Sunday, February 07, 2010

Stop: Storage Time!

Melbourne, Australia -- Don't you just hate it when you're late for a meeting but the multistorey carpark is full, then vowing to be early next time so you can get a parking space, but never do?

Drivers would be delighted to find out that Seah Industries has solved the problem of limited parking space. Utilizing their groundbreaking time-travelling technology which they unveiled just last year in August 2012, Seah Industries has managed to commercialize the time-travel phenomenon.

Dubbed ChronoParking, the new system takes advantage of time, instead of space, in modern parking lots. "Carparks are always full during peak periods and usually empty after hours," said a spokesperson for Seah Industries at a press conference yesterday. "ChronoParking merely sends cars into empty parking lots in the past or future, allowing carparks to hold 'more than their capacity', allowing patrons to spend less time driving around looking for parking space."

Time travel has been a subject of controversy since its discovery in July 2012, when Seah Industries co-founder Dr. Jarrel Seah, then only 21, invented the first time machine and proved the existence of parallel universes. Since then, many advocate groups and government organizations have suggested that time travel should not be commercialized, lest it "falls into the wrong hands and history changes forever", according to the mission statement of Singularity, a non-profit organization which advocates against the proliferation of time travel.

Nevertheless, Seah Industries is confident with its new system. "A lot of safety measures are in place to ensure that history does not get rewritten," said Dr. Levin Tan, Seah Industries' leading scientist in the area of time travel. "For instance, the system preferably sends vehicles into a future timeline, when the interactions of cause and effect should be minimal on our present." Other measures include bomb-detection scanners and a ChronoShield plating around each parking space, to minimize the radiation of time particles called "minuteons", which can play havoc with the timestream.

"Imagine the future," said Dr. Tan, "where cars can be diverted to the same road at a different time to ease rush hour congestion." He adds, "This technology is the future, and also the past, and present."

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Inspired by rush hour carparking at Anchorpoint and Ikea yesterday. Set in the TNN 2012 universe.

The Edna Man

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