March ado about nothing

[Quote of the post] No matter how hard I fight I won't get stronger, I get pumped on the road and my hands just bleed x_x –SZ, MSN nickname
[Song of the post]When You Believe – Prince of Egypt Soundtrack

Uniformed Youth Organizations. Why do we do it? Some people like them: Herrick, Darrell, BB people, Mong; but the majority of us does not. So why do we do it?

If I’m not wrong, Dr Ong is emphasizing more and more on UYOs now. Increased budget for NPCC, instillation of importance in NCC (Air)… there’s no doubt about it.

And students only go through with this because they are forced to. The fascinating thing about our meritocratic society is that it is very for the government to get students (and indirectly, parents) to do things which the government wants. “Torturous training? Oh no, it develops character and leadership in our students and trains them to become officers of tomorrow. Oh by the way, did I mention there’ll be CCA points as well?

Another barrier is the discipline system. Another great thing about the crime-prevention system is that it hinges more towards the punishment than the reward method. So students crawl their way through the trainings, knowing that anything they do will probably result in demerit points, and poof goes the chances of CCA points.

And so the students go through it week after week, training after training of drills, push-ups, strenuous activities that are supposed to test your mind and body but in reality waste your time and leave you to die.

No matter how hard I fight I won't get stronger, I get pumped on the road and my hands just bleed. –SZ

I’ll probably never understand the army system until I experience it for real. This cheap substitute in school called UYO, it’s nothing compared to real NS. But more and more of it is creeping into the school system. If I remember correctly, someone in high authority (can’t really remember who) said something along the lines of “Act first, ask later” during one of the morning devotions.

All these organizations are supposed to be, well, organized. But what I hate about all the groups and organizations is their lack of organization. Everyone in a position of power seems to want to waste the time away so they don’t have to do anything. There doesn’t appear to be any sense of doing the duty that was assigned. UYO doesn’t have to start half as early if the NCOs didn’t waste almost 45 minutes for admin. Prefect meetings wouldn’t cut into duty time if the meeting started promptly at the stated time. Half the activities and most of the rules in UYO make no sense. It seems like the army system favours organization to time, because when you’re organized you save time. Not for the case of the individual.

I really liked SZ’s line. I don’t know why, I just do. I'm sick of UYO, I'm sick that we can't do anything about it, I'm sick of losing 4 hours of my life every Friday, and usually more during the rest of the week.

If you get there before I do

[Quote of the post] "There is good, and there is evil. But the line between them can be almost impossible to find." -Robin, Teen Titans
[Song of the post] Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton

Life is so fragile. And I'm not talking about the newspaper.

Our school's estate manager just passed away yesterday. The cause of death as of now is still uncertain. He has two kids, still in school. Dr. Ong plans to set up a fund for them. Our IHS teacher said he was a modest, humble, dedicated man. Dr. Ong praised him in the same way.

Life is so fragile.

Coincidentally, I was thinking about death yesterday as well. I was deciding on whether I should use death as a topic for my Chinese project. I was going to ask questions like, What would you feel if your friend suddenly died? What if he was murdered? If he committed suicide? (I finally decided against it because my Chinese teacher may think I'm suicidal and send me for counseling.)

Are you freaked out? I'm freaking myself out. I'm thinking of death way too much. It's not a good sign. I even had a dream ab0ut it. Definitely not good.

What would happen if one of my best friends suddenly... died? I don't think I'll be able to take it. But I fear that I wouldn't remember them for who they were. What would happen if I suddenly just dropped dead? I don't think it'll have major impact on anyone's lives. What if I suddenly just... ceased to exist? What would people remember of me? Would I be remembered as the angsty, sullen, detached teenager, or the cheerful, punny author of TNN? Or as a son, a brother, a friend?

It doesn't matter. After a few months, people would have gotten over it. The deceased would just become a memory. People would get on with their lives, make do without you.

I don't know if a Speaker for the Dead would be a good idea. I admire the concept in all fascination, but I don't know if it will work in real life.

I'm not afriad of many physical things. But I fear many abstract ones, death among them. In all the stories you read, they keep telling you not to fear death. But here I am.

What am I talking about. Even I'm confused now. Whatever it is, don't die on me. Not now. I wouldn't be able to take it.

Thank you!

Hey! I think it would be best if I thanked everyone by name! I didn't want to at first because I thought some people might feel left out. But then all the well-wishers and gift-givers wouldn't be given justice. So here's all the birthday stuff I received as of March 17th!

Cake: Zhang Quan, Herrick, Jeremy, Boey, Jason, Daniel, Sufen
Singing birthday song at max volume in public place: Kuang Kai, Joel, Basil, Zhang Quan, Kevin Wong, Jeremy, Boey, Daniel, Michael, Hsieh Wen, Darrell, David Crawshaw
Sharing cake: Kuang Kai, Joel, Basil, Zhang Quan, Kevin Wong, Jeremy, Boey, Daniel, Michael, Hsieh Wen, Darrell, David Crawshaw, Ms Audrey Tay, Ms Ong, Jotham, Hanspreet
Presents: Kevin Wong, Zhang Quan, Boey, Shaun, Jason, Mr Ferdinand Quek
Wishers: Kuang Kai, Joel, Basil, Zhang Quan, Kevin Wong, Jeremy, Boey, Daniel, Michael, Hsieh Wen, Darrell, David Crawshaw, Jarrel, Juztin, Cleon, Jian Xiang, Xi Min, Jun Yi, Gideon, Isaac, Weihua, Sam Teo, Peter, Shaun, Russell, Bryan Ong, Seng Wei, Sufen, Rachel, Jotham, Hanspreet, Ms Audrey Tay, Ms Ong, Mr Ferdinand Quek, practically everyone who went for MEW, and specifically Hern Hern 'cos she contacted me on MSN. XD
Dinner: Mom and Dad

Thanks everyone for making my birthday special!

Boing boing boing!

[Quote of the post] I'd do anything
[Song of the post] Happy Birthday Radio
[Site of the post] My Personal Dna Report

Booyah! It’s my birthday! Was, anyway. Sorry this is three days late; I’ve been out most of the nights.

Whee! This is my bestest birthday I’ve had as far as I can remember! Big whooping thanks to everyone who gave me presents, thanks to everyone who chipped in for the cake, and thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday, in advance, belated or otherwise!

I’ve just been so happy ever since Tuesday; I’ve been bouncing all over the place and thinking happy thoughts… It’s nice to confirm that there are people out there who know and care for and appreciate and love me... ^~^

Boing! I’m gonna blog about the entire day so I can remember it forever and ever! Boing!

K, it started out late at night at 12a.m. in school in room 406 in my sleeping bag when I was half-dead from a full day of NCO Camp. Everybody was sleeping, so I just wished myself and rolled over and slept.

In the middle of the night the NCOs gave their first present – Fire Drill. They hammered a big metal cylinder in the middle of the night and we had to rush down four storeys and stand there shivering in the chill night air… first present of the day! Oh yeah, my rifle got stolen in the middle of the night, but that doesn’t count.

