Thursday, October 05, 2006

STUPID FROZEN TRACTORS part IV

"Hey Andrew. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I've just got this bomb defusal test tomorrow, and I don't feel like studying for it."

"Oh yeah, that one. I hate bomb defusal. Do you know how complicated it is? All the tangle of wires! Why can't terrorists design simple bombs for a change?"

"That's not what I'm worried about. You know the test was set long ago right? Way at the beginning of the year?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I just find it very... well, I don't know how to say it. The test is already fixed; the test detonator tomorrow is already set, and we have to memorize this thick a book just to defuse one bomb."

"Yeah, I know, but once we become qualified, we'll be able to help people, if terrorists use a different bomb."

"Yeah, but still. I mean it's kind of a hit-or-miss thing, isn't it? The question is already there, and so now we're just memorizing the answer to every possible question in the hopes that it comes out tomorrow. It's so... based on chance."

"Well, that's one way of putting it. You know what I hate though? It's the stupid instructors. They keep prowling around the defusal area, breathing down your neck. They even demand that you stop smiling. Like it's not stressful enough that you're defusing a nuclear warhead; you've got to be serious doing it? And you know the new rule?"

"What new rule?"

"You know the padded gloves? The ones we have to use at all times in case it's we come across a biochemical warhead? Yeah, they said that unless we use the ones sold in the camp, we're not allowed to use them at all!"

"What? Why?? The padded gloves they sell here aren't thick enough; they're no protection at all. I just bought my own gloves; they're thicker and provide more protection. You mean they're not allowed?"

"Nope. I heard the Sargeant say, 'If you don't have the camp ones you won't be able to wear them at all!' So I guess they aren't allowed."

"That makes totally no sense at all! There's no reason whatsoever to use the camp gloves; outside ones serve the exact same purpose; they even function better! This is so stupid!"

"Tell me about it. I heard rumour say that it's because they're trying to make a profit in this, by banning gloves from external sources they make a lot of money selling their own."

"Why that's outrageous!"

"Yeah, well, it is just a rumour though. And you know their excuse for those who don't have army gloves? 'You've been here three years already; don't tell me you don't have one.' What utter nonsense."

"Alright, I better go memorize every single bomb defusal kit. See you later, Paul."

"Good luck, friend."

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