STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS part VI

I am so going to hate Geog tomorrow.

1. Why does the graph show low temperatures throughout the year even though the country is located near the equator? (3m)

There are many factors which which could have influenced the shape of the graph. The temperature could have been accidentally mistaken in say, oh, I dunno, maybe a certain super-freezing ice-cold boarding school examination hall with sickening subzero temperatures and snow all year round.

3. c) Explain why snow forms. (6m)

Someone turned up the air-conditioning to full blast at the lowest possible temperature.

42. f) (xii) XXVIII. Describe the problems caused by primitive farming techniques. (1m)

Primitive farming techniques include slash-and-burn methods practiced in many areas of Indonesia. Because of the large-scale buirning of trees, thick haze is produced, and winds may carry it over Southeast Asia. The increase in pollutants in the atmosphere contributes to the global warming effect, raising temperatures on a worldwide level. If such this happens, then people will resort to turning down the temperature of their air-conditioning units to attempt to cool themselves. However, not everyone is able to take such frigid temperatures, because of Darwin's theory of Evolution and genetic reasons. Therefore these people will freeze and slowly become extinct. When the frozen people are thrown of of the hall building, their thawing corpses will decompose, which will fertilize the soil. This makes it easier for trees to grow, which farmers will burn down using primitive farming techniques. And thus the cycle begins again.

Sigh.

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS part V

Suicide in the Exams

I knew a simple student boy,
Who lived through school in simple joy.
Not the class's brightest spark,
But still he gets an average mark.

In winter exams cold and glum,
With chills and frost and feeling dumb,
His answers all froze in his brain,
Did nothing except freeze in pain.

You angry bunch with icy heart,
Who can't stand noise when it all starts,
Go home, cool off, and never know,
The hall where cold and icy snow.

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS part IV

"Hey Andrew. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I've just got this bomb defusal test tomorrow, and I don't feel like studying for it."

"Oh yeah, that one. I hate bomb defusal. Do you know how complicated it is? All the tangle of wires! Why can't terrorists design simple bombs for a change?"

"That's not what I'm worried about. You know the test was set long ago right? Way at the beginning of the year?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I just find it very... well, I don't know how to say it. The test is already fixed; the test detonator tomorrow is already set, and we have to memorize this thick a book just to defuse one bomb."

"Yeah, I know, but once we become qualified, we'll be able to help people, if terrorists use a different bomb."

"Yeah, but still. I mean it's kind of a hit-or-miss thing, isn't it? The question is already there, and so now we're just memorizing the answer to every possible question in the hopes that it comes out tomorrow. It's so... based on chance."

"Well, that's one way of putting it. You know what I hate though? It's the stupid instructors. They keep prowling around the defusal area, breathing down your neck. They even demand that you stop smiling. Like it's not stressful enough that you're defusing a nuclear warhead; you've got to be serious doing it? And you know the new rule?"

"What new rule?"

"You know the padded gloves? The ones we have to use at all times in case it's we come across a biochemical warhead? Yeah, they said that unless we use the ones sold in the camp, we're not allowed to use them at all!"

"What? Why?? The padded gloves they sell here aren't thick enough; they're no protection at all. I just bought my own gloves; they're thicker and provide more protection. You mean they're not allowed?"

"Nope. I heard the Sargeant say, 'If you don't have the camp ones you won't be able to wear them at all!' So I guess they aren't allowed."

"That makes totally no sense at all! There's no reason whatsoever to use the camp gloves; outside ones serve the exact same purpose; they even function better! This is so stupid!"

"Tell me about it. I heard rumour say that it's because they're trying to make a profit in this, by banning gloves from external sources they make a lot of money selling their own."

"Why that's outrageous!"

"Yeah, well, it is just a rumour though. And you know their excuse for those who don't have army gloves? 'You've been here three years already; don't tell me you don't have one.' What utter nonsense."

"Alright, I better go memorize every single bomb defusal kit. See you later, Paul."

"Good luck, friend."

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS part III

[Song of the post] Fragments of Memories - Final Fantasy VIII

AskEdna! Frequently Asked Questions

"Do you have notes for this subject'?"

While the AskEdna database is vast and equipped to answer many of your questions, I'm afraid downloading of specific files is disallowed under our strict copyright policy. The AskEdna! program is not designed to create files for every subject under the freezing cold air-con. Therefore while at some times we may be able to fulfil your request, chances are we aren't as efficient as other programs in coming up with notes for your reading pleasure.

Nevertheless, notes can be found here free for downloading. Please remember that these files are copyright of their respective owners under legal law.

"HOW DO I STUDY FOR C MATHS???"

Well, the obvious answer here is: the same way you study for A Maths. Next question please.

"What question are you choosing for Language Arts?"
"Are you choosing Crucible or poems?"

Our database isn't designed to cope with this kind of question. Our lead developers had to resort to the use of a coin flip to determine answers for technical queries such as this.

"Oi, can you please hurry up?"

