My Most Precious Treasure

ひとりでもゆくよ例え辛くても
きみと見た夢は必ず持ってくよ
きみとがよかった ほかの誰でもない
でも目覚めた朝きみは居ないんだね

hitori demo yuku yo tatoe tsurakute mo
kimi to mita yume wa kanarazu motteku yo
kimi to ga yokatta hoka no dare demo nai
demo mezameta asa kimi wa inai nda ne

Even if I'm alone, I'll go, even if it's difficult.
I'll definitely bring the dream I had with you.
I'm glad it was with you, and nobody else.
But when I woke up in the morning, you weren't there.

目を閉じてみれば誰かの笑い声
なぜかそれが今一番の宝物

me o tojitemireba dareka no waraigoe
nazeka sore ga ima ichiban no takaramono

If I try and close my eyes, I can hear someone's laughing voice
For some reason, now, that is My Most Precious Treasure.

Never forget,
The Edna Man

Mysterious Ways

"God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

-- Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens

It has been a very, very strange six hours.

Life has a way of creeping up behind you, and while sometimes it might clobber you with a baseball bat, or cackle maniacally while wearing a voodoo mask,; tonight it poured jelly down the back of my shirt.

And tomorrow, I'm probably going to something hilarious and crazy and will affect the rest of my life forever.

But you still have to play.
The Edna Man

Slipping

So easy, so easy to fall. To fall back to the old habits, the old habits of the mind, the old ways of thinking and jealously and anger and hate. So easy, too easy.

"I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant lump of carbon.
I have one life, and it is short
And unimportant…"

So push it aside, throw it away, tie it up, lock it down; the beast cannot be free to roam to snarl and bite and scratch. It's not your fault, nor anyone else's; it was just a victimizing circumstance and there can't have been any malicious intent, even though studies have shown that ignorance can be more harmful that outright malice, it's not going to affect you because you are stronger than that. You are better than that. You're supposed to be better than that.

I have just been reading about people who have had their brains sliced in two with a sharp, shiny, surgical scalpel but instead of splitting the left from the right, I thought, they should be splitting the wrong from the right and cut out every misdirected, maligned, malodorous bit of resentment and bitterness and frustration that like a tumour eats away at the mind and forms a disgusting black lump in your thoughts.

I have been told that evil exists because good is all that better when it resists badness. I have been told that while ignorance may be bliss you'd never want to go back to being naive and unaware because that way madness lies.

But maybe, sometimes, madness tells the truth.
The Edna Man

Any Other World

How can you want to be alone yet not want to be alone.

Dammit, brain, make up your mind.
The Edna Man

Enlightenment

So I just had the most mindblowing moment in my philosophy class.

"Where is there hide to cover the whole world? The wide world can be covered with hide enough for a pair of shoes alone."

-- Santideva, The Bodhicaryavatara, chapter 5 verse 13.

The world is full of terrible terrain. But instead of wallpapering the world with leather so that it would be safe to walk on, wrap the leather around your feet as shoes instead.

You cannot fix the world. You can only fix yourself.

Enlightenment.
The Edna Man