Yay, then wake up in the morning at 4:45a.m. for PT! Running and running around and around the track in more freezing night air and more blister-inducing pull-ups! So many presents! I could die from the sheer amount! Almost did too!

Yeah, and Mr Andrew Wong actually gave me a birthday gift without realizing it. He let me go off for MEW! Yay!

WHEE HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS

So I fall asleep in the taxi due to lack of sleep the night before because of fire drill and trying to guard my rifle and 5BX. Then I get to Dunman high! And the taxi driver unwittingly gives me a present; he gives me 10 cents off! I know it’s not much, but hey, HAPPY THOUGHTS!

Yay, so when I get to Dunman, Zhang gives me a present! Yay! And Boey gives me one too, and he did it in the exact same way he gave the chocolates to Long, Haha! I don’t really mind lah… it was funny! Kev gave me a present too!

And so MEW went on, and it was really fun! I knew so quite some people there, and the problems were so much more interesting than the previous year’s. Yeah, but it was fun wandering around and checking out all the groups and the puzzles… Daniel was checking out the group members, but never mind. Yeah, and I volunteered to help out in one of the brainteaser activities! The teacher, I think he’s a cross between Mr Joseph Wong and Simon Cowell. Ms Tay says he’s an ex-ACS boy, so it’s no wonder then. And then there was this genius from Raffles I think, he solved most of the questions in like, 20 seconds? He massively pwned the competition; his group scored 120 points while others only scored like 40 or so. The only problem is that he acts a bit weirdly… okay, very weirdly. But that’s the way geniuses are, I guess.

Then before I left for MEW Zhang suddenly grabbed me in the canteen and started steering me towards the back. It was so sudden and so shocking, I was stunned for a moment. Then he steered me around the corner and there’s like a big cake from who-knows-where-it-came-from! It was really nice, with a yellow cat on the top and cream all over! Zhang said a lot of people chipped in for the cake, so thanks a lot guys! And girl. XD

Then, Kuang and Joel had this crazy idea to sing the birthday song out at the top of their voices! So it was like the whole canteen was echoing with the voices of ACS MEW Sec 3 GEP singing… eeps, I was so embarrassed. Yup, but the cake was really nice – pure chocolate! It was shared out among lots of people, including the teachers and some of my other friends. I was so happy and surprised! I was like, bouncy for the rest of the day!

After that I had to go for NPCC Dry Practice Shooting back in school, and had to miss the MEW concurrent sessions. But after that I was released home! Yay!

After that, my parents brought me out for dinner at the Japanese restaurant across the street. The food was nice, but not my personal favourite, but it was okay lah! I still enjoyed it, and after I got home there was MORE CAKE! It looked quite promising with a full coating of chocolate fudge, but inside there were cherry bits. Oh well. It was still really good! There’s still a bit left in the fridge, and I haven’t been eating it since I haven’t really been home the past few days.

K, then I opened all my presents, and they were really cool! There’s like lots of stuff which I really really like! Thanks KW, Zhang, Boey and Mr Quek, because I only opened your card on that day!

That’s it for my birthday; my 周记 is only going to be until here.

MEW Day 2 was a blast! Meeting at the Esplanade in the morning, having lunch at Burger King, getting sunburn at the Merlion… the Math Trail was really fun! There’s a whole bunch of people I know… it’s so fun being a Station Master! You get to help the teams, give them hints, deny them answers, make jokes… it’s so nice to hear other people laugh! KW was being biased towards his group.

Oh, and there’s the Drink Stall Incident with Basil and Joel which is so funny I think it’s gonna be remembered forever and ever, especially by Michael.

K, so Basil, Joel, Kev and I were are the Merlion, and we were dying of thirst because we ran out of water. The drinks at the Merlion itself cost $1.50 a can and it was too expensive so we sent Basil and Joel to go find cheaper drinks somewhere else. (Sarah bought drinks for her entire team. O_o)

Yeah, so anyway, when they came back, they said they went to some far away place… I can’t remember the exact name, something that starts with a C and has something to do with ocean… Clifford Pier, if I’m not wrong (and I probably am). So they bought their drinks and were leaving when the shopkeeper asked them something.

Shopkeeper: Are you friends?

Basil and Joel: Umm… yeah…

Shopkeeper: Are you boyfriends?

B&J: Umm… no…

Shopkeeper: You know what boyfriends means, right? *wink wink*

O_O

Scary, but hilarious.

Then after we explained the questions we went to Boey’s house for his birthday party two weeks in advance. His actual day is March 30th, but he says that his function room is booked on that day already so he’s bringing it forward. XD Yay, more fun, more laughs, MORE CAKE! And more Pokemon cards; Kev brought his and Russell learnt how to play and it was all so fun!

And today FPS was also really fun! I kept coming up with weird solutions and Daniel kept slamming his head on the table… And Mr Azmi is very interesting! When we went for lunch, he started talking about a whole bunch of random stuff, making puns and weird references… XD He kept saying that everyone had a girlfriend and stuff and basically made us laugh so much! Haha!

It’s been a great three days and HAPPY THOUGHTS so I should be like this for a while more, so…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I hate you... why oh.

[Quote of the post] I am not saying that we should be cynical. Life is dreary and almost insufferable without a bit of naive fantasizing. But as quickly as we learn that we can't jump out of the window and expect to fly like superman just because we have a blanket for a cape, we should learn that happy endings in real life never look like anything we see in the movies. -Mr. Ferdinand Quek, his email signature.
[Song of the post] I'm Just A Kid - Simple Plan

Read out the title of this post, then it'll make sense.

NPCC Service Day on Friday was another waste of 2 hours. Why? Let me see...

1. Nobody's home on a Friday afternoon. They're all at work.
2. Half the houses have eviction notices on them.
3. People think we're bothering them.
4. Of the people who actually answer the door, half don't speak English.
5. They already know what you're telling them.

What fun. And still NPCC HQ forces people to trample around their school neighbourhood to irritate people on a lazy Friday afternoon. And they make it compulsory. What fun.

I've got NCO camp over the next few days. Luckily I get to miss most of the stuff on my birthday.

I just don't get army logic. It seems to be aiming for order, which brings about efficiency and effectiveness, but most of the time they're wasting time.

Zhang's latest post is vagely angsty. Whee. He seems to be going through the same confusion as me. I don't know; he says that he doesn't blog all his feelings, but as far as I can tell I've got even more confusion than him. Let's put it this way: everywhere areound you you have people telling you not to bottle up your feelings, not to keep it in or you'll explode. Then you go blog about it, and then you have other people telling you that it's a cry for attention. Sigh.

There's a lot more layers to this ogre, but I have to sleep soon and I'm afraid it would be deemed as a cry for attention. So goodnight, and you're welcome to take the fun that I won't be having.

Letter from Prison

Hey old friend,

I haven’t seen you in a long time. How have you been? I missed you. Do you remember me? Sorry I couldn’t write earlier; they didn’t let me have pencil and paper for a long time.

I don’t know why I’m writing this letter. I guess after twenty years of solitary confinement, I’ve had some time to sort out my thoughts a bit.

