeing all the girls again, and well, I tried to teach them new games but failed epicly (second time this week) 'cos there wasn't enough motivation. I mean, hyperactivity + girls just wanna' have fun =/= organized activity. Yeah. Well, but it was fun, talked to the parents a bit and had nice stuffs to eat =) Kinda sad that a lot of them aren't doing OM next year; I guess only time will tell if they're going to go the same way as my OM team from back in 2K5.

Still, I kinda felt vaguely out of place. The girls are all together in the same school and most in the same class and they've all got happenings that are centred around them; then there's the parents who are at the table talking about their parental stuff. And then there I am again, the middle man, doesn't really fit here or there, but is like a birdge between the two. I kept feeling that I should be doing something but I didn't know what to do, actually.

Yesterday... Nike+ Human Race! Got lots of freebies which I paid for (hahaha paradox), and was quite fun run/walking the 10K with Florence and Elvira. But then Florence disappeared into the distance. I tried to get Elvira to chase after all the vehicles going in our direction, but she didn't. -__- Well, at least now I've got bragging rights that I finished ten kilometres without stopping, and I finished with a time of 2 hours, 22 minutes, and 22 seconds! Well, almost; it was like half a minute after that, but close enough lah.

And then I kinda vaguely enjoyed my first live rock concert, Boys Like Girls. Quite weird, how people will scrabble for stuff the band throws into the crowd, like their water bottles and guitar picks and their sweaty shirts. I didn't really know many of their songs (they should put the lyrics up somewhere, like karaoke) but the energy and stuff was kinda infectious. Except the music was just deafening; I couldn't really hear what the guy was singing. But yeah, quite awesome all the same. Maybe next time I'll go for a concert at a band whose songs I know so I can sing along. Oh yeah, Josh got a free iPod, lucky bugger XD

Well, that's the latest news. Catch us back tomorrow, same time, same channel.

Next year, I'm doing my ten clicks on the Internet. That's like, five double-clicks!
The Edna Man

You're all in denial

I forgot to blog about this: on the 9th of August, I purposely put a green flag in my Display Picture, representing my colour-blindness in society. After talking to a couple of people, I can safely conclude that the world is colour-blind without knowing it. Because after talking to those people, nobody said anything like, "Hey! Your flag's the wrong colour!" Which goes to show that even staring at them in the face, they can't instinctively distinguish between green and red. I.e. the world's colour blind. Go scientific method!

On a side note, I think a karaoke party is an awesome idea. No that we have to go to one of those karaoke booths with all the songs we don't know (or worse still, in Chinese), but you can just get people to go to someone else's house, bringing their favourite songs (plus lyrics, of course, if you need them) in a thumbdrive, and voila! Instant karaoke party. I have got to do that sometime.

Admit it, c'mon.
The Edna Man

Gender discrimination, anyone?

I've been thinking about this for some time now. It's about gender equality. Specifically, it's about gender equality in looking good.

When you think about it right, girls have so much more stuff to wear than guys. Think about it: all guys can wear are shirts. Maybe singlets. Girls can wear shirts, tank tops, halters, tube-tops, blouses, dresses, polo tees, camisoles, crop tops. Guys can wear pants, shorts, or bermudas. Girls can wear pants, bermudas, shorts, boyshorts, dresses, skirts, minskirts, gowns, robes, shawls, smocks, frocks, petticoats. Guys: socks. Girls: socks, stockings, thigh-highs, leggings, tights, garters. Guys: shoes, sandals, boots. Girls: shoes, sandals, boots and high heels.

It's not just clothes. Girls have lipstick, foundation, eyeshadow, lip gloss, powder, rouge, mascara, nail polish, concealers, eyebrow pencils. Guys? They don't wear make up. Usually. Girls: necklaces, chokers, hair pins, earrings, tiaras, bracelets, bangles, rings, brooches, anklets. Guys: bling. Guys have bow ties, neck ties, suspenders, and scarves. Girls can wear all these.

