Monday, October 09, 2006


I am so going to hate Geog tomorrow.

1. Why does the graph show low temperatures throughout the year even though the country is located near the equator? (3m)

There are many factors which which could have influenced the shape of the graph. The temperature could have been accidentally mistaken in say, oh, I dunno, maybe a certain super-freezing ice-cold boarding school examination hall with sickening subzero temperatures and snow all year round.

3. c) Explain why snow forms. (6m)

Someone turned up the air-conditioning to full blast at the lowest possible temperature.

42. f) (xii) XXVIII. Describe the problems caused by primitive farming techniques. (1m)

Primitive farming techniques include slash-and-burn methods practiced in many areas of Indonesia. Because of the large-scale buirning of trees, thick haze is produced, and winds may carry it over Southeast Asia. The increase in pollutants in the atmosphere contributes to the global warming effect, raising temperatures on a worldwide level. If such this happens, then people will resort to turning down the temperature of their air-conditioning units to attempt to cool themselves. However, not everyone is able to take such frigid temperatures, because of Darwin's theory of Evolution and genetic reasons. Therefore these people will freeze and slowly become extinct. When the frozen people are thrown of of the hall building, their thawing corpses will decompose, which will fertilize the soil. This makes it easier for trees to grow, which farmers will burn down using primitive farming techniques. And thus the cycle begins again.


Friday, October 06, 2006


Suicide in the Exams

I knew a simple student boy,
Who lived through school in simple joy.
Not the class's brightest spark,
But still he gets an average mark.

In winter exams cold and glum,
With chills and frost and feeling dumb,
His answers all froze in his brain,
Did nothing except freeze in pain.

You angry bunch with icy heart,
Who can't stand noise when it all starts,
Go home, cool off, and never know,
The hall where cold and icy snow.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


"Hey Andrew. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I've just got this bomb defusal test tomorrow, and I don't feel like studying for it."

"Oh yeah, that one. I hate bomb defusal. Do you know how complicated it is? All the tangle of wires! Why can't terrorists design simple bombs for a change?"

"That's not what I'm worried about. You know the test was set long ago right? Way at the beginning of the year?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I just find it very... well, I don't know how to say it. The test is already fixed; the test detonator tomorrow is already set, and we have to memorize this thick a book just to defuse one bomb."

"Yeah, I know, but once we become qualified, we'll be able to help people, if terrorists use a different bomb."

"Yeah, but still. I mean it's kind of a hit-or-miss thing, isn't it? The question is already there, and so now we're just memorizing the answer to every possible question in the hopes that it comes out tomorrow. It's so... based on chance."

"Well, that's one way of putting it. You know what I hate though? It's the stupid instructors. They keep prowling around the defusal area, breathing down your neck. They even demand that you stop smiling. Like it's not stressful enough that you're defusing a nuclear warhead; you've got to be serious doing it? And you know the new rule?"

"What new rule?"

"You know the padded gloves? The ones we have to use at all times in case it's we come across a biochemical warhead? Yeah, they said that unless we use the ones sold in the camp, we're not allowed to use them at all!"

"What? Why?? The padded gloves they sell here aren't thick enough; they're no protection at all. I just bought my own gloves; they're thicker and provide more protection. You mean they're not allowed?"

"Nope. I heard the Sargeant say, 'If you don't have the camp ones you won't be able to wear them at all!' So I guess they aren't allowed."

"That makes totally no sense at all! There's no reason whatsoever to use the camp gloves; outside ones serve the exact same purpose; they even function better! This is so stupid!"

"Tell me about it. I heard rumour say that it's because they're trying to make a profit in this, by banning gloves from external sources they make a lot of money selling their own."

"Why that's outrageous!"

"Yeah, well, it is just a rumour though. And you know their excuse for those who don't have army gloves? 'You've been here three years already; don't tell me you don't have one.' What utter nonsense."

"Alright, I better go memorize every single bomb defusal kit. See you later, Paul."

"Good luck, friend."

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


[Song of the post] Fragments of Memories - Final Fantasy VIII

AskEdna! Frequently Asked Questions

"Do you have notes for this subject'?"