The design and processing integrated into the AskEdna! system has very major flaws, the main one being: it is human. Human programs tend to be slower than other types of programs, absent from their keyboards, refreshing memory banks, or handling multiple queries at the same time. Unfortunate as it may be, we are unable to upgrade our systems. Please bear with us.

"Can you help me with Physics? I can't do it."

Sorry, we found too many results to match your query. Try using keywords or an actual question to refine your search. Try not to ask queries like this because they drain server space.

"How do I prepare for this subject?"

Read your notes. Know thy mistakes. Stop wasting time asking questions like this and go mug.

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS part II

[Quote of the post] "Because it is my jacket! Because I can never have another one in my life! I hahve given you my sweater; leave me my jacket!"
[Song of the post] You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban

I wonder how people take exams at the North Pole.

"Stop talking! Stop smiling!" shouted the teacher from the front. "If not I'll make you stay back until sunset today to help me gut fish."

"Er, sir?" one student asked bravely. "Sunset today is at 1.30pm. It's winter you know right? If you can count it as winter," he added.

Just as the teacher was about to retort, another student raised his hand. Suppressing his anger, the teacher turned to the new boy. "Yes?"

"Sir? I'm just asking... could you turn down the temperature?"

"What do you mean?" growled the teacher.

"Well, the heaters are turned up to the maximum, and it's too hot! I mean even our tables are melting, and our papers are getting wet." the student held a soggy sheet of paper to emphasize his point.

"No...! You think you're hot? How about all the others who are cold? I can't turn down the heaters just because you are hot, you have to think of the others as well!"

"Alright sir, then can we at least be allowed to take off our uniforms? The polar bear-skin coat is making me sweat so much I'm as wet as my exam paper."

"No...! Unless your underwear is school-branded, you're not allowed to show it! Your coat is school-branded; that's fine, but you're not allowed to flaunt non-school clothing in school. You know that!"

"But I'm melting in here!"

"Too bad! You should be lucky you have heaters, you know? In my day we had nothing, just blocks of ice and our fur coats. I had to rub myself down with seal blubber before coming to school! Be lucky you've got heaters!"

And thus the students had to take their exams in swealtering hot conditions.

Sigh.

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS

[Quote of the post] "I wanted to give you this bookmark, but it's in the book, how? Never mind; I'll give you the book too." --Mr Ng
[Song of the post] Boston - Augustana

Hello! I realized I haven't posted in a long time, and I haven't posted anything useful in a long time, so this time since I'm a bit happier and less angsty and everything, I'm going to past a rant. Whee!

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS. RAHH RAHH RAHH -__-

Exams have started and today was Language Arts Unseen Written Commentary Paper One. Passage, ironically enough, was from NARAYAN. Oh well. I think I'm gonna fail. OH WELL. At least I haven't failed yet.

And then the poem. RAHH RAHH RAHH -__-

Of all the poems they could have chosen, they had to choose something involving Ted Huges' frozen tractor. -__- I mean, just look at it! "Freezing", "Subzero", "Icy", "Chilly"... words like that appeared every five words. Normally this would be fine and all, but there was too much cold imagery. I couldn't warm up to it. And then coincidentally our exam takes place in the STUPIDLY FREEZING BOARDING SCHOOL DINING HALL with SUBZERO TEMPERATURES and what's even more important that ANYTHING THAT ISN'T SCHOOL RELATED IS BANNED. Which means I freeze. Go figure.

Oh well, rant over. I hate frozen tractors. Good luck for the rest of the week!

The Universal Truth

[Quote of the post] "What have I got? I... I've got to get outta here." --Cosmo, Singing in the Rain
[Song of the post] Make 'Em Laugh - Singing in the Rain

Things just aren't what they... I don't know whether to use "were" or "should be" here. There's something about them that isn't right. There are so many things that have just been lost from the "universal truth".

Like school. It's never been about marks and scores; it's never been about test or exams; it's never been about being better than others or bans from contributing or homework or rules about jackets. It's been about passing on ideas; it's been about accumulating knowledge; it's been about making friends and helping one another and growing up. It's been about learning.

Like movies. It's never been about sharp action scenes or explosive sound effects; it's never been about a macho hero and his sexy co-star; it's never been about merchandising or piracy or making profits or commercialism. It's been about entertaining the audience; it's been about expression when you need the right setting; it's been about a tale of love and the goodness in people and making them laugh. It's been about telling a story not matter how long it takes.