Hats: caps, helmets, bearskins, bowlers, cowboys, fedoras, fez, hard hats, porkpies, sombreros, top hats, turbans. Girls can wear all these plus bonnets, headdresses, circlets, tiaras, fillets. Women can wear gloves; men can but it's not normal for them to. Sashes, feather boas, handbags, purses, pouches. Guys only have belts. Underwear: boxers or briefs. Bras, corsets, thongs, G-strings, boyshorts, knickers. Pyjamas. Babydolls, camisoles, negligees, nightgowns, bustiers, torsolettes, girdles, tap pants, slips, teddies, corselets.

Maybe the only thing we guys have more of is facial hair. We've got moustaches: handlebar, toothbrush, Hungarian, Dali, Imperial, pencil, walrus, horseshoe, whiskers, Fu Manchu. We've got beards, goatees, chinstraps, sideburns, stubble, royale, five o'clock shadow. But guys only have crewcut, buzz cut, comb over, cornrows, dreadlocks, mohawks, flat top, afros, mullets, bald spots. Girls have all these plus beehive, ponytails, pigtails, buns, French braids, French twists, highlights, perms, pixie cut.

Wow, you really learnt a lot, didn't you?

Spot the head-fake,
The Edna Man

Silence

Ever had those nights when you're sitting at your computer all alone and you see all these friends around but nobody's talking to you and you don't really feel like starting a conversation with them either so all you end up doing is singing your heart out?

Yeah.

Kinda vaguely watched the NDP Parade tonight. China's Olympic Opening Ceremony totally pwns ours, like, a thousand-fold (interestingly, their population numbers do the same thing with our population numbers). It's kinda awesome and scary at the same time to realize how many people there are in China. But seriously, it was awesome. No other country was, is, and ever will be able to match up to its awesomeness. China: respect.

Calefare is hilarious. First Class less so. I think there could be better acting in First Class. Have I mentioned that Calefare is hilarious?

Viva la China,
The Edna Man

Respeckt

And so we come back to this. In an incident mirroring one that happened a couple years ago, we were once again treated to a less-than-interesting lecture/presentation, but this time the inappropriate behaviour of the cohort was met with swift, silent punishment by the assistant dean.

Here's where it's going to get tricky. I am putting forward the proposition that he was wrong. Gasp. I think the charge leveled at us was misdirected: it is not a matter of respect, it is a matter of self-control.

The basic premise of his 30-minute lesson was that at any given time, a student should "give respect" to whatever speaker is up on stage. This is where I disagree. My beliefs are impregnable in this aspect: respect is something that you have to earn. It is not intrinsic in whatever position you hold, whatever seniority or whatever delegation. You want respect, you have to earn it. Do something to get people to respect you. Your office holds no respect; it is what you do that defines you.

Said assistant dean doubles as our English teacher, and it is a subtle irony that he is grading us on presentations this term. Once again I fail to see how teachers put so much effort into teaching this generation when their generation makes all the mistakes and has all the shortcomings which they try to steer us away from. Can't they teach themselves? Can only younger ones be taught? Don't have walls of text; let your points appear one by one; know your audience. Are these rules only for students under curriculum? It seems that once you get into working life, they don't seem to matter. What role-models are teachers if they don't follow their own guidelines?

Another example, from just a couple minutes ago. My dad is always telling us that it's good PR not to say "No" outright in response to anything. It's always better to be humble, and rephrase it in a nicer way. Today at dinner he was talking about Microsoft Office, and how he has to keep buying new copies to use on other computers. Recalling that there's an office version that can be installed on up to 30 computers with the same liscence, I told him so. He immediately said, "No, cannot be." I tried to persuade him that I had encountered it before while browsing the Internet, but he was still adamant. Why is it that when you get old, you think you know everything? Like the youth is always wrong because we have less experience.

Back to respect. I would like to ensure that nobody misunderstands me in my stand. I am not condoning my actions today. I accept that what I have done is socially wrong. But it is not the social constant of giving respect which I have flunked, it is the social wrong of lacking self-control. I understand that I should have kept to minimum silence and at least made it look like I was listening to whatever was being presented. But to ask me to give respect to the presenter would be going to far. There is a fine line between looking respectful and actually giving respect. I hope you can make the distinction.

I can predict that because of today, a number of students will hold said English teacher in lesser eyes because of the apparent injustice he did to them by holding them back another half hour or so. However, I continue to respect said English teacher, not because of his position, but because I believe in him. (I realize that saying that is rather role-reversal.) He had the power to stand behind his own convictions, and he did what he thought was right. I cannot fault him for that. I've known him for a number of years, and he has done nothing to make me lose my respect for him.

