Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Click the X. You know you want to.

[Quote of the post]
"Pun (n.): the lowest form of humour" —Samuel Johnson, lexicographer
"…but the height of wit." —common rebuttal to the above
"…when you didn't think of it first." —common rebuttal to the above (that is, the above which is above that immediately above) [Wikipedia]
[Song of the post] I 2 I - A Goofy Movie

I am going to attempt to explain my feelings for this past week. If you are easily frightened or have a severe disposition I recommend you click the little X in the corner of your screen or click the little left arrow directly opposite the little X. You'll probably find something more happy than a fourteen-year-old ranting about stuff he doesn't completely comprehend.

First off, I'd like to thank Herrick for helping me philosophically solve my problem. A big 'Thank You!' also goes out to Henry for writing me a very nice email, which, sadly, is something nobody does nowadays. Henry must still have some of the British customs alive in him.

By the way, we've got MASSIVE respect going out to Gid and Herrick, for trying to comfort me (either by hugging or psychiatry, or both). Even more MASSIVE respect goes out to Herrick because, unlike Gid, he doesn't try to smother you in his jacket, nor blind you with logic.Massive respect. Yo.

Basically, now I feel that I have no real 'selling point' except for my position, my friendliness, and my humour. But even the first two cannot garner me the respect of my friends. You may have heard of this before, but, for example's sake: Even though I'm class chairman, nobody (the term is used very loosely here) listens to me in class. Heck, they take the teachers' niceness and patience for granted. Like today, when there was a lesson observation, it was the quietest Literature Lesson of the year. I feel that I am being used. My parody of Welcome to my Life says it all, really: they chose me as chairman so I could be a scapegoat and keyholder.

I dunno. If this were a test of human relationships, the majority of my class would fail. You see in some of them attitudes worse than the worst of mainstreamers (and I'm also saying this because of my UYO squad). It's human nature, and Dr. Demel says, live with it.

But I can't. How am I supposed to live with something that irritates me? My human nature is to try and help everyone, no matter what (except for some cases in which I have to make an exception). Maybe that's why I write superhero stories. Ever since I was introduced to the Vs. System, I got hooked on the idea of superheroism. I felt that I was helpless because I couldn't help anyone with any of my strengths. So I made humour my superpower. I tried to help people with laughter. But no, according to Dr. Demel, people now view me as the personification of humour, and that is the way they'll always see me. So I'm stuck here.

Then there's the whole business with Kwong. Everybody likes him. Who doesn't? Nobody can not like Kwong and live with his conscience. He's got that likeable personality that just attracts people to him. He is, and I quote Bassanio: "[One of the] dearest friend[s] to me, the kindest man, the best-conditioned and unwearied spirit in doing courtesies, and one in whom the ancient Roman honour more appears than any that draws breath in [Naphtali]." Thus, I, having the same name as he, feel that we have this bond between us - this bond of identity, of namesake. So, I feel, it's like this tribe of Kevins against all other forces, like Shylock against the rest of the Christian world. O wise Daniel is one who discriminates against Kevins in general, so I feel that we are going through life together, as members of the same tribe. So I places both of us on equal footing. Thus, if I get left behind, I tend to feel left behind. I feel lonely if he doesn't talk to me (I feel lonely if ANYBODY didn't talk to me, so this point's pretty moot). Like I said, it's this bond. And whether Shylock will keep to it, or have his bond, only time will tell.

I guess I am in the wrong too. I can't make the world live to my ideals. Don't you think I sound too selfish? Too idealistic? So confused I sound like I'm against my own ideals? Too bad. You're just gonna have to live with it. I have too, too. Unless you'd like to change me. I'd be more than happy if you'd like to try. More happy than I am now, I mean.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I'm sick.

[Quote of the post] "You have UYO tomorrow?! That's terrigible!" -Kevin Wong
[Song of the post] Welcome to my Life - Parody

No, I'm not physically sick. It's something else. The school bus rides are now so bumpy and so crammed with people it's tighter than fish in a sardine can, and I can't sleep anymore. This brings rise to some interesting philosophical realizations, usually in my head.

Daniel asked me yesterday, "Do you think life's a stage?" I say no. I believe the choices we make have an effect on the world, even though some of these choices may only seem to have insignificant outcomes. I mean, if our life was already planned out by some higher power, or if we are just pawns in some Game of the Galaxy, wouldn't that be a bit boring?

I am an idealist. At least, I think I am an idealist. That's why I'm sick now.

I'm sick of UYO every Friday. I'm sick of the fact that I have UYO tomorrow until six and exams in two weeks. I'm sick of having people liking me for my humour, and not for who I am. I'm sick of people taking advantage of me and my kindness. I'm sick of people attacking me for no good reason. I'm sick of the injustice in the world. I'm sick of the fact that we are all limited by certain conventions of society. I'm sick of the fact that even I can't control myself. I'm sick of the fact that I lie to myself. I'm sick of being unappreciated. I'm sick of the fact that I cannot work with other people in a gropu for a change. I'm sick of being angsty. I'm sick of being sick.