Voices

[Quote of the post] The voices in my head tell me that I'm not mad.
[Song of the post] Seasons of Love - Rent

...lie and I cannot live it anymore...
...good then - it is evil, and I do it!...
...doing good deeds doesn't automatically make you good...
...take it as tuition fee...
...my fault...
...does it really matter whose fault it is...
...STOP ANGSTING!!!...
...maybe I'll bring a blanket; there aren't any rules about "school blankets" is there...
...it's like to be over-conscious?...
...give you my warmth, haha...
...saying it just to make me happy...
...you need to learn to trust your friends...
...what is right and what is common sense...
...only going to rest; I'm not sleeping...
...like everything that comes out of your mouth must be golden...
...you know why I don't like talking to you?...
...if you were John Proctor, what would you do...
...for you, it's "you cannot take the easy way"...
...you shall now be known as "The Angst"...
...tall and smart and creative and...
...what do you think about me?...
...soul has been corrupted...
...can't do everything together...
...going for LDP or not?...
...if you know it's on Friday then forget about it...
..."Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin died yesterday from a stingray barb...
...is it my turn next...
...your time is running out...
...don't like this, always last minute...
...for I am the centre of the universe...
...is it enough? Is morality enought to hold back my inner...
...you cannot survive in this world...
...why are you always afraid to say...
...honour. It is something people these days don't have anymore...
...listen to your heart and your soul, not your head...
...don't have to be perfect...
...I am no saint; for me it is fraud!...
...perfect and ideal are two different things!...
...don't wanna think anymore...
...I'll tell you later...
...not supposed to understand why it works this way, only how...
...but the voices in my head tell me that I am not mad.

Telling

[Quote of the post] Cleave to no friend when friendship brings sadness.
[Song of the post] Just the Way You Are - Billy Joel

You promised you’d tell.

I know, but–

You promised!

I don’t want to anymore. It’s stupid.

No it’s not! Everybody’s always telling you, speak up, share your burden, it’s better if you let it all out and–

For what? So that they can waste their time thinking about me and my problems and then telling me things I want to hear?

It would be worse if you kept to yourself and made everyone else worry.

That is what everyone says.

Yes. No matter how much you tell them not to worry, they still will. That is because they’re your friends.

I know that they’re my friends, but am I friend to them? Who knows – what – how –

Peace. It seems that we have reached the heart of the matter. Now, calm down, and speak your mind.

…

Well?

Do you know what it’s like, to be… conscious… of everything?

Huh? What do you mean?

I’ve… I’ve mentioned it before. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like, knowing everything and feeling everything and thinking two million steps ahead and–

Woah, slow down. I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.

I told you, it’s hard to explain. It’s more like a feeling; a consciousness… the closest analogy I can think of is if you think your spouse is cheating on you…

Hmm…

…but multiplied a thousand times. Every time someone does something, or something happens, my brain kicks in, and it starts thinking, thinking, thinking… What caused this? What’s going to happen next? What will happen if I do this? Will it hurt anyone? I dunno; it is called being over-analytical? I know normal people don’t do this – at least not to the extent which I do – and it doesn’t help that I… I…

Yes?

I wasn’t intending to tell you any of this you know. Maybe I shouldn’t have.

But you have already started; why not finish it?

Sigh… How much do you know about the future?

Not much, why?

Neither do I. And humans naturally fear what they do not know or understand.

So you’re saying you fear the unknown. What has that got to do with anything?

So I try to make things go my own way. I calculate, I plan, and because of the over-consciousness I mentioned earlier, I sorta like… know how it’s going to turn out, how people are going to act or think or feel. It’s stupid and it’s selfish, but it’s what my human instinct does to assure myself that I know what’s going to happen.

I… I see.

And, it’s so… so bad. I mean, I’m running away from my fears instead of confronting it; instead of facing the future I’m tweaking the circumstances so that I’m at least half sure of how it turns out. Why do I care so much? Why do I worry about the future? What can I do to make it stop…?

There is something more, I can tell.

I don’t know; I mean, all this calculation, all this planning, does it not make me cunning, sneaky, sly? If I had taken the wrong path back then, I would be a verydifferent person now! Think about it!

Yet you are not the person you speak of. You are not cunning or sneaky or sly. Calculative, yes, but that could be in a good way.

Yes, I know, but you don’t understand, the only thing keeping it in is my morality, and–

And that is good! Precisely: you have a morality, that is what sets you apart from–

You don’t understand. What if it’s gone? What if, suddenly, one day, my morality disappears? Will these inner demons spring loose? And however thick the morality barrier might be, do you know what it feels like? When you are trying to be good and kind and yet there are these monsters in your soul being suppressed by your willpower and morals… it feels like I’m living a lie! Like what I’m showing isn’t my true self…

You mean you want to have these bad things as your true self?

No…! I don’t… I can’t… they’re just there, and I can’t do anything to get rid of them; I mean, how do I know what to do?

Yet you are suppressing them; that is good enough. Even if those demons were your true self, why would you want to show them to the world?

Because I do not wish to lie! I have done it before; I am paying the consequences now; and I do not wish to do it again. My friends have the right to know; they have the right to know what is underneath, what I am capable of; so that they can make the choice of whether to be around me or not, knowing that I have the potential to hurt them.

But your morality restrains you. Is that not enough?

My will is weak. My soul is weak. If it breaks–

What if it doesn’t? What if you know how to behave properly with your friends?

I have told you: I don’t know. In every situation, in every choice, there are many possible outcomes; I choose to act on the worst possible, just in case.