There's a fine, fine line.

In other news, I've decided to give up on the happy note sad note thing. I realize that it cannot encompass whatever I can write about.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
The Edna Man

Requiemly

ON A HAPPY NOTE,
Just came back from visiting Mrs Hah and her one-month-old baby! So cute! XD I got to carry the little tyke and he kept making weird faces at me XD Caught up with Mr Poon again, and met Mr Chan, my primary school science teacher. Good memories, good times. Ahh.

ON A SAD NOTE,
It's quite depressing how important your image and reputation is. Because of a (quite disturbing) joke I made yesterday, I've got this sick rep following me around. Dneo is getting suspicious about my cleanliness and stuff (but ON A HILARIOUS NOTE, Got mah!)

ON A SAD NOTE,
I think my behaiour at Mrs Hah's place today wasn't very... good. I mean, I should have gone around, talking to Mrs Hah and her husband more, or at least do what I was supposed to do and occupy the girls I coached for OM. (Curse you Herrick.)

ON A SIDE NOTE,
I'm starting this new thing with my blog which will hopefully inspire me to write more. It's an idea I had a long time ago with one of the posts, "Orchestrated". On a happy note; on a sad note; add the notes together and you get the melody of my life.

Orchestratingly,
The Edna Man

True Colourless

Blame Ernest for this one. He was the catalyst that sparked this idea.

True Colours - Parody of True Colours by Cindi Lauper
You with the bad eyes
This isn't violet
Oh I realize
You can't be a pilot
Or an electrician
Traffic lights are such a big fuss
And all decorations
Look the same at Christmas

But I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
But you know that I'm lyin'
'Cos I'm colourblind
Your true colours
True colors
Are a mystery
Like a noir show

Don't talk colour wheels
Dreamcoats or dream homes
It's a great ordeal
To see in monochrome
I mix up blue and purple
And even aquamarine
That's not the end
'Cos I can't tell red from green

I can't see your true colors
How 'bout you?
Can't see your blue colors
If only you just knew
How painful it is when people all quiz
You on the True colours
True colors
Unknown to me
On a rainbow

Boringitis

Gaah

I just did my IOP today and it was so boring. I mean, I had the interesting voice, but the presentation itself was boring to heck. Nothing interesting, few jokes, mostly content... gaah.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's not worth it if you can walk away from a presentation and say, "Yeah, it was okay." Marks are just numbers to be ignoreed. Everything that you do must come off with a "OMG THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!" sense of achievement after it, or it wasn't worth doing at all.

My presentation had no kick. It had no driving force, no humour. Boring boring boring.

Gaah.
The Edna Man

Misfits of Society

How do people belong?

When there are so many groups of people you participate in, where are you supposed to go? When you are a sheep in a hundred different herds and flocks, how do you choose which one to be in?

How do people with many different groups of friends coordinate their lives? Doesn't it feel like you're being dragged between two places in a tug-of-war with only one winner? Marvel Civil War: Which side are you on?

I belong everywhere; thus I belong nowhere.
The Edna Man

Dr Horrible

Couple of things today!

First: Dr. Horrible! Awesome shot film produced by the Whedon brothers and starring Neil Patrick Harris. Aside from the epic music sequences and snide humour references, (Oh, look at my wrists, I have to go!) this isn't just another short look-at-what-I-can-do-with-a-small-budget film. It's deep. Very deep. You can tell like, right away when you notice the dichotomy of the superhero/supervillain and the juxtaposition of the two extremes against each other. It's artistic; it's funny; it's got awesome music; what more could you want?

Go Bad Horse!

In other news, today during Racial Harmony Day I was emcee-ing and during the award ceremony for the best-dressed ethnic costume I accidentally pronounced a teacher's name wrongly. Gaah. I felt so bad, and I tried to apologise to her after the whole thing, but she just gave me a mysterious smile and didn't seem keen on talking to me for long. So yeah. I doubt she reads this blog, but well, I'm really really sorry for what I did.

