Less Than 45

Less Than 45 parody of 1985 by Bowling for Soup

Woohoohoo
Woohoohoo

Debbie just hit the wall
She thought she had it all
Great World Lit essay
Excellent TOK
Her dreams went out the door
When she received her score
Only got forty-two
What is she gonna do?

She was gonna be an doctor
She was gonna go real far
She was gonna be a judge
Or maybe a superstar
Prestigous scholarships
Now look like comic strips
Looks at her average points
And wonders how she'll apply for

John Hopkins, and Princeton,
Imperial College London
There was Cambridge, Trinity
And places still at MIT
Her parents share her stress
No point trying NUS
'Cause you can't, can't just apply
With less than, less than, less than 45

Woohoohoo
(Less than 45)
Woohoohoo

She’s done all the IAs
Footnotes every line
CAS, Mathematics
Every sine and cosine
She had interviews
Student Council through and through
Thought she’d get a shot
At something in a high paid slot

Where’s the scholarships and the invites?
Maybe she'd do better jumping from a great height
When did 'below forty' mean 'no degree'?
Whatever happened to offers, career fairs,
(All the millionaires from)

John Hopkins, and Princeton,
Imperial College London
There was Cambridge, Trinity
And places still at MIT
Her parents share her stress
No point trying NUS
'Cause you can't, can't just apply
With less than, less than, less than 45

Woohoohoo

She's crying in the dark
Thinking of the cash she needs to re-mark (Re-mark)
And now lowering becomes a factor
I guess it's time, time
Time!
To give up

Hopkins, and Princeton,
Imperial College London
There was Cambridge, Trinity
And places still at MIT
Her parents share her stress
No point trying NUS
'Cause you can't, can't just apply
With less than, less than, less than 45

Woohoohoo

John Hopkins, and Princeton,
Imperial College London
There was Cambridge, Trinity
And places still at MIT
Her parents share her stress
No point trying NUS
'Cause you can't, can't just apply
With less than, less than, less than 45

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Just in case, you know, for disclaimer's sake, this is supposed to be a satire, so preemptive thanks for all the comments about how this is unrealistic, but yeah, I know. And the name 'Debbie' I kept from the real song, so any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, etc etc.