You’re probably wondering why I’m locked up here in the first place. They say it’s to protect me from myself. I think it was to protect me from other people. My mental health has degraded since I first came. And now I’m more alone than ever.

Did you come to visit? No one has visited me for twenty years. Did they turn you away at the door, telling you that I could not be around human contact for my own safety? I know a few people visited the other prisoners; they never let me see anyone.

How did I become like this? I’m sick of psychoanalyzing myself; it’s what put me here in the first place. There are enough people trying to pry into my mental processes without my help. But I hoped one of my old friends would know.

Do you remember me? I remember you. I have been playing my life through my head over and over again, like a tape, trying to find out where I went wrong. Remember secondary school? We used to talk and laugh and learn together. I tried to talk to you, but our interests were never the same. We could talk, but not in the way the gamers or anime-lovers did.

So I tried to create my own interest group. Remember TNN? It was my pet project. I poured my very being into that story, tried to make it good, tried to make it worthy of being an interest. But still I was at a loss. There was no relationship between the author and the reader. There was nothing to talk about; nothing to say. And it died out soon after when homework – remember the homework? – swamped it over crushed it into little tiny pieces.

I took on a different approach. I tried to improve myself, tried to do better in my studies. We were both in the same school, same class; it could possibly be another “interest group”. I bettered myself, and in doing so, my way of thinking changed. Even then, my plan backfired. Where I scored exceedingly well you did not, and where I failed you succeeded. Everybody’s different. I realize it now.

Do you remember the P.E. lessons? How they made us run 3km around the school? You were always ahead of me, always in the lead. I knew my stamina was not up to scratch, so I resolved to improve myself in that area as well. If I could have something in common with you, then maybe we’d understand each other.

But in doing so I lost track of the fun. My mind was so focused on the goal that I did not stop to take a laugh now and then. I grew sullen as each failure passed. I withdrew myself; I resented communication; I hid myself. So here I am: locked up in solitary for the rest of my life.

I don’t know what made me write this letter. I think I feel better to see it, to have a tangible record of my feelings, rather than to have it whirl around in my head and knocking another drop of happiness out every time it hits home.

You don’t have to reply to this letter. They might not let it through anyway. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for being who I am.

Love,

Uncle Edna
Psychiatric Ward 1E
Singapore Institute of Mental Health

Suicide is not an option

[Quote of the post] The ribbon on my wrist says do not open before Christmas.
[Song of the post] You Had a Bad Day - Daniel Powter

I am beginning to have doubts about the value system in my school.

Disclaimer: this post is not meant to spite or flame or degrade my school in any way. I'm just complaining about stuff. Don't bring the Sedation Law down on my neck.

Two things. Firstly, this morning, our principal announces that the board of governors have decided to "use the correct term" for the branding of our school name. Instead of being just "AC", it has to be the full "ACS". "So the Drama Club cannot be called ACDC but ACSDC and the AC Prefectorial Board must be renamed the ACS Prefectorial Board." He gave us two weeks.

First, why does our school have branding. Yes, I know it's an independent school so it can't get government funding. But marketing the name of the school? What's next, merchandising? Get the William Oldham Action Figure - an ACS Inc. Product!

Second, sure, okay, it shouldn't be just AC; it should be ACS. But isn't drastically changing names just to conform to that a bit drastic? I mean, for further references or brand names we use ACS, but can't we just stick with what we have? Which sounds better, ACDC or ACSDC? It totally loses its rhyming scheme. If it's not broken, don't fix it.

On a side note, MPac has to become like, MPacs. Zhang says it sounds plural.

Incident number two. All the NPCC teachers are like, "Come for NPCC Service Day because it is important if we want to be a Gold unit," and "Your Dry Practice is important because if you don't go for your two practices you can't go for your classification shoot and we need a certain percentage to get points for out unit." Okay, so we, as cadets, are coming up for training, just so that NPCC Land can get the Gold award for UOPA. Like WTH? So we are just coming for points. We're just here so that you can get Gold and then next year when the slide comes out with all the UYO awards NPCC Land won't be a Silver.

That's not the point of UYO is it? All this while, I've been living through two years of incomprehensible torture, unexplainable pain, and I keep telling myself that it's for my own good, I'm going for all this because it's for my own good. Then all of a sudden, "You need to come so that we can get Gold." I don't know how to describe it. It's like... I'm not coming so that you can make me a better person, I'm coming so that you can show your face in public, that you are not in charge of a Silver unit.

Sigh.

Anyways. I'm really depressed because there seems to be lots more UYO stuff this year. I've got to miss lessons again and stay until 6 on Monday because NP NPCC (must follow school branding rules) Land is in charge of duty for Track and Field heats. Then AGAIN on the finals. I have to miss SL meeting this Friday because of NPCC Service day. This is another brainless time-waster; when I went in Sec 1 and rang people's doorbells, they just ignored us because they thought we were salesmen. Seriously, if you see a bunch of kids outside your house in police uniform, would you let them in to let them tell you about house safety? Ironic, isn't it?

Then there's NCO camp over my birthday. 13th, 14th and 15th. 13th I was going to replace Daniel for the Chinese compo camp thing. BLAM NCO CAMP DRY PRACTICE IS IMPORTANT (refer to above). 14th and 15th I have MEW. BLAM NCO CAMP DRY PRACTICE IS IMPORTANT. Now Daniel has to find another replacement, I possibly have to miss out MEW and have target practice on my birthday.

As Mr Quek says, why are we so multi-talented. There's so many things you have to do, so many pebbles you have to change to golf balls, so much sand you have to change to pebbles, that even the coffee can't be poured in.

I've been working on this post and managing 7 chat convos for about 1 1/2 hours and listening to Jarrel explain some stuff to me and I have totally forgotten about my Chinese homework. Will have to go do it now. OEP blogs tomorrow night. I promise.

You Had a Bad Day

[Quote of the post] Is this the me I want to be Is this the me you want me to be
[Song of the post] You Had a Bad Day – Daniel Powter

http://www.minibite.com/heartache/loveaintenough.htm
Now, I don't want to lose you
But I don't want to use you
Just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
But I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you,
But I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
There beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

Yay. Another angsty period. Whee. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but oh wells. I cried already (yes, again).

“I think he suffered from mood swings, personally; I’m not a psychiatrist, but – you let me know when I’m rambling!” – B.E.N., Treasure Planet

Everybody changes, though not all for the better. I’m changing. It’s quite obvious. People are remarking it in class. Juzzie says I never used to laugh this way before. Seng Wei asked me today, “How did you laugh before?” Through my laughter, and my actions, people can see the obvious character change. I think I mentioned this before, in a way earlier post. How my behaviour is beginning to reflect some of my friends’. How I shift from one personality type to another while I switch conversation partners.

And Juzzie asked me about my perception that I had no close friends. After thinking a bit, I said it had to do with loyalty; by switching from personality type to personality type, it reflects a very… dishonest character. And by having so many friends, I can’t be loyal to all of them at the same time. I keep switching who I help so much that I become unreliable.