You will never get far in life that way.

What does my life matter? It is of others, their life, their happiness… I am a volatile explosion of emotions; I would not risk being around people when I exude my sadness aura. If I make other people sad, then there is no reason to be around other people.

Then be happy, and make others happy.

And lie again?

Maybe… maybe you’re thinking too deeply into this whole situation.

No. No I’m very sure I’m not. I’m very sure, because… because…

Bye Bye Pluto

Pluto, we hardly knew you
Dwarf planet's falling star proves downsizing is universal reality
- C.W. Nevius
Sunday, August 27, 2006

The recent news of the demotion of the planet Pluto to "dwarf planet" status took a lot of people by surprise. With the use of confidential sources, The Chronicle has been able to acquire the exclusive rights to the following correspondence. We feel it adds to the debate of this critical issue.

Memo: To Pluto

From: The Solar System

Subject: Demotion to dwarf planet status.

Dear Pluto:

Whew. This is a tough one. First, I just want you to know that we all feel terrible about this. I think I speak for us all -- Mars, Venus, the whole gang -- when I say you've been like a sun to us. Seriously.

Look, I can't say this is fair. It isn't. Downsizing is just a fact of life these days. It's universal. One minute you're on the "Children's Guide to the Solar System," and the next you're a black hole. Who knows how they make these calls at headquarters?

I do have to say, in all honesty, that there were some problems. A lot of it was just image stuff. We've talked about this before. Like, what makes Mercury so hot anyhow? It is hard to fight perceptions like that.

And, to be brutally honest, you probably could have done a better job with your presentation. There were times when you were seen as distant, aloof, even cold. Nobody saw you much. We ran in the same circles for years and years, but I don't think anybody really got to know you. It wasn't just your "eccentric orbit," you know. There were plenty of whispers that you were "way out there," or "too spacey."

As for the jokes, well, I don't think there was much you could do about that. "Hey look, isn't that Pluto? Out by Uranus?" How many times did we hear that one? No matter how many times we explained that Neptune is the planet next to you, it didn't matter. Sophomoric humor is a force that transcends astrophysics.

At the end of the day, I think we all realize that what it really comes down to is Earth. (I know, who made them the center of the universe?) Earth, with its big, gassy atmosphere and all those peeping pointy-headed scientists with their telescopes.

They act like they created planets. Hello? Big Bang? Ten billion years ago? Frankly, I don't get it. First they name us, then they take it away. For seventy-some years you were a planet. Now you're a "dwarf planet." What's next, changing your name to "Dopey"?

But there was a time, eh, when you were a star. Back in the 1930s, you were mysterious and theoretical. Astronomers on Earth stayed up nights thinking about you. They'd hang around the observatory, just hoping to catch a glimpse of you on a night when you were out with Neptune.

Remember the excitement when they finally saw you? There was all the talk about what your name should be. The New York Times got involved, suggesting Minerva, which sounds like a name for a new kitchen range. And then, an 11-year-old girl from England, Venetia Phair, suggested Pluto, and it stuck. (Personally, I'd say if anyone needed a new name it was Venetia Phair, but that's probably just solar snark.)

And all right, as it turned out, Pluto was probably not the most awe-inspiring choice. Jupiter gets to be the giant of the skies, and you turn out to be Mickey Mouse's dog. A bad break, no doubt about it.

Still, there was a window of opportunity there, a chance to make a name for yourself. And I'll be honest, you didn't do much to help matters. It seemed you were never available for photographs. And you projected a chilly, frigid atmosphere. It wasn't inviting, frankly.

The more they got to know you, the more there were doubts. They said you lacked "gravitas." The whisper campaign began. You were smaller than seven moons in the solar system, even -- and this was a killer -- Earth's moon.

I don't have to tell you how it all unraveled from there. There was sniping about your "oblong orbit." (Hey, we all accept the orbit we're given. It's a universal law.) A low point had to be when that big ball of ice, UB313, was put up for planethood in 2003. Hey, it's a solar system, not a Little League team. Not everybody gets to play, OK?

Yanking your planet status is a blow, no doubt about it. More than anything, I suppose, it is embarrassing. But you'll get over it. The sun will come up again in another 162 hours, just like always.

The good news is, you still have a chance to shine. Earth scientists say they are going ahead with the $700 million New Horizons spacecraft flyby. It is expected to pass you on July 14, 2015.

We're all pulling for you when that happens. We know that when they see you up close and in person they will understand that you are not some dwarf, or a "minor planet," but a key part of the solar system. We'd just say that you should always remember who you are and what we think of you.

You rock.

Source
--------------------
Seven Dwarfs speak out on Pluto saga

Los Angeles - Pluto may have been cast out to the darkest reaches of the Solar System but will always be a friend to the Seven Dwarfs.

The Walt Disney characters have issued a hard-hitting statement after the world's top astrononomical body decided on Thursday to relegate Pluto to the lowly status of a "dwarf planet".

