Saturday, March 12, 2011

Tirade (Parody)

Tirade, parody of Grenade by Bruno Mars

Ferry comes, ferry goes; every single week
Oh, paint, paint, paint it all; stripes across the cheek
Should've known you was trouble from the field camp
When you stunned my rifle; why stun my rifle?

Followed what you said and you still treat me like trash
You let me get heat rash, you did
To book us out on time is all we ever asked
But what I don't understand is

I threw the grenade for ya
Dug shellscrape with my spade for ya
I drank cordial lemonade for ya
I have to do everything for ya

I spent my whole BMT
Just high kneeling on my bad knee
And what did you do for me, sergeant?
You gave me extra: three

No, no, no, no

Knock, knock, knock it down, pump me 'til I'm dead
Told the OC; I said, "Hey, is this guy right inside the head?"
Mad sergeant, sad sergeant, why you have no life?
You make me RT and then you make me clean my wife

Right after route march then you made us SOC
You treat us like trainees, yes you did
To let us have some sleep is all we ever asked
But what I don't understand is

I water parade for ya
Never stood in the shade for ya
I made myself not downgrade for ya
Yes I'm doing everything for ya

When I go through all this pain
What the hell is going through your brain?
It's only for two years, sergeant
Why be so inhumane?

If I jumped out of the fire
Ooh, you'd catch me with the frying pan
Leaders supposed to inspire
But you never, ever, ever did

But sergeant, I still manned the blockade for ya
Area cleaned like a maid for ya
I do my work underpaid for ya
You make me do everything for ya

If war does come to our nation
This is my only consolation
If I must die for my country
I'll make sure you do the same

Yes, make you do the same
I'll make you do the same
Ooh, you better do the same
Yes, yes, yes, yes


Honestly, I wrote this simply because I was surprised how many rhymes for "grenade" there actually are. I don't know any screwed up sergeants.

Girl, you're amazing; you're a superstar
The Edna Man

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