I’m kinda like Iswaran. Yes, I know I’m comparing to Malgudi Days again. But I’ll explain this later. I’m like Iswaran in the beginning of the story, where he acted like a “desperado”, while inside he was nervous and insecure. I try to keep a smile when I’m in school, but when I get home I shrink into a ball and my self-analyses keep tearing me apart.

Obviously I hate this part of me. Obviously you hate it too. But, weirdly, it has come to help me in my studies (I think). I recently scored quite well in a Language Arts essay (you want to know my real marks, you can come look for me). And for almost all the subjects, I’m doing pretty okay. I think all this critical thinking is improving my mental capability, allowing me to write commentaries better, allowing me to see connections that aren’t there, allowing me to understand concepts in a shorter time.

Another way this “poser” behaviour has reflected in real life was this Tuesday, when I helped a Year 1 guy carry his tablet PC upstairs. I don’t know; this is something I originally though Gideon would naturally do, but I did it anyway. Ironically, I met Gid when I was half-way there, and he started stalking me. Yeah.

So is this the real me? The person tries to help but in many ways needs help himself? The person who is surrounded by friends, yet feels lonely? The confused boy who huddles in the corner of his bed and cries himself to sleep?

Dang. It’s all my fault. It’s always my fault.

I don’t want to know so much. Why do I know so much. I know that some people will read this post and go like, “WTH this guy has a wonderful life and all he does is complain.” Demel will probably make some random comment about me being his third test subject. KW and Zhang and Shaun will try to cheer me up. JY will probably make some random comment which has something to do with KW taking over the world. And Gid will just go, “wth jy so random”.

I can’t take it anymore. It feels like I’m gonna cave in (pun not intended) with all this mental degradation and form a gloop. Whoever said Ignorance is Bliss knew what they were talking about. And it doesn’t help when you have Orson Scott Card and Jarrel agreeing that “Humanity does not ask us to be happy… humanity asks us to be brilliant on its behalf, and then happiness if we can manage it.”

Grah.

Anyway, on a happier and more humourous note, my MSN nickname currently has [Stripes Birthday Countdown: 12 Days!] in it. And here’s the responses from all the 3.9 people who have so far asked me about it:

™©®†§‡½¤»Dar: when is stripes birthday?
™©®†§‡½¤»Dar: issnt that the march hols countdown?

KW: Isn't it you who's born in 13 days, not Stripes? XD
Me: Yes...!
Me: But it's not Stripes's Birthday Countdown...!
KW: Then why's it say 'Stripes Birthday Countdown'?

sengwei-{whe: what do u mean by "stripes birthday" o_0

hoblet.blogs: since when did stripes have a birthday.

dannyboy: whose bdae
dannyboy: : urs? Me: Yes Me: Not Stripes's. XD

hitsuhina!<3:>

Lol, I definitely remember more people asking me about this. Oh well. BTW if you’re wondering what’s wrong, it’s not Stripes’s Birthday Countdown. The “’s” makes a whole lot of difference.

On a sadder and more **** note, I have UYO tomorrow. Probably the only unit which is having UYO tomorrow. And it they said it’s going to be games. Which means it’s not going to be fun. Which means four-and-a-half hours of pure time-wasting torture. Blah.

Will blog OEP over the weekend. KW finally took matters into his own hands and brought the entire stack of OEP files from the pigeon hole. Yay! Weekend, I promise. =)

Tattered and Torn

[Quote of the post] God won’t ask us how many friends we had. He’d ask us how many people to whom we’ve been a friend.
[Song of the post] Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough

What a tangled mess I live in.

There are three ways of interpreting exam results: Absolute, Relative, and Personal. Absolute is the mark itself, its value, whether it’s a pass mark or a fail grade, if it is a 97% or an F-. Relative is your score compared to everyone else’s in the class. You might have gotten a 42%, but if everyone else in class got around 40% – 45% then you don’t have much to worry about. Personal is dependent on your own goals, and whether your results fall short of your expectations or not.

Almost everyone assesses their assessment in this order: Absolute, Personal, then Relative. Say you’ve scored 33% when you expected to get at least a 60%. But then you realize that everyone else got 30% and below, so it’s not so bad. Absolute, Personal, Relative.

The problem occurs once your Personal mark doesn’t satisfy you, but your score greatly surpasses that of everyone else, relatively. And yet you still feel depressed because you could have done better. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to feel left out because you actually got a passing mark while everyone else failed, or maybe it’s because you tend value Personal above Relative, or maybe it’s humility. I dunno. But for people who are in the low ends of all three areas, it feels very self-depreciating and… grah.

Which, in a sense, is very pessimistic. By seeing only failures without seeming to pay attention to successes, it shows a very pessimistic personality. Either that or you push yourself too hard.

Anyways, I realize I’ve been doing the same thing. In viewing my life cynically, I miss out on all the good stuff. It’s kinda like inverse Gold 98FM advertisements, where you only hear the bad stuff. I keep formulating ideas in my mind which takes the worse possible outcome. I’m trying to steer myself away from this, but… it’s not easy.

Then there’s the scenario with KW. Basically we’re in the same MEW Question formulating group, but this weekend I was in one of this angsty-homework-clearing moods and I finished setting the questions and sent them to JK without consulting my partner. Then when he contacted me yesterday I was like, OMG I already sent them. I felt so… grah, like I always hated being left out then I go leave someone out. It’s like, crashing on my own ideals or something.

Then for GEP Camp electives, there's eleven subjects to choose from and I'm not particularly interested in any of them. So I'm going to choose Drama and I don't think there'll be anyone I know and Mr. Ferdi Quek is gonna go like, "Oh no, not you again!" when I step into his class. What fun.

And then today I forgot to get my OEP file. Again. Grah. I had to go the staff room, and I forgot. Grah.

It's been awhile.

[Quote of the post] "You said you'd be my friend, no matter what." -Terra, Teen Titans
[Song of the post] Lean on Me - Rockapella

Hi! Just realised that this is my 119th post. o_O The money should be pouring in soon...

Not much time, so this will be a short post.

Had a discussion with the Permanent Secretary of the MOE today, along with a whole bunch of GEP students from years 2 through 5. Hao Yi kept talking a lot, and Josh was referenced twice, but din't say anything. o_O He basically asked us about the GE programme, about the discrimination thing, about GEP social life, and if we could design our own GE programme, what it would be like, etc. The teachers were relatively quiet, but what was weird was that I knew every one of them. o_O

Workload has decreased slightly since I told Mr. Ng about the stress. Yay! But the 8 Days horoscope for Pisces warns me not to "be deceived by the belief that the work has decreased", or something to that effect. Urgh.

UYO tomorrow. I've been plonked back into the Founder's Day Marching Contingent. Bryan Zhao is getting very stressed. I got gloves!

Trying to be happier this past month. Started laughing more, keeping positive. Hope it can last. ^^

Uh, a parody of Collide by Howie Day.