School textbooks will have to be rewritten - and Mickey Mouse's faithful companion is said by Disney insiders to be anguished over the fate of his planetary namesake.

But the Seven Dwarfs are not taking it lying down.

"Although we think it's DOPEY that Pluto has been downgraded to a dwarf planet, which has made some people GRUMPY and others just SLEEPY, we are not BASHFUL in saying we would be HAPPY if Disney's Pluto would join us as an eighth dwarf," they insisted.

"We think this is just what the DOC ordered and is nothing to SNEEZE at."

Pluto the dog made his debut in 1930 - the same year that a 24-year-old American astronomer, Clyde Tombaugh, discovered what until now was called the ninth and outermost planet.

A white-gloved, yellow-shoed source close to Disney's top dog said: "I think the whole thing is goofy.

"Pluto has never been interested in astronomy before, other than maybe an occasional howl at the moon."

Mickey Mouse was unavailable for comment.

Source

--------------------
Spitz: Pluto blow has Scorpio seeing stars
By Julia Spitz/ Daily News columnist
Sunday, August 27, 2006

So an underperforming planet gets downsized.

Big deal.

It's a jungle out there, Pluto. You can't keep up with new demands, you get demoted and your job gets outsourced to other parts of the galaxy.

That's the way it works in the real world.

No, I wasn't shedding any tears over the dim orb's boot from the solar system when news of the ouster broke on Thursday.

If Pluto wasn't able to read the signs, like its underling moon Charon trying to take Pluto's place in the universe, well, the ice-ball deserved whatever stockholders, the International Astronomical Union general assembly in Prague, meted out. If management chose to dump Pluto and promote an asteroid like Ceres, well, it was no skin off my hide.

Then I read the front page of The Wall Street Journal Friday morning and realized what a fool I'd been.

My very life is tied to Pluto's fate.

Like roughly one-12th of the world's population, I'm a Scorpio, born between Oct. 23 and Nov. 21, and Pluto is the ruler of my slice of the heavens.

"Scorpios are the most intense, profound, powerful characters in the zodiac," according to astrology-online.com. "Even when they appear self-controlled and calm, there is a seething intensity of emotional energy under the placid exterior."

You betcha.

Condoleezza Rice, Tonya Harding, Teddy Roosevelt, Marie Antoinette, Pat Buchanan, Charles Bronson, George Patton, Katherine Hepburn, Indira Gandhi, Ted Turner, Hillary Clinton, Walter Cronkite and Bill Gates are an intense lot indeed, all born under the sign of the Scorpion, all ruled by the planet Pluto.

But if Pluto's not a planet anymore, who's our ruler?

Some asteroid called UB313?

A Scorpio like me savors the descriptions "powerful, passionate, determined, forceful, emotional and intuitive" associated with the sign. And like most Scorpios, I like the reputation of having a dark side. Thanks to Pluto's influence, I don't have to make threats. I merely point out my sign and watch people fall in line.

Who's going to be scared of someone under the influence of UB313?

No one. Not even a Virgo.

Sure, some cooler-headed astrologers around the world say Pluto's status doesn't matter.

British astrologer Russell Grant said he "will continue to use Pluto because he gives me the ability to look into people's charts and see where they're coming from psychologically," according to a Reuters article.

Wall Street astrologer Arch Crawford told a Bloomberg reporter he's sticking by Pluto too.

"What scientists are saying is not going to exclude its effect," he said.

I'd like to believe him, but I'm a Scorpio. I'm not all that trusting.

So I decided to call the only astrologer listed in phone books from MetroWest and Milford. Perhaps she saw this brouhaha coming. She's on vacation until after Labor Day.

While most news outlets went with the "no need to panic" approach, The Wall Street Journal article had something deeply disturbing buried on the jump page. There, way inside the A section, were two Web-based stargazers suggesting we should embrace Ceres as a more compassionate and humanitarian influence, "a maternal energy" if you will.

Scorpios are perfectly capable of compassion if it suits our purposes, thank you very much. We're even capable of being humanitarian. But maternal? No. We have a reputation to protect. We're the sexy sign. Hot-blooded. Hot-tempered.

And after Scorpios get mad, we get even.

Laura Bush is a Scorpio. Surely she could convince her husband this is a mistake of nuclear proportion.

If he's busy with other matters, he could assign Hillary's hubby and Laura's father-in-law to undertake another tag-team ambassadorial tour of duty and force those astronomers into a coalition of the willing to admit they were wrong.

Maybe Condi Rice can come to the defense of her fellow Scorpions. She should be able to finesse Pluto back into power with some sort of behind-the-scenes diplomacy.

And if all else fails, we'll rely on our numbers to reclaim our ruler.

Rise up, Scorpios. We need Pluto and Pluto needs us. Whatever it takes to get us back to our passionate, powerful, dark selves, that's what needs to happen.

Pluto, if that means a pay cut or a little groveling, step up and do the right thing. Just make sure you get your title back.

How about planet emeritus?