While the AskEdna database is vast and equipped to answer many of your questions, I'm afraid downloading of specific files is disallowed under our strict copyright policy. The AskEdna! program is not designed to create files for every subject under the freezing cold air-con. Therefore while at some times we may be able to fulfil your request, chances are we aren't as efficient as other programs in coming up with notes for your reading pleasure.

Nevertheless, notes can be found here free for downloading. Please remember that these files are copyright of their respective owners under legal law.


Well, the obvious answer here is: the same way you study for A Maths. Next question please.

"What question are you choosing for Language Arts?"
"Are you choosing Crucible or poems?"

Our database isn't designed to cope with this kind of question. Our lead developers had to resort to the use of a coin flip to determine answers for technical queries such as this.

"Oi, can you please hurry up?"

The design and processing integrated into the AskEdna! system has very major flaws, the main one being: it is human. Human programs tend to be slower than other types of programs, absent from their keyboards, refreshing memory banks, or handling multiple queries at the same time. Unfortunate as it may be, we are unable to upgrade our systems. Please bear with us.

"Can you help me with Physics? I can't do it."

Sorry, we found too many results to match your query. Try using keywords or an actual question to refine your search. Try not to ask queries like this because they drain server space.

"How do I prepare for this subject?"

Read your notes. Know thy mistakes. Stop wasting time asking questions like this and go mug.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


[Quote of the post] "Because it is my jacket! Because I can never have another one in my life! I hahve given you my sweater; leave me my jacket!"
[Song of the post] You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban

I wonder how people take exams at the North Pole.

"Stop talking! Stop smiling!" shouted the teacher from the front. "If not I'll make you stay back until sunset today to help me gut fish."

"Er, sir?" one student asked bravely. "Sunset today is at 1.30pm. It's winter you know right? If you can count it as winter," he added.

Just as the teacher was about to retort, another student raised his hand. Suppressing his anger, the teacher turned to the new boy. "Yes?"

"Sir? I'm just asking... could you turn down the temperature?"

"What do you mean?" growled the teacher.

"Well, the heaters are turned up to the maximum, and it's too hot! I mean even our tables are melting, and our papers are getting wet." the student held a soggy sheet of paper to emphasize his point.

"No...! You think you're hot? How about all the others who are cold? I can't turn down the heaters just because you are hot, you have to think of the others as well!"

"Alright sir, then can we at least be allowed to take off our uniforms? The polar bear-skin coat is making me sweat so much I'm as wet as my exam paper."

"No...! Unless your underwear is school-branded, you're not allowed to show it! Your coat is school-branded; that's fine, but you're not allowed to flaunt non-school clothing in school. You know that!"

"But I'm melting in here!"

"Too bad! You should be lucky you have heaters, you know? In my day we had nothing, just blocks of ice and our fur coats. I had to rub myself down with seal blubber before coming to school! Be lucky you've got heaters!"

And thus the students had to take their exams in swealtering hot conditions.


Monday, October 02, 2006


[Quote of the post] "I wanted to give you this bookmark, but it's in the book, how? Never mind; I'll give you the book too." --Mr Ng
[Song of the post] Boston - Augustana

Hello! I realized I haven't posted in a long time, and I haven't posted anything useful in a long time, so this time since I'm a bit happier and less angsty and everything, I'm going to past a rant. Whee!


Exams have started and today was Language Arts Unseen Written Commentary Paper One. Passage, ironically enough, was from NARAYAN. Oh well. I think I'm gonna fail. OH WELL. At least I haven't failed yet.

And then the poem. RAHH RAHH RAHH -__-

Of all the poems they could have chosen, they had to choose something involving Ted Huges' frozen tractor. -__- I mean, just look at it! "Freezing", "Subzero", "Icy", "Chilly"... words like that appeared every five words. Normally this would be fine and all, but there was too much cold imagery. I couldn't warm up to it. And then coincidentally our exam takes place in the STUPIDLY FREEZING BOARDING SCHOOL DINING HALL with SUBZERO TEMPERATURES and what's even more important that ANYTHING THAT ISN'T SCHOOL RELATED IS BANNED. Which means I freeze. Go figure.

Oh well, rant over. I hate frozen tractors. Good luck for the rest of the week!