One More Way to Die
The term is ending
But there's still work to do
You're hardly standing
But they pile more work on you
Yeah

I just can't take it
Breaking under pressure
I worry I won't see your face
Smile once again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the math that fills my mind
I somehow find
One more way to die

A test tomorrow
Fills you with great depression
And then there's UYO for four hours on end

Even the test will fail sometimes
Got things to to, juxt can't decide
And if your brain explodes on time
You somehow find
One more way to die

Don't stop there
Don't understand
I'm so confused

Remember your friends, your family
Hold onto them, they'll help you free
Out of the work that clouds your mind
I finally find
One way to survive

I finally find
One way to survive
I finally find
One way to survive

-----
Very scattered and short post, but it's because my brain has been on overwork for the past 6 weeks. I keep falling asleep on the bus and finding myself in Thomson. o_O

Gonna get my OEP file from the pigeon hole soon. Must keep reminding myself.

Bye!

Where is the Love

[Quote of the post] If you get there before I do
[Song of the post] You'll be in my Heart - Phil Collins, Tarzan

Untitled (Essay)
I open my eyes
I try to think but I'm blinded by the blank space
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
My mind is in a daze

And I can't take the stress
But it keeps coming everyday
Yes it's stealing recess

How could they test us today
I made my mistakes
No time; gotta run
The test goes on
As I'm failing away
I'm can't stand this strife
I just wanna scream
How could this happen today?

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
Just one last sentence sir
I gotta finish my graph
I wanna start this over again

So that I can pass
Into a grade that everyone's proud of
But I can't explain the answer
And I can't blanko the things that I've wrote
No I can't

How could this happen today
There should have been love
Instead we got tests
And a whole bunch
Of chemistry
And lots more homework
I just wanna know
Why did this happen today?

I ask you again
Where is the love?
The night's almost gone
And still nobody's said
The three special words
I just wanna love
Of all days, why Valentine's Day?

I'll be There for You

[Quote of the post] Your prison is walking through this world all alone.
[Song of the post] Desperado - Eagles

Eh... sorry I haven't been blogging for a while. Homework's been piling up so high that I'm afraid it might topple over and wash me away. I haven't even been writing TNN... Sorry if you thought was going to be a OEP post. Those will have to come later when I get back my file and my programme sheet. For now I'm just speaking my feelings again. Sigh.

I'm home an hour early because I had to go for a Campcraft competition briefing. That was a result of the two people who were supposed to go being absent. So I was volunteered to be a replacement. Sounds good, doesn't it? One less hour of UYO, plus no Campcraft training or drills. For most people it would be one of the best things that had ever happened.

Not for me. My body welcomed it; my physical health praised it. But my mind was screaming at me, my heart was hating it... Going all the way to Thomson to attend a briefing for a competition I didn't want to participate in the first place... have teammates which aren't all that... spectacular... having to plan, work, design all by yourself because everyone else slacks...

I swear, life is trying to drag me away from everything that matters to me. Homework cuts off TNN, thinking cuts off my happiness, and school cuts off my friends. You should have seen Juzzie's face when I went to say goodbye to him. He tried to look happy, smiling and all, but I think he was regretting that I had to go, that I wouldn't be a familiar face during the hours of Campcraft training.

There's something else that's cutting me away - myself. My gloomy face and dreary outlook is keeping people away. It's like everything goes in a whirlwind around me and I'm standing there in the middle of it all. Occasionally someone bumps into me, and we chat. But then they're off again, back into the vortex, spinning, whirling... if I try to get closer I may succeed for a while, then the topic changes to something I don't know, and I'm lost again... Know about Darwin's theory of evolution? When a species vanishes, other organisms evolve to take its place. It's happening right here. Gideon has moved out of my class, so I was changing to take his place. My actions, my character... laughing at things only I find funny, answering questions for Lit, being more vocal in class, clapping my hands when I laugh...

Can you be surrounded by friends and still be lonely? I find it hard to talk to people because I don't know the things they know. I know a bit about a lot of things; but I don't know everything about somehting... there's no common topic for long discussion... Demel can talk at length about GG and FF and games and anime and philosohpy with his social circle; Zhang has Japanese and anime and pop music; Boey has his group of friends; gamers, Christians, prefects, St. John's, music, philosophy, math, people who play DotA... I know a bit of each, understand the surface, touch upon slightly, but I don't know enough to understand, debate, converse. I belong everywhere; thus I don't belong anywhere. I'm not accepted, mostly just acknowledged, acquired. I can't even cling onto people I want to cling onto because I know what it's like to have someone cling onto you when you don't want him to.

Am I like Thannappa the postman, mingling with everyone, knowing everyone, an integral part of their lives, yet not crucial, just a friendly face, not belonging to any household but passing through just the same? Russ pointed out that Thannappa was slightly conformist as he went from house to house. Aren't I like that? When I'm talking to someone, some people will come up and tap me on the shoulder repeatedly, not caring about the other person at all. I'd be rude to the person I was talking to if I turned away, yet I'll be rude to the person requesting me because I didn't acknowledge him. And usually when I switch from person to person, the subject changes entirely. I could be talking about quantum metaphysics to the left, and I turn to listen to a lame pun on the right. I don't know if I'm the only one who noticed this, but Thannappa seems to value his friends more that his job. He said it was okay to complain, it was okay if he was dismissed from his job. But I did it to keep you happy. I carry your burden to keep you happy for the longest possible time.

You don't have to read all this. This is as much a diary as it is a public voice. Talking to myself in my head has made me like this; talking to Stripes isn't much better - he listens exceptionally well but he doesn't say anything. OEP memories will probably follow this one, below this post. Those would be happier, since they were happier memories.

Vietnam OEP 2006 Part VII: If

[Quote of the post] "Every job is a portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence."
[Song of the post] If - Bread
[Site of the post] http://www.smickandsmodoo.com/lyrics/if.htm

Today was our last OEP day. And today I finally managed to get Stripes and Pink on Kev's bed without him knowing. Lol! He woke up with Stripes in his face. Hee hee!

Okay, so after that we went to the Gia Dinh Special School for Intellectually Disabled Children. It was 3.9 and 3.17 the IB classes. Someone said it was ironic, sending the GEPs to this school instead of the handicapped children orphanage, but I think it's because we're smart enough to understand how to treat this kids. They were actually quite nice; they performed some traditional Vietnamese dance, and we performed our last-minute dance thing. And it was so fun! One of the smaller children actually came up on stage and tried dancing along with us! He was so cute! I don't know why 3.17 didn't do anything.

But Isaac was a genius. I think ie's because he lives with his younger siblings; that's how he does it. He put a sweet in each hand - the sweets we were meant to give out that we bought the day before - yeah, and he played the guessing game with some of the children. He was giving away the sweets, but in the most ingenius way I ever could imagine.

Oh, and I participated in the sack-race telematch thing which was quite fun also. I was trying hard not to win; but I won anyway. Oh well. But the kids there really loved music. They were singing and dancing so very enthusiastically; more than some people with normal working brains. It was just so... ah, words fail me.

