Slipping

So easy, so easy to fall. To fall back to the old habits, the old habits of the mind, the old ways of thinking and jealously and anger and hate. So easy, too easy.

"I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant lump of carbon.
I have one life, and it is short
And unimportant…"

So push it aside, throw it away, tie it up, lock it down; the beast cannot be free to roam to snarl and bite and scratch. It's not your fault, nor anyone else's; it was just a victimizing circumstance and there can't have been any malicious intent, even though studies have shown that ignorance can be more harmful that outright malice, it's not going to affect you because you are stronger than that. You are better than that. You're supposed to be better than that.

I have just been reading about people who have had their brains sliced in two with a sharp, shiny, surgical scalpel but instead of splitting the left from the right, I thought, they should be splitting the wrong from the right and cut out every misdirected, maligned, malodorous bit of resentment and bitterness and frustration that like a tumour eats away at the mind and forms a disgusting black lump in your thoughts.

I have been told that evil exists because good is all that better when it resists badness. I have been told that while ignorance may be bliss you'd never want to go back to being naive and unaware because that way madness lies.

But maybe, sometimes, madness tells the truth.
The Edna Man