I have UYO tomorrow. Two weeks to exams, and I have UYO tomorrow. As Kevin Wong says, that's terrigible. Spending three-and-a-half hours tying knots and pitching tents for a promotion test is going overboard. Do policemen marchin real life? No. Do they tie knots in real life? No. Do they pitch tents in real life? No.

That's why I write TNN. In TNN, everything goes smoothly. Nothing can go wrong. Even if the odds are stacked against you, you'll pull through. You can actually do something, instead of sitting around and tying knots when you could be studying for an exam. Action >>> Reaction, not compliance. The superhero's guise is a mask he can use to fight injustice.

You say the world's not fair. Then what's the use of having this world? Where's the justice? Are superheroes just characters in a two-dimensional world whose ideals and justifications do not apply to our real world?

As a happier side note, there was Engligh Orals today. Here's a number of things not to do during your examinations:
  1. Say that your religion bans you from reading this text.
  2. Memorize a section of a famous Shakespearean text. Recite this instead of your reading.
  3. Check the time before you enter. Start with, "Welcome to the <
  4. Roll your paper into a cigarette.
  5. Fold it into a paper aeroplane.
  6. Try bribing the teacher.
  7. Adopt a Chinese-educated accent.
  8. Tell the teacher in English that you cannot speak English.
  9. Make a list of words before you enter the room. Force yourself to use these words in your conversation.
  10. Sneeze onto the paper during picture description. Ignore it until you get to that area, then say, "On the left there is a big blob of mucus..."
  11. During conversation, drive your point home with lots of table-slamming and finger-pointing.
  12. When the teacher asks you a question, crack-up. Do this for about half a minute every time she asks you something.
  13. Grab his/her hand and say that palm-reading is a component in the exam.
  14. Compliment him/her. Say things like, "Hey, gorgeous!" or "Hey, handsome!"

Kudos to Gid for coming up with most of them.

Monday, September 19, 2005


[Quote of the post] Ahoy thar! Be wishin' all ye landlubbers a Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!
[Song of the post] Pirates of the Carribean - Disney

My pirate name is:
Mad Davy Kidd
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

You Are A Pirate!

You Are A Pirate!

What Type Of Swashbuckler Are You?
brought to you by Maddog Varuka & Dawg Brown

Arrr! Them landlubbers these days, nobody be takin' Talk like a Pirate Day seriously. I'd be writin' me captain's blog, and I'd be thinkin', why? TLAP Day be introduced in 1995 by an olde column writer. It be a day to be havin' fun, yellin', "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!" while ye take a swig from ye water bottle, or call ye shipmates "landlubber" or "scalawag" or other piratey stuff. It be the only day where ye might acutally find such fine words like "swashbuckler" or "buccaneer" or "keelhaul" bein' used in normal conversation. It be saddening. Shiver me timbers.

Aye, I'd be makin' some names for the salty sea-dogs in me crew aboard the Naphtali. I'd be Cap'n Klow, and this is me crew roll-call:
  1. (Red) Herrrick
  2. Cutlass Kwong (Arrr, this be less murderous)
  3. Scalawag Shaun, Sailor of ye Seven Seas (and with ye olde alliteration)
  4. Black-Eyed Josh
  5. Two-Eyed Gid
  6. Jun Yi the Spiky one
  7. Darrrell
  8. Jarrrel
  9. Bryan Blackbeard
  10. Peg-Leg Peter
  11. Untuck Job
That be all I can remember.

Aye, I'd be in a service apartment now. Me olde house be undergoin' upgradin', and me new house be undergoin' construction. So I'd be stuck here for a month. It be like a hotel, so it ain't too like-the-brig.

It be hard throwin' away me olde nicknacks. Me new house be havin' new furniture, so me olde chairs and sofa had to go. Aye, not even for a couple of dubloons. Given away. Me dad's own plunder.

Arrr, me be disheartened nobody be speakin' like a swashbuckler on TLAP Day. Ye olde language of the pirates be lost forever. May me cap'n's blog be a reminder to all ye people, landlubbers or buccaneers, who tried to make a difference by doin' somethin' out o' the ordinary. Aye salute you. And, Arrr, have a jolly Talk like a Pirate Day, or at least what's left of it. Arrr.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Ahoy, thar! We'd being chased...

[Quote of the post] "By the powers, would ya look...!" John Silver, Treasure Planet
[Song of the post] I'm Still Here - Johnny Rzenik, Treasure Planet

Ahoy, matey! It be Talk like a Pirate day tomorrow, so I'd be practising! Ye better get used ter it!

It's been a while since I've blogged, so first: an update.