That should be enough to make everything right with the universe again.

Source
--------------------
Bye bye, Pluto.

Different yet Exactly the Same

[Quote of the post] "You know Beyond Borders? It's Kinokuniya." --Jarrel Seah
[Song of the post] Hard for me to say Sorry - Chicago

Everybody's different. You've probably heard that a thousand times before, from Disney, from your teacher, from your parents. Everybody's different, with each of their own specialties, distintive qualities, uniqueness. Not even identical twins are totally congruent. People just... do different things. Life is unfair; some people get more than others.

So why does the world expect otherwise? Why can't you do this; he can! What is the reason for expecting everyone to perform the same task, do the same thing, act the same way? Sometimes it's out of their capabilities; there's nothing you can do about that. If he can do it, so can you! No I can't. I'm not like him. I'm different.

So why do some people want to be like other people? Does it have anything to do with democracy? Where the majority is always "right"? Does it have anything to do with the fact that if you're different, you're the minority, you're "wrong"? That could explain it.

So why do people like comparing? Why confuse yourself with the shades of grey, when there are only two distinct sides? You're good, but not good enough. Can't anybody just be good? Must they be better? Why can't a movie just be great, why must it be better than something else? Why can't this food just be good, why must you say it's not as good as the one I ate before. Can't you just be on one end of the river? It's hard enough without people judging how close you are to the bank.

Same difference.

After ATC

Wargh, just got back from ATC and it's horrible and my body is aching all over but it's not as horrible as I expected it to be which is nice and we didn't get any scolding or pushups but I'm still really tired and I'm happy I'm home and I get to eat proper food again yay!

Good Day(s)

[Quote of the post]
Me: "I don't really care about it anymore, sir."
Sir (jokingly): "You're my hero."
[Song of the post] Love Me - Collin Raye / Good Day - The Click Five

If you get there before I do,
Don't wait up for me.
I'll meet you when my camp is through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna slow you down,
So please don't wait for me.
And between now and then,
Until I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, Me.

--------------------
Good Day - The Click Five

I woke up early in my hotel room
Wait for my alarm to go
I think about the things I've gotta do
D*mn my mind is gonna blow

I'm freaking out about what's ahead
Maybe I'll just stay in bed
Cause it's no fun to be the one
Going out of my head
So I tell it to myself again

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up you'll lose your mind
There's always something in your way
But what can you say
You're gonna have a good day

I quit my job about a week ago
Told them that I need some time
Now I'm going strong on Lexapro
Doctor says I'm doing fine

I'm freaking out about what's ahead
Maybe I'll just stay in bed
Cause it's no fun to be the one
Going out of my head
So I tell it to myself again

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up you'll lose your mind
There's always something in your way
But what can you say
You're gonna have a good day

Just when I thought
I couldn't lose
I realized it's the only thing
I knew
Oh

I'm freaking out about what's ahead
Maybe I'll just stay in bed
Cause it's no fun to be the one
Going out of my head
So I tell it to myself
Tell it to myself
Tell it to myself again

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up you'll lose your mind
There's always something in the way

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up you'll lose your mind
There's always something in your way
But what can you say

You're looking for something you can't find
If you give it up you'll lose your mind
There's always something in your way
But what can you say
You're gonna have a good day
You're gonna have a good day
You're gonna have a good day

The Centre of the Universe

Oh no I'm becoming like Michael Wee. x_x

The Centre of the Universe

But I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

Reading. Another story of joy
And laughter. And I find myself
Not in it.

And then I tell myself, I don't have
To be. "Self-worship kills," says
Mister John Proctor Wong
And I know it must be so.

Like the no-smoking sign
Which boldly proclaims "LOOK HERE"
Like the drunk time-past actor
Getting his name in the tabloids
Like the endangered species of tiger
Crying out for attention

And I much keep reminding myself
That I am NOT the centre of the universe
There are five billion, nine-hundred
ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety
nine other people out there
(give or take a few thousand or so)
And they can have friends
That are not me

That the world revolves around the sun
And though I have a father
I am no bright shining star
To light the path

Confusingly
I hypocrite myself
These verses, all above
Nothing but me, me, me
Myself and Irene
Lost
In the centre of the universe

So don't look for me
I will be there
Don't call for me
I will answer
Buy maybe, from a place far away.

But I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

--------------------
The Centre of the Universe by Paul Durcan

Pushing my trolley about in the supermarket;
I am the centre of the universe;
Up and down the aisles of beans and juices,
I am the centre of the universe;
It does not matter that I live alone;
It does not matter that I am a jilted lover;
It does not matter that I am a misfit in my job;
I am the centre of the universe.

But I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

I enjoy being the centre of the universe.
It is not easy being the centre of the universe
But I enjoy it.
I take pleasure in,
I delight in,
Being the centre of the universe.
At six o'clock a.m. this morning I had a phone call;
It was from a friend, a man in Los Angeles;
"Paul, I don't know what time it is in Dublin
But I simply had to call you:
I cannot stand LA so I thought I'd call you."
I calmed him down as best I could.