In other related-yet-unrelated news, today we got another dose of National Education in one big last-minute blast. Supposedly aimed at the even-numbered years, for some reason we got stuck there as well and had to endure half an hour of why we should say nice things in a survey that we were not even going to take at all. You could just sense the subtle message they were trying to control; here we are telling you how your school environment and your country is so great so you shouldn't be saying negative things about your school environment (ahem) in your survey response.

It's not that I don't like my school; I think it's being driven in completely the wrong direction with an absolutely wrong method. There's more politics going on here than half the world put together.

Today I overheard a conversation between one of the higher-ups and a teacher; it went something like this:

T: There's a compulsory 10-minute video that we're going to show.
HU: Are we getting them to write a reflections about it and putting it in their PC file and-
T: No, we should be but we're not going to.
HU: Then will we win the National Education award?
T: *Laughs*

It's not quoted exactly, but the gist is there. I mean, Racial Harmony Day: living peacefully and working together with other nationalities to foster friendships and build nations. Nothing to do with fulfilling some NE award that might increase the school's already extravagant image. Aren't there things more important than gold?

Aaaanyway, I'm off to sing somemore Dr Horrible songs =)

Signed, Bad Horse
The Edna Man

You look negatively happy!

Gosh and golly, it's bin a long time since I've blogged, innit? Well, I'll see wot I cun do 'bout it, g'v'nor.

Hmm... recent evnts... visited Mrs Hah in hospital! Met little George Amadeus Hah, and Mr Hah as well. Was trying to surprise her, but unfortuantely, people register with their maiden name whenever they get pregnant (something I don't have experience in, come to think of it). So we were about to check with Xi Min's sister when the receptionist calls the only Katherine in the maternity ward and figures out that it's her. Supplies! Juzzie, Herrick, Xi Min, Jax, Jarrel and me. Six merry men. Everyone else too busy. Which means they miss out on an awesome discussion about vampire cats and buttered-toast missile guidance systems.

I love being a GEP.

In other news, exams have come and gone, but cold dining halls are forever. Results are back; and Jarrel pwns the competition! I'm left in the lurch once again, being your average "average guy". Heck lot of 4.09ers are in top places all over the subject levels. Hell, we're probably gonna take over the world someday. Whoops, I meant, they're.

Get Smart! Watched it on Youth Day. Awesome, and hilarious! Someone should really go out with his class more. Waiting for The Dark Knight to come out...

Been singing more lately. It's like I need to get rid of the weight I keep carrying everywhere, and music helps.

Must... perform... more! Need OM T_T

Old blog posts are... freaky o_O I think I used to think better before this (Herrick thinks so too).

Oh well. Bedtime.

I thihnk I know what you're driving at, but I don't think you know the route.
The Edna Man

Of Consciousness and knowing that you know that he knows that you know etc.

I'm supposed to be doing my English Essay now. But you know the Law of Distractability...

Anyways I was reading some other people's blogs and I was just wondering. If the people who write these things are conscious of the impact of what they're saying on other people who read it. If they can understand or at least vaguely predict what the response of a number of more well-known associates would be like after this post. Does it impact their writing? Will it cause them to censor some things? Or bring out others? Or is it just: I've got a good idea and I'm not sure what my friends would say about it but it'd be good to know so I'll post it on my blog and see what they say.

Does the importance of the statement outweigh its inherent corniness? Or the other way around?

Meh. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about Herrick's cat; (s)he was really cute even if (s)he didn't do much.

Jx's conversation with his anonymous friend was rather intriguing. I'm probably not serious enough to have conversations like that. "Ironically, armies exist because other countries' armies exist." Gotta love that line.

I can't believe school's starting again. I feel like I need a holiday to relax after this infernal "name-is-a-lie" one.

What is it about the Singaporean environment and mentality that causes us to be like this? Money, power, pursuit of happyness... I've got all these friends who're seriously mugging their brains out and I see them say things like "I haven't done any studying today I'm so screwed". My god, even guilt has been programmed into them so perfectly that anything deviating from the so-called "desired path" causes a severe system backlash.

I've been really influenced by comics recently. DC's Infinite Crisis event was totally awesome, and I guess I learnt a lot more about people and life. Kinda ironic, isn't it? Learning about reality from fiction?