Prefect interview went okay. I like knew two thirds of the poeple on the interviewer panel! Jeremy, Daniel, Sujesh was my Camp Instructor, and Andrew Tay reads my blog. o_O Thing is, I think all of them read my blog. O_O Yes, it's freaky. They kept referring to stuff there, like the time I got angsty. It's freaky...

Well, I'm now blogging from a service apartment somewhere in Singapore. I'm not giving specific addresses because I know some people who read my blog *ahemahempbahemahem* who have access to Orbital Ion Cannons or the Mafia or something, so... YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!

Got exams coming up and it's gonna be kinda weird studying from this service apartment (now known as s.a. for short). It's kinda small, but quite cozy.

Talk like a Pirate Day tomorrow, can hardly wait.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I'm sick. Again.

[Quote of the post] "No more Bhangra - there's been a lot of Dengue fever lately..." -Dhanesh
[Song of the post] When you Wish Upon a Star - NSYNC

Well, I've been sick again. Third time this year, or so my mom says. This means more of my paranoid brother, less of school, more lying in bed all day with nothing to do...

And especially since Prefect Camp a couple of days ago nicely tenderized my biceps and calf muscles, the raging fever I got two nights ago aggravated the muscles-under-construction, and now I can barely walk, I can't raise my arm over my head, my parents fear I've got Dengue fever, and, oh, did I mention? I've got some ear infection, so my left ear's pretty moot.

I hate being sick.

What with all this Dengue fever and all. Funny it became such a major outbreak like SARS in a matter of days. It's unbelieveable. Now insect repellant prices are dropping, mosquito-killing-fog is rising, and I'm still sick stuck at home.

I can't be bothered to write so much now. My ear is, well, not working and I'm very troubled about it. Well. Cya.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

The perfect prefect.

[Quote of the post]
[Song of the post] Brave and Bold - ACS Cheer

Well. Back from Prefect camp. There is much to say, but not much space to say it.

Firstly, I want to say that this camp has changed me. I'm not sure about the ways and ideals they talked about, but sure in one thing: I'm beginning to talk like the instructors. It's freaky and loud and rude at the same time. *Shudder* It's freaky when you start leaving pauses every two syllables like Jin, or keep asking questions with an "it it?" at the back. Freaky.

Anyways, prefect selection camp was much slacker than last year. Seriously. I've been to both, and it's not pretty. There was less screaming but more cheering, less pumping but more holding in pumping position. This year they let you convert to crunches if you couldn't take it. We only touched the parade square twice, and only left out hands to fry for about fifteen minutes total.

There's a lot of stuff and I'm too tired to type it all here, but here's a parody of Weird Al Yankovic's Eat It (which is a parody of Michael Jackson's Beat It) and it pretty sums up this camp. By the way, pumping means push-ups, knock it down means get into pumping position, and hit it is what they yell when they want you to start a cheer.

Hit it
When you first come to camp they’re gonna say it ain’t fun
They tell you, “Knock it down!”; the pain has just begun
You run when they say walk and you fly when they say run
So hit it, just hit it

You better cheer, you better shout what you can
Don't wanna feel the floor, don't be a macho man
You wanna be good, better plan before hand
So hit it, don’t you hesitate now

Just hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it
Don’t you make him repeat it
Shout AC Warrior or scream Brave and Bold
You may not know it but you have been told
Just hit it, hit it Just hit it, hit it
Just hit it, hit it Just hit it, hit it

Hey don’t you know you’ve got to learn your nine cheers
When you’re in pumping position you persevere
Get lost in five seconds when they shout “Disappear”
So hit it, just hit it

You have to show them that you're really not scared
You're playin' with your health, this ain't no truth or dare
They'll pump you, and yell at you, and they'll tell you it's fair
So hit it, don’t you hesitate now

Just hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it
If you’re not well admit it
Showin' unity and loudness of cheer
It doesn't matter if you cannot hear
Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it
Your assignment, submit it
Have a fire drill in the dead of night
Hope the dead “corpses” don’t give you a fright
Just hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it

Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it
You’ve got some teeth so grit it
Where’s your encouragement, don’t cheat your friends
Instructors shout stuff you can’t comprehend
Hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it

Don’t you dare try and quit it
Have some salt water, have a light snack
Then the next morning you pump on the track.
Just hit it.

I've also compiled a list of common phrases used this camp.

Most loved word: RECOVER!
Most hated two words: HIT IT!
Most imitated three words: *in Andrew Tay accent* HIT IT! THUNDERATION!
Most dreaded six words: How many of you cannot run?
Most dreaded ten words: I give you two minutes, go to the field now.
Most interesting insult: Hey, Sujesh! They're not jokes anymore. They're brainteasers.
Most confusing phrase: When we say walk, you jog. When we say jog, you run. When we say run, you fly. So, field, two minutes, FLY!

Happy prefect's camp and have a good holiday.