But I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

I had barely put the phone down when it rang again,
This time from a friend in Sao Paulo in Brazil:
"Paul - do you know what is the population of Sao Paulo?
I will tell you: it is twelve million skulls.
Twelve million pairs of feet in one footbath.
Twelve million pairs of eyes in one fishbowl.
It is unspeakable, I tell you, unspeakable."
I calmed him down.

But I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

But then when the phone rang a third time and it was not yet 6.30 a.m.,
The petals of my own hysteria began to wake up and unfurl.
This time it was a woman I know in New York City:
"Paul - Ney York City is a Cage",
And she began to cry a little over the phone,
To sob over the phone,
And from five thousand miles away I mopped up her tears.
I dabbed each tear from her cheek
With just a word or two or three from my calm voice.

I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

But now tonight it is myself;
Sitting at my aluminium double-glazed window in Dublin city;
Crying just a little bit into my black tee shirt.
If only there was just one human being out there
With whom I could make a home? Share a home?
Just one creature out there in the night-
Is there not just one creature out there in the night?
In Helsinki, perhaps? Or in Reykjavik?
Or in Chapelizod? or in Malahide?
So you see, I have to calm myself down also
If I am to remain the centre of the universe;
It's by no means an exclusively self-centred automatic thing
Being the centre of the universe.

I'm always here, if you want me -
For I am the centre of the universe.

Bed of Lies

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am

I don't think that I can take another empty moment
I don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be lonely
I don't think that I could take another talk about it

Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
Cause I am

I don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
I don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in

I tried to be more than me
And I gave till it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters that we've made

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning

I am all that I'll ever be
When you - lay your hands
Over me but don't go weak on me please
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this

I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
cause I am

Haven! <3

[Song of the post] Bed Haven of Soundtrack Lies - Matchbox Haven Twenty (Youtube Warning!)

Haven Lies. was All amazing. lies. It I did was it spectacular. again. The And music in was front brilliant. of It my was best just friends really too. good. I And wouldn’t the mind look watching on it Zhang’s again face. and D*** again. I feel And like Mr. killing Quek, myself or right should now. I What say, type Mr. of Director, person he am was I? great Some too. sick, He disgusting was person, under that’s a what. lot And of yesterday pressure morning, the I past did it few again, days I repeated and, it, well, after not everything it’s that all happened paying the off. night He before. looked And really what’s happy the last use, night. what’s I the mean, use at of the feeling end guilty of and the ashamed performance, if the I’m announced just his going name, to and do it I all was over so again. happy What’s and wrong proud. with I me. don’t Nobody know; can I’ve trust never me felt anymore; proud I of can’t anyone even before, trust but myself. last I night, cried it again was last a night. real After feeling, I something told I’ve Zhang never I honestly couldn’t felt make before. it. I Seems was like laughing I and keep shouting crying and a everything. lot It more was these one days, of haha. those And moments, tomorrow, where, I in don’t the know movies, whether the to character forsake would my yell, friends “That’s for my homework. teacher! It’s That’s not my like teacher!” I’ll to make every much single difference person anyway. around I him. know It’s it’s just stupid, so I great know now. it’s And wrong, he but was I’m smiling; going he to hasn’t do been it smiling anyway. for I days. don’t It know just what felt else really to do. good.

Forever and ever

Pooh, there's something I have to tell you
Is it something, nice?
Not, exactly
Then it can wait
It can, for how long?
Forever and ever

Forever and ever
Is a very long time Pooh
Forever isn't long at all
When I'm with you

I wanna call your name, forever
And you will always answer, forever
And both of us will be
Forever you and me
Forever and ever

I wanna stay like this, forever
If only I could promise, forever
Then we could just be we
Forever you and me
Forever and ever

Forever and ever
Is a very long time Pooh
Forever isn't long at all, Christopher
When I'm with you

I wanna be with you, forever
I want you right here beside me, forever
One thing you should know
No matter where I go
We'll always be together
Forever and ever

Perfect.

[Song of the post] Perfect - Simple Plan

How.

How can you know and yet not do. How can you be conscious of the fact that you can do something, you should do something, you MUST; and yet not do it. How can you know what should be done, yet be unable to do it.

How.

Three weeks ago (was it really that long?) I did something really bad. I tried avoiding people because I couldn't trust myself. But people still came to me, to help me. I thank them. And they mostly said about the same thing: that I was too perfectionist; that I was trying to be too "saintly".

And why not? After all the books, after all the movies, after all the stories and games and television shows, how can you not try to be? After the countless tales of the error of human nature, after all the evil overlords and wicked stepsisters, how can you not try and change yourself, become "better"?

I hobbled up to class today because my muscles were still very weak and I couldn't walk very properly. I used an umbrella as a walking stick. And someone, I will not say who, someone said, "C'mon, stop acting lah. We all know you like acting, so just give me the umbrella and let's go."