Sigh. Back to work I guess. 24 month jail term.

Counting down to Final Crisis (tomorrow),
The Edna Man

Let's go Ride a Bike

...up to the highest height! Oh wait, wrong song.

I finally learnt how to ride a bike (that's bicycle for you) today at East Coast. It's damn awesome once you get going, but it's darn scary weaving in and out through other more experienced people who sneer at you as you swerve all over the track and crash into trees. Meh. My butt still hurts from that.

Anyway. Next stop: rollerblading!

Now knows how to balance on two wheels,
The Edna Man

The Fifth Place

I'm supposed to be logging about my journey to the US of A but I haven't and probably might not ever come round to doing it. But there is something I want to put up: our Action Plan Presentation at FPS International Conference.

Basically it works like this: you've got an Action Plan you come up with at the end of the report; now you have to present it in 4 minutes or less using three required stuffs. This year it was a whisk, a butterfly net, and a quote: "If you want creative workers, give them time to play." --John Cleese

Anyway, with OM still on my mind and Whose Line ringing in my head, we decided to come up with a musical.

Background info: The problem was about Child Labour, where in the future there's this game called Star Seekers which is like WoW today. Dozens of shady "Star Schools" have popped up over the glove recruiting children from less-fortunate households to play the game 12 hours a day, basically farming stars which can be sold for real money. So that's basically the scenario. Our solution was that since these children will have no means of supporting themselves if Star Seekers goes out of fashion, inventing a Dream School Machine which teaches them different skills in their sleep can help them outside this specific "industry".

You can catch the video here: Star School Musical
or if you want better sound quality but an odd angle, there's this awesome guy fron Kazakhstan who put it up here.

Lyrics
Kevin:
Ladies and gentlemen, this… is Star School Musical. (American Idol Music)

Kek (Daniel):
We’re soaring,
Flying,
Shooting down enemies that we can’t see
Aliens dying,
It’s a killing spree
Playing this forever
Stuck in this virtual reality
But I bet there’s other things
In this world to see
Something that is different from
Conquering galaxies
I’ve got a dream
Hey Boss, man
You can
Teach me another skill, not just how to play
I’ve been doing this almost everyday

All: Star Seekers: Labour in Disguise

Boss (Zhang):
In your dreams
Do I look like I care?
I just want to be a Millionaire?
This is just my money-making scheme
In your dreams
Why should I teach you new stuff
Isn’t half a day of gaming enough?
If you want to learn something extreme
Ha! In your dreams.

Kek: Dream? Dream? That idea’s supreme!

Dream Teacher (Me): Did someone say Dream?

Young man, you wanna learn something new
I said, young man, what are you gonna do?
I said, young man, let me give you a clue,
You can do it while you’re in bed
Da da da da da
You gotta use that Dream School Machine
You gotta use that Dream School Machine
If you’re tired of games
Everyday is the same
Then you just put this on your head…

Dream Kek (Kevin): Wow, I’m slimmer! And I have perfect vision!

Dream Teacher (Me):
The Classroom in Dreamland; what a wonderful place
The Classroom in Dreamland; better than outer space;
I’ll be your teacher, to guide you in your ways
You’ll learn anything
And everything
The Classroom in Dreamland

Why, looking at these two things
Kek: What are these two things?
Dream Teacher: In the realm of your mind, you can do what you will
Just with these simple things, you can learn any skill

You can climb a tall mountain, and stick in the flag
You can wear a small hairnet, so your perm doesn’t sag
Use it to cook, like soup on a stove
Digging for treasure in an old treasure trove

You can play the drums, or a xylophone
You can even make traps if you’re Home Alone
Dream Kek:
You could hit a home run for a winning streak
Or you could take a paddle up Kaka Creek

Dream Teacher:
Yeah, you got it, get creative
And your knowledge will be all automative

I used to be a gamer
Until I began to dream
Then I became a learner
Hard though it may seem

Working for long hours
Will lead you all astray
If you want creative workers
Give them time to play

It was totally awesome and after our performance for the rest of the conference we had people coming up to us saying how much they enjoyed it and how it was the best they've ever seen and stuff. It was so great! Hope you like it to =D

Redefining fifth place,
The Edna Man