After that, we headed to the Historical Museum, which held ancient Vietnamese artifacts from the 600s. I think they were rushing for time, because we only went halfway, up to about the 1000s, when we went to see the Water Puppet Show. It was really nice, but a bit ramshackle, with paint peeling off the puppets and some body parts literally hanging by a thread. But it was really nice, and quite well performed. They were in sync most of the time, and it was darn funny how they tried to catch fish by headbutting the water. XD

We had a bit of free time before lunch, so they let us roam Diamond Shopping Centre. It wasn't as big as Taka or J8 or Plaza Singapura, but it had an arcade on the top floor, and that's where everybody went. But I stuck with KW and Boey and got a box of Merci chocolates for Long, as a thank-you and farewell present. Oh, and we bought these shaker-fries thingy that you could pour cheese powder in and it tasted real good!

Then we went to the Le Quy Don School, and performed again, although this time it was a bit less polished. Ah well. Then they sang a couple of songs for us and played some sports with them: badminton and basketball. We got owned in both. A bunch of people, I won't say who, heard that there were some girls going around asking us for our email address, and went looking for them. Sigh.

But Mr Quek sang If during our visit. The first verse anyway. And, remember? I heard it on the radio on the way to the airport. It was so... coincidental and funny! And sir's voice is seriously very good. He managed to sing the whole verse, even though he said he had trouble remembering lyrics.

Anyway, here's the lyrics for If. The link at the top of this post brings you to a page with lyrics and a MIDI, so you can listen. I just love this song.

If - Bread
If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you
The words will never show
The you I've come to know
If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go
There's no one home but you
You're all that's left me too
And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me

If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through
Then one by one the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away

Nice song, right?

Anyway, after that we took a picture (which reminds me - must get pics from all my classmates) with some of the students from the school, then headed back to the hotel for the final farewell dinner.

There's something about that dinner that stuck with me. Maybe it's the fact that KW went in his sleep clothes. Maybe it's because the queue for food was miles long and people actually lined up for dessert first. Maybe it's because there were five people who had birthdays over the week. Maybe it's because it was the last supper, and the OEP would be over the next day.

Well, the food was good (I can only say it was worth the time it took lining up for it) and after the plates cleared, there was some last minute reflections and stuff where Mr. Lim randomly picked people to say stuff about the trip. Mostly politically-correct answers, so. Oh yeah, I was wearing my new orange cap; it was so cool. ^^

That night I tried finishing my Chinese worksheets; but then I changed my mind. I thought it would be better to spend the time with my friends instead. ^^

And end the last night!

Vietnam OEP 2006 Part III: Strawberries and Stripes

[Quote of the post] "When you are labouring for others let it be with the same zeal as if it were for yourself."
[Song of the post] I Love Rocky Road - Weird Al Yankovich

14 January 2006
In the morning we visited the Vien Sinh Hoc Biological Research Institute. I couldn't really understand what the guides were saying in their thick accents, but the exhibits just had a lot of models of endangered animals in Vietnam. I didn't bring my camera, but I got some of my friends to take pics of me in various poses with the animals. They were quite funny, but oh wells.

And that's where I bought Stripes! He's a cute plush tiger which only cost 60,000 VND which is about SGD $6. Whee! He's like my new pet. Darrell bought one too, but his was only 30,000 VND and was half the size. Ha! KW named him and gave him a ribbon, but that was later on, after...

The trek up LangBiang mountain was such the funnest thing. It's one of those activities which you will remember for years and years to come. First there was a 4X4 van to bring us halfway there, then we had to trek up the smaller hill and down again before climbing up the bigger one. I was helping Boey both up and down the steeper slopes. He's not a very good climber; I think he slipped twice on the way down. I did too. It was lucky that we were helping each other, or we would have both slid downhill all the way.

And here's something I wrote in my reflections. When we were climbing up and down the hill, I noticed that when Boey was helping me up, he didn't have to pull very hard. It was like, just the knowledge that someone's there to help you if you fall is enough to keep you from falling.

We overshot our schedule by about 2 hours. We were supposed to have lunch at 1230; it was 1430 when we arrived at the foot of the hill, and we were the last group. And we got cold lunch and they ran out of drinks and I had to try soda water. What a reward for the people who stayed behind to help, huh?

After that it was a rush throught the Strawberry farm and the Valley of Love. At the farm I couldn't like see the strawberries when I looked across the field on the account of my colour blindness and stuff. But when I went to pick them, it was actually because there weren't many red strawberries; most of them were unripe and white.

And the Valley of Love was rushed too. We were only there for 15 mins to take some pictures and that was it. It was a wonder we were able to do our descriptive writings at all. And I got attacked by the bronze eagle. Ask Shaun for a picture.

After dinner that night was our only night-event, where we went to Dream Hill and attended a Gong & Cheing Special Performance. It was performed by one of the Vietnamese ethnic minorty groups, and they danced and sang around a bonfire. And I participated too! It was fun, dancing with the people there. And the Jarrel Seah nonchalant walk! That was super funny! XD

End day 3!

Vietnam OEP 2006 Part II: Whose Line?

[Quote of the post] "There are some times silence is golden. Other times it is just plain yellow."
[Song of the post] Irish Drinking Song - Whose Line is it Anyway?

13 January 2006
Ooh, Friday the 13th. I didn't notice until KW pointed it out in our hotel room. Oh well. Nothing very unlucky happened that day. I think.

Anyway, that morning I changed some of my money to Vietnamese Dong. And I should have listened to Isaac about the Dong coming up. Acutally, I did listen to him, but when I went in the early morning the rate was the same as the day before, so I thought it wasn't going to change. Unfortunately, it went up after breakfast. Gaah.

After breakfast we left for DaLat. It's this city in the mountainous regions of Vietnam, about 7 hours journey in total. We stopped for lunch halfway at the restaraunt owned by the Tea Factory. Will get to that later.

Anyways, so the day was quite uneventful, because of the long journeys, but on the bus a bunch of us got together and started playing Whose Line is it Anyway games. It was so fun! And we somehow got Mr Ng to play as well. And he has this laugh which is so infectious that it's quite impossible to keep a straight face when he laughs. It was just great. And I think we infurated the driver because Vietnamese traffic is very dangerous and he couldn't concentrate. So we had to stop after awhile.

At about 1600 we reached the tea factory. It's not so much of a factory, more of a plantation. It's 90 hectares big with a 12 hectare lake and about 1 hectare of buildings. The factory block didn't even look very... factory-like. It was quite empty; the machines were few and not very numerous. But it takes about 36 hours for the tea to go through the entire process.

Oh, and the hotel was quite quaint. It was quite small, only four floors, and it had this old ornate lift with those manual-open doors. And they didn't even have air-conditioning; not like they needed it: there was just a small vent to allow air circulation with the outside and KW and I were freezing the whole night.

And a word about Vietnamese food. In a typical 7 course meal, there would be about 3 plates of vetables, 2 of seafood, and the rice only comes after the 4th or 5th dish. Quite unique.

And after dinner that night Mr Quek made us practise the dance we were going to perform later on in the trip. It was like, so fun and everyone else was being so unenthusiastic. And we actually had a crowd watching us! Well, three's a crowd, isn't it?