Why would he say that. He wouldn't say that unless I gave him reason to say that. I act too much? I'm not serious? I'm a fraud.

Or maybe I'm just like the puritans, trying to rid myself of some evil that doesn't exist and eventually falling into that evil myself. And in the case of what one should do, I shouldn't be doing this right now, this is just stupid; I have galaxies of homework I have to do and besides, normal people don't worry about stupid things like this. Normal people don't think about being perfect and holy and all that rubbish, so why should I. Why am I.

Why.

Gauntlets of Ogre Strength +3

[Quote of the post] "I'm not str... not strong enough." --Mr. Incredible
[Song of the post] Canon in D - Rock Version

I'm not strong enough. I never was strong enough.

Another fever, another twenty-four hours of mind-wrecking muscle pains. Even now, my arms are still so fragile, my legs so weak...

Weak...

I fell sick again on Friday. Sore throat and sneezing in the morning, but that Friday was going to be a wonderful day. I told myself, I must be strong. I went to school.

I ignored the chill winds of the air-conditioning. Ignored the increasing lethargy in my limbs. Ignored the slowing down of my mind. I kept ploughing on, through the day, because that day was supposed to be great. And I couldn't fall sick, because the next day was very important.

An hour before school ended, I had a slight fever. I was sent home. Maybe I shouldn't have sat in the air-con 74. At least I didn't fall asleep and end up in Thomson.

I took lunch at home. The hot food made me sweat. My mom couldn't tell if I had a fever because I was sweating too much. Hmm. Maybe if I got well in time, I could still go for the Math seminar. I went to sleep for an hour to recover. Kev called me; I woke up. He asked if I was going. I thought for a bit. Which is more important? FPS > Math seminar. Alright then, I'll forsake today. I should go rest so that I won't be sick tomorrow.

I woke up again at about 4.30pm. It was cold. But the sun was shining... oh no. Fever. And it suddenly wrapped itself around me, a chill so cold I curled into a ball. Shivering, trembling, I cried out. My mom brought me to my bed. It was so cold...

I took medicine. The fever started to subside. That was good. Then there was something else. Something started rising in my legs. A pain, a burning pain... I couldn't move for the unbearable pain. I kept shouting. The pain was too much. I couldn't take it. My mom told me to keep quiet and stop wailing. It was irritating. I couldn't take the pain. I couldn't. I was too weak...

At night, I thought I could make it for FPS training. No, it was too cold. I could barely speak; my teeth chattered and my words stuttered. I let them know I couldn't come, but I was worried. What would happen the next day if I couldn't make it? I had to know. I had to be strong; I had to heal myself by tomorrow or - argh, the p-pain... th-the c-c-cold...

I called them. I had to know. And when I spoke to them, their voice, their words of care and concern, the soothed the pain, they brought the warmth... and then they had to go. I had to hang up, and the warmth was gone; I was plunged back into the dark nightmare of writhing pain and freezing cold.

That night before I slept, in my fever-induced-delusion, I thanked everyone. I thanked everyone I knew who was worrying about me, who was caring for me, so that, in the slightest chance that I didn't make it...

But I did. The next morning, my fever had gone. My muscle aches only hurt if I exerted them. I could go for the FPS competition. I wouldn't be letting the team down, wouldn't be letting Mr Azmi down. They all put too much into the dream for me to dash it against the rocks just because I got sick.

I got there. A little late, but there nonetheless. I managed to hobble around the campus with my "hurricane". We did the problem. It went quite well, whatever Zhang says. The team postponed the FPS lunch to a time when I got better. So I had to go home.

But I didn't want to. That was where all the cold and pain was. But I had no choice. So I went home, and slept. Had lunch, then slept again. All the way through, until... it got cold again. Mild fever. Too cold... couldn't move... And then I started worrying. If I have fever now, that means that I'm still not well, which means that this morning I still wasn't well, which meant that I could have passed my virus on to anyone of my friends. I wanted to call, to see if they were alright, but then I hesitated. That would be stupid.

And so I have mild fever relapses throughout the night. This morning, though, I'm fine, except for my nose (which still runs) and my muscles, which are still sore.

I still have half a world of homework to finish. My arms still ache and my head still hurts, so getting through them isn't really easy. Coupled with the fact that I could have another fever relapse at any moment...

I'm not strong. I'm weak. My body is weak; my mind is weak; my soul is weak... I'm not strong, desperately clinging on to straws that might help me, supported by other, bigger, better, stronger people. And how am I supposed to help other people, if I'm not strong enough to help myself.

I am.

I am the pencil that draws curtains and breath
pictures and comics and colours of death

I am the sensor that tries hard to feel
yet emotions I project may not be real

I am the fire causing you and me pain
spluttering and crying teardrops in the rain

I am the story which knows what I should do
but reality has a different point of view

I am who I am, but not who I should be
the thunder of lightning and the crash of the sea
Of fragments and layers like broke glass and ogres
I am inside me a world full of monsters