Chaotic Neutral

Hi.

Today I'm talking to all you pioneers out there. Yes, you know who you are. All of you who have ever had an idea which has been shouted down, criticized, alluded to fantasy, called ridiculous, insensible or illogical. Here's my question to you: how did you do it? How did you change the face of the world with just your idea, when everyone else was against you, calling it daft, away with the fairies? All the encyclopaedias and biographies just say that "with hard work and perseverance", but what really was going through your mind? How did you know you were right? How would you know that you weren't wrong? What made you continue when nobody believed in you?

I've got ideas. I've got lots of ideas. And lots more that nobody agree with. Ideas that are so weird, different, disagreeable, that it can only be called revolutionary. I'm not praising myself here; revolutionary in the sense that it's so against the system. That the concept is so contextually wrong that nobody agrees with it and/or gives it backing and support.

Should I just shut up? My ideas will be shut down anyway, so what's the point of bringing them up at all? Why don't we all just work with the system, who cares about the flaws, accept that life is what it is, screw creativity, screw progress, screw point of view. Why do you follow something you disagree with? Isn't it better if you try to make it better?

Why make it better in the first place? There are so many contradicting viewpoints that there is no such thing as better. And everything is impractical because it takes too much time and money. What is good? What is bad? Why is my idea flawed? Why isn't yours? Why are we putting so much faith in the system? What's wrong with changing the system? What is wrong?

Kev once asked me what Chaotic Neutral is. It's a character alignment system from Dungeons and Dragons, which basically ascribes your character's ethical code and moral path. It's based on two perpendicular axes: the chaotic-lawful, and the good-evil; so there are nine different alignments you can choose from. I came across Chaotic Neutral while playing Neoquest II, and it kind of describes me; 'cos I'm not totally good, but not totally bad either. And I'm definitely not lawful because I keep going against the system. Apparently Chaotic Neutral is the alignment for rebels. Huh, imagine that.

The fact that the issue is so small and easily rectified is what upsets me.

Change the world, they said. Make a difference, they said. Well, I'm trying, but nobody's letting me.
The Edna Man