Well, I had KW for a roommate for the rest of the trip. He's probably like the most interesting roommate, what with mirror writing, rushing to answer the phone and door, and overall being a great guy... what more can I say? Oh, yeah, I can say some more stuff: there was a mini Eiffel Tower right outside out bedroom window.

And end day 2!

Vietnam OEP 2006 Part I: Flight Plan

[Quote of the post] "Many receive advice; only the wise profit from it."
[Song of the post] I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane - John Denver

OEP Vietnam 2006 is over. Already. One week. Eight days. All gone in a flash. It didn't seem long enough. Now I'm blogging about it. There'll be about eight posts, so don't espect to see all of them in one day. There may be some parts I blacked out; that's because it's censored or not everyone is meant to see it.

Yay, so let's start, shall we?

12th January 2006
We arrived at the airport at around 1245, 2 hours before our scheduled flight. Nothing much to say here, except that my dad talked to Juzzie a lot. Oh, yeah, and the radio in the car played "If", a wonderful song by Bread. This is relatively important; it will, coincidentally, appear again later.

Well, on the plane I was sitting with Kyle on my left and and asile and Xi Min on my right. Incidentally, Kyle brought the entire Ender saga to Vietnam and was reading it at every available moment. So anyways, it was basically 1 1/2 hours of Pokemon Leaf Green for the entire flight. The pasta was kinda nice, but airplane food just cannot compare.

We reached Ho Chi Minh City Airport at about 1745. Then we left for the Amara hotel. It's a 4-star place with nice furnishings, good food but the rooms are just too cold. When I was rooming with KW there in a later part of the trip, we turned the thermostat to twenty-eight, put it on "Low", wore three layers and even turned it off. And it still was cold.

Anyways, after that we went on a riverboat for dinner. During dinner there was live entertainment, and there were performers and singers singing a mixture of English oldies, Chinese songs and Vietnamese pop. Then, when our steamboat arrived (see Vietnamese food, below), the lady started singing Jambalaya. It's this old country song from the '60s, '70s. So I started singing it (they were mostly oldies that most people 'cides Juzzie don't know). Thing is, I was sitting at the end of the table closest to the performers; the tables were long and running parallel to the deck of the ship. So the lady came up to me and put the mike at my mouth. She helped me through the chorus a bit, since I didn't know it that well. Then when the song ended she came over to our table and chatted a bit, and helped us with our steamboat (not eat it, helped us put the food in, regulate the time and stuff like that). And she was very nice; when I said thank you to her in Vietnamese, she smiled and said, "You speak Vietnamese!" and laughed.

Well, after that I had no peace. I was wearing my white cap almost 24/7, and so I stuck out from the crowd. Add that to the singing, and that sealed it. Later that night, when Mr Lim, overall in cahrge of the whole OEP, came by to check on our rooms to see if we were sleeping, his parting words were, "Nice singing just now." o_O

Anyway, after the food we went for a short cruise up and down the Mekong River. Oh, everything in Vietnam is Vina. Taxis are called Vinataxis, ships are Vinaships, yoghurt is called Vinamilk, and there's a travel agency called VinaSun Travels.

At night is usually debrief, meaning that we discuss the day's events and about the worksheets we're supposed to complete, so I usually won't log them except if there's something really interesting. And we're supposed to write reflections every night. I'm not posting them here either. My first reflections started out, "This isn't reflections. This is blogging without the Internet." And I think they're too angsty to write here. But there'll be some topics I'll be discussing.

And that's it for Day 1!

Edna's Game

[Quote of the post]
"We may be young, but we're not powerless. We play by their rules long enough and it becomes our game." -Valentine, Ender's Game
"Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf. Survival first, then happiness as we can manage it." - Mazer Rackham to Ender, Ender's Game
[Song of the post] 2001 - A Space Odyssey

"Individual human beings are all tools, that the others use to help us all survive."
"That's a lie."
"No. It's just a half truth. You can worry about the other half after we win this war."
Colonel Graff and Ender - Ender's Game

Democracy is flawed. What use is freedom of speech if you can't use it? I've just had a ________ day of UYO, and I'm not allowed to say anything about it because if I do I'll have the Sedation Law and the principal and the officers chasing me to the ends of the earth.

Ender's Game, by far, is the most excellent book I've read in a long, long, long time. I can actually tell I'm experiencing the exact same things. Orson Scott Card has insight into the mind of a child, going through the same things I, and I daresay 'we' are living today. ('We' as in students in Singapore in my school)

Ender's Game is basically about a six-year-old boy genius who is forced to join the International Federation to save the world from the third bugger invasion. From that age, he is put through rigourous training, tests of character and skill, and many mind games to test if he is the one who will lead the I.F. command fleets.

Doesn't the education system sound very similar? Training you up for your future job, while robbing your childhood as you go along? Ender's is a very extreme case; how about ours? We have 7 hours of school, plus CCAs, homework time... what time have we left to ourselves, to pursue our dreams, to continue our hobbies? In refining us to gentlemen, global citizens or future leaders of tomorrow, have they overlooked the fact that we are children? That we are human beings and have our limits? And out own lives. What is to become of them?

The answer is survival. One of the most fundamental aspects of nature. They train us, educate us, so that we may take over from them, to succeed the throne when they have moved on. For the future. Nobody looks at the present. Nobody cares about what's going on now. All that matters is that the future is going to be a better place. Sacrificing one for the needs of many. For the greater good.

Another thing. Army training. I understand that being harsh and strict is the only way for disipline, and with disipline you have order, and when you have order you have a killer army, blah blah blah. But the thing about superior officers insulting you. Mocking you when you're in pumping position. It make you hate them more, makes you want to jump up and knock him to the ground. But you can't. Conscience holds you down. Fear holds you back. You just bear it. You can't do anything.

In WWII, the Soviets trained dogs to look for food underneath a tank. Then they would strap a mine to the dog's back and send them into a tank battle. The idea was that the dogs would run under the enemy tanks and blow them up. Grusome, isn't it? Except that the Soviets had been training the dogs with Soviet tanks, so, naturally, the dogs ran under the Soviet tanks.

There's so much more I want to write, but time restricts me, and censorship holds me back. And when you're thinking of all kinds of stuff to blog about when you're coming home at 6:30pm from your UYO, you kinda lose most of it during dinner and the time before you blog. So I leave you with this quote from Ender's Game:

"I am your enemy, the first one you've ever had who was smarter than you. There is no teacher but the enemy. No one but the enemy will tell you what the enemy is going to do. No one but the enemy will ever teach you how to destroy and conquer. Only the enemy shows you where you are weak. Only the enemy tells you where he is strong. And the rules of the game are what you can do to him and what you can stop him from doing to you. I am your enemy from now on. From now on, I am your teacher."- Mazer Rackham to Ender ("Ender's Game" pgs. 262-263, 1994 Special Edition)

First Day of School

[Quote of the post] "School is like a drug. A nasty, non-cocaine-like one albeit, but a drug nevertheless..." -Manga Freak
[Song of the post] Diamond Dust Drops - Hop Step Jump

What is it with science-fiction writers and their superb writing? Dang, I'm only halfway through Ender's Game and already I can't put it down. The plot, the description, the characterization... all amazing. It's better than any fantasy story I've ever read. Any sci-fi I've read so far surpasses all expectations. It's like, they're at the exceptional section of the writing social circle. o_O And the foreword was wonderfully written as well; it's so amazing, and I actually understand and agree with everything the author says. And Jarrel can memorize the first chapter! Unbelieveable. I seriously recommend Ender's Game to anyone and everyone in need of a good book.

Ah well. First day of school. Not too bad. Got some quite nice teachers this year. Let's just say I'm so glad I chose Geography instead of Bio. Ms. Sim seems like a nice, friendly teacher.

And of course, first day of school, Doctor Ong has to make an hour-long speech about how good the school is and etc. Gaah, they didn't even turn on the air-con; I almost fell asleep.

Yay, and no homework. Yet. That allows me to read Ender's Game, and do some drawing and colouring. ^-^

K, that's it. Have a nice year, everybody.

Boxing Night Part II - A Year in Review

[Quote of the post] Should all acquaintence be forgot and never brought to mind?
[Song of the post] Auld Lang Syne - Traditional

*tuning*

...here on Perfect 10 radio...

*tuning*

...is the BBC, and here are today's top stor...

*tuning*
...and "CATG" from the Neuclotides.

E.D.N.A. Radio. The best of the worst hits.

Coming up next is a long ramble by our own resident angster who's been with us for a year, please give a big welcome to Uncle Edna...!

-----

Another year ending, another one beginning. I felt 2005 was special because, if you typed it out on a calculator, it was vertically symmetrical. But that's not the only reason.

2005 was the year of Sec 2, the year of Naphtali. It was this year that TNN started, way back in February. It now boasts over 40,000 words, over 40 chapters, and an audience of... about a dozen students - an amazing accomplishment.

It was in 2005 that adolescence kicked in, when I started thinking deeper into things I never even dreamt of before. I tried to understand the people around me. Even though I found hope to be the greatest sadness, I still hoped. I still tried. I even tried to understand myself, though it has been a confusing process.

In 2005, I've lived through a whole year's worth of human emotion. Friendship. Hatred. Comfort. Pain. Failure. Triumph. Joy. Laughter. Tears. Sadness. Angst. Frustration. Reunion. Separation. I've lived through it, I've seen the fifty odd people around me live through it, and the rest of the 6 billion people populating this planet. We've gone through one heck of a year. The happiness we shared. The tears we cried. The pain we endured. The bonds we made. The friends we cherished. The events we novelized. The impact we made on this earth.

Sometimes, it seems as though that life isn't worth living. That you can do nothing to change the course of history. That you're incapable of making an impression on the world in your lifetime. I don't blame you. Over the course of the year we've had tsunamis. We've had terrorist attacks. We've had pandemics. Life and death all mixed up in a great whirl of evolution. But when you look at it from a different angle, you see the greatness in all of this too. Each event brings out the bad in some people, but in some, the good.

Take this from a broader perspective. No, even broader. During the final moments of 2005, scientists added an extra "leap second" to compensate for earth's rotation, and to keep the time accurate. Why go through all this trouble? Why do we celebrate New Year's Day year after leap year?

It's because of time. Time just keeps going. Time never stops. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, the seconds go ticking by, turning into minutes, turning into hours. They just keep going. And whether you're fulfilling your dreams or stuck in a toilet, they don't wait for you. They don't care if you can't keep up. Lots of people say they've no time to do what they want to do. That's a lie. Each and every person on this planet is given exactly 24 hours a day to make use of as they see fit. You have as much time as anybody else. Nobody's at an advantage or a disadvantage. 24 hours. What are you going to do with yours?

Next year's another new year. Another 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds. Do you know what's gonna happen? No. None of us do. We can only predict; we can only foresee. They might not come true. Here's another problem with me that I forgot to add in the previous post: When you hope for the future, there can be two possibilities, what I like to call "Fiction" and "Reality". I've an example, but it'll probably get me expelled, so here's another one. You're at home, and your parents are lecturing you for something they think you've done. You want to try and explain things to them. Fiction tells you that they'll listen, understand, maybe pat you on the back and apologise, and everything will be cleared up. Reality tells you that you'll try, not be heard, get sent to your room so you can curl up on the bed in tears. Fiction and reality.

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*tuning*

...come back, and in twenty seconds, the year 2006 is about to start. I hope everyone has their new year resolutions ready... and don't forget about the leap second... here it comes! 4! 3! 2! 1! 0! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

*Auld Lang Syne*

*Radio switches off*

The Music Quiz

[Quote of the post] HAPPY NEW YEAR!
[Song of the post] 20 of them... try and guess!

Hey everyone! Happy New Year! I'll br posting a proper one later tonight, but for now you'll just have to life with this quiz thing stolen from Demel stolen from JY stolen from Charlotte and that's as far as I can trace it.

Step 1: Get your music thinger ready, put it on random, and play.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song the lines come from
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly, or let people know who got it.

1) I am a question to the world, not an answer to the earth, or a moment that's held in your arms... [Bit obvious]

2) Oh no, not he, how you can accuse him is a mystery... save him, take me... Benjamin is straighter than the tall palm tree... [This one's more obscure...]

3) I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay... [o_O Super easy...]

4) Let us be together, striving to achieve, no matter what, no matter when, working hand in hand... [Darn easy lah...]

5) Pharoh he was a powerful man, with the ancient worl in the pal of his hand... [Obscure...]

6) Wish I was back in Texas, the ocean's no place for a squirrel... [This is a very weird song]

7) Now I'm the king of the swingers, oh, the jungle VIP... [Two versions]

8) Birds flying high, you know how I feel... [Zhang, probably...]

9) There's antimony, arsenic, aluminium, selenium
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium [o_O]

10) Boom boom boom boom boom boom
Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom [HAHAHA! XD]

11) I can see what's happening, and they don't have a clue... [Easy]

12) The road is long, with many a winding turn... [Slightly hard, if you love pop]

13) Feel I'm going back to Massachusetts, something's telling me I must go home... [Slightly easy]

14) I almost got drunk in school at fourteen, where I almost made out with the homecoming queen... [o_O EASY]

15) It's good to see the sun
And feel this place
This place I never thought would feel like home... [Kinda easy... I think... if you watch credits...]

16) Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doing the best that I can... [Funny song, not on my list, but on the Net]

17) You don't need a plane to fly... plastic wings may make you cry... [o_O Lol, another easy but obscure song]

18) I open my eyes, try to see but I'm blind... [Grah... my bro's, but in the library...]

19) Bless my soul, Herc was on a roll, person of the week in every Greek opinion poll [A giveaway]

20) I used to think maybe you love me, now baby I'm sure... [O_O ARGH SO EASY...]

That's it! About one-third of my music is instrumentals, and a lot came up, so